100 Days of Being a Widow

Dinda Part 4: Meaning of Virginity

Niken realizes the arrival of Dinda. However, why Dinda did not come in, even though the rain began to fall on us Bandung. Niken decides to go out and see what happens to Dinda.

"Dinda...are you okay?"

Ask Niken who realizes that something is wrong with Dinda.

Dinda turned to Niken, sweeping away the tears that had mixed with the rain.

Dinda ran towards Niken, and threw her tears there. Niken doesn't know what happened to Dinda. However, he tried to calm his cousin's sister.

Niken led Dinda to the room. He told her to take a bath to make it fresher and could see the problem with a cold head. Niken also made a cup of warm tea for Dinda, while persuading her to tell a story. Since a few months after Dinda attended many work and college activities, she has never seen Dinda cry. Signs that Dinda has recovered from her trauma. However, the scenery this time, as seen Dinda who just came from Lumajang.

After calm, Dinda began to want to express what had happened to her and her fears.

"How can I explain my status to Pras. What if he rejects my past... Am I ready to lose him, brother?"

Niken speechless. He was also confused to give advice. Whether he will lead Dinda to be honest, or not to be honest.

"Dinda.honestly I also have the same fear as you, as Pras starts to show his attention to you. I don't know what to suggest to you, Dinda".

Niken and Dinda were silent for a while.

"Dinda, you'd better take a break. Do not forget to pray tahajud, we both ask God for guidance. May God give us a good way out. If Pras is indeed your soul mate, there will certainly be a road that is easy to pass to the pelaminan later. However, if Pras is not your match, then you should be prepared for the consequences".

Their conversation is over. Niken returned to her room, but with a raging feeling. With great difficulty he tried to arouse the spirit of Dinda's life in passing the first 100 days.100 days he passed by trying hard to fight the trauma of his past. He is not willing if this effort is in vain, just because of a new man who wants to enter his life.

Niken took his phone. Looking for Rania's cell phone number. For a long time they did not meet each other because of their respective activities.

"Generic, Rania..."

Time shows at 22:30. Rania has finished putting her children to sleep. Chantika can now sleep alone in her room, like her older siblings who have been sleeping separately from her parents since grade 1 of Elementary School.

Rania wants to shut down the internet. Habits that are done before going to bed, in order to rest with the maximum. However, because the message is Niken, then he immediately replied to the message.

"Moskalamic. Yes, Niken. Can I help you...?"

Niken also retold about what happened to Dinda. So, Rania immediately made an agenda for counseling with Dinda. It could be, Rania told Niken the best solution he thought could be given to Dinda. However, at 22:30 indicates the body is time to rest, a person's concentration decreases. He did not want to give any consultation assistance to his clients, so he decided to schedule virtual counseling the next day.

***

At 08:00 Rania has arrived at the NGO office. He immediately made a plan of activities that day. There is a schedule of consultations with Dinda that he slipped among the many clients that now I have to handle in one day.

At 09:30, the promised schedule for Dinda was consulted. Over there, Niken was ready to accompany Dinda during the counseling session. Yes, family presence is the key to successful counseling. Although there are 1000 consultants and psychologists who accompany, however, one family is needed more presence.

"Dinda, I have to tell you. That this is the part of your life that you still have to live. Deciding to be alone for a long time, that's not good. You and I both need a priestly figure capable of guiding us to a happy life. Trust me, a good man, will appreciate your honesty. He accepts or rejects your past, it is part of destiny. God has the right to move his heart to accept or reject him. If he accepts, then Pras is your soul mate. But if not, God will prepare other men for your soul mate. Be honest with him. But I suggest, before speaking honestly to him, I suggest you prepare your mentality first. Don't love too deeply. So that the pain is not too deep".

***

Dinda felt more certain about what she was going to do. After last night he got the same clue. Want to be honest and must be honest immediately, so that no one feels hopeless and not too deep in pain later.

Brief message from Pras has reached 30 messages that have not been read. Dinda was not ready to read the message. Dinda chose to press the end chat button on the chat that Pras sent.

After a consultation with Rania. Dinda finally ventured to meet with Pras, to explain what happened to him last night.

Pras met Dinda at a cafe on the outskirts of Bandung. He chose this location because Pras was doing a photo shoot for the cover of a family magazine.

"Din.sorry, I've made you wait a long time"

Sapa Pras who disperse the daydreams of Dinda.

Dinda smiled welcoming Pras.

"Yes it's not what Pras. Sorry to interrupt your time".

Answer Dinda. He looked calm, the calm that Pras always saw, before the incident that night.

"I thank you, Dinda. I need an explanation from you about what happened that night".

Pras Say. The conversation stopped shortly after a waiters presented latte coffee orders Dinda and Pras. Their taste is the same. Hot latte coffee.

"I want to introduce myself to you. About who I am totally. Something you didn't know before".

Pras' heart became increasingly uncertain. He could not guess what Dinda was trying to explain.

"I'm no longer a virgin, Pras. I've been married before".

Dinda's voice was heavy. It felt like something was clogging his throat.

Pras looks shocked. It is the same, unable to say anything. Trying to stay calm, waiting for the next explanation from Dinda.

"I got married when I was a teenager. Married in series, and then not officially inaugurated in the country, although the marriage has been several years, and my age is enough to advance to the KUA table. It was precisely then that I was abandoned, thrown away for the sake of another woman".

Dinda started shedding tears that she had been holding on to since the beginning of the story.

They both fell silent. Pras bowed. His heart is broken. He was unable to digest what Dinda explained. Do not say that he accepts or refuses. He even wanted that explanation to never happen. Because I feel unprepared for reality.

"Why did you get married early, Dinda?"

Ask Pras with a witty. There was suspicion that Dinda married because of accident alias pregnant out of wedlock.

"I got married because of a culture in my home. A culture that is considered ordinary and mundane for solutions out of the burden of parents".

Silence back.

Again. Pras asked the question, but remained in the same position, bowed languidly.

"We're divorced. Married religiously and divorced religiously. There was only a piece of talaq paper handwritten by my ex-husband, which was witnessed by the family. No divorce papers, and the status on my ID is girl. But no longer a virgin".

Dinda fell silent, then dissolved in sobs. No words came out of the two.

"Dinda, I'm taking you home now".

Pras said in a lethargic tone. His heart rumbled erratically. The bright lights of the cafe that night, unable to match the dark gray night.

Dinda's heart hurts. But he was relieved to have told Pras the truth. He resigned if he had to lose Pras.

Since that night. Pras' attitude felt cold to Dinda. They are still involved in the same project. Dinda slowly got used to Pras' attitude. Without having to explain. Dinda knows, Pras is trying to stay away.

Dinda no longer asked Pras for an invitation. He learned to ride a motorcycle. With the money he saved, he managed to buy a used matic motorcycle. Not bad, for mobility to campus and prewedding shooting locations. At least, he would no longer rely on Pras.

***

"Why your bike, Din?"

Someone's voice obscures Dinda's irritation when she finds out her motorcycle tire is leaking. It's getting darker. Of course, there are no tire repairmen still open. Dinda grumbled to herself. Why this motorcycle tire is not friendly, leaked at the wrong time.

Dinda glanced at the source of the voice.

"People..."

Mumbled.

"My motorcycle flat. Looks like it's leaking!"

Imbuh Dinda's. His heart was actually shaking. Still, he can't move on from that guy. Another in the mouth, another in the feeling.

Pras got off his motorcycle.

"I'll see"

Pras said checking Dinda's motorcycle tyres.

"Yes, your motorcycle tyre was stuck in a nail. Let me help you push. You ride my motorcycle first".

Pras motorcycle is also a type of matic, so it is not difficult for Dinda to drive it.

"Then you, Pras?"

"Let me push. In front there is a tire. Hopefully it's still open. You wait there".

Pras said as he started pushing Dinda's motorcycle. Dinda also obeyed Pras' wish. Too much talking will take longer. The day is almost before Magrib.

Approximately 300 meters finally Dinda arrived at the tire patch. The place was almost closed, Dinda asked the father of the tire patch owner to wait for his motorcycle to arrive. Fortunately, my father waited.

From a distance, Dinda sees Pras painstakingly pushing his motorcycle. The road is a bit uphill, certainly requires more power to be able to push up the tire patch.

Dinda pity to see the sweat on Pras' forehead. He gave Pras a piece of tissue and a bottle of mineral water which he always carried in his bag.

"Din, we pray first yuk, while waiting for your motorcycle tires to be repaired".

They decided to stop at a mosque not far from the location.

Dinda stunned. Why everything seems more beautiful when with Pras. He has tried to be independent, without Pras. However, it turns out that he still desperately needs Pras which is almost always there when needed.

***

"Dinda, it's already night. I'll take you home".

Pras said as the two exited the mosque.

"That's okay, Pras. I can go home by myself".

Said Dinda trying to resist subtly. However, in his heart, he did not dare to go home alone in a dark day. The journey to the house will be more than 30 minutes.

"I'll take you home anyway, Din. The danger of women coming home alone this evening".

Dinda finally complied with Pras. They went home together, albeit in different vehicles. Pras followed Dinda from behind. Every now and then Dinda's gaze leads to the rearview mirror. Pras was patiently following her. The vehicle is deliberately as slow as possible. Just being followed from behind alone had already managed to make Dinda happy.

"Dinda, can I pick you up tomorrow?"

Pras said when he arrived at Dinda's house.

Dinda was silent for a moment. He doesn't know what to answer. He feels fine. Learn to accept that Pras is not his soul mate.

"Prass. What can I expect from our closeness?"

Asked Dinda with great caution, one side he greatly admired Pras. On the other hand, he was afraid of being disappointed a second time.

Momentary silence. Pras stays where he is, on his motorcycle, down.

Dinda is worried.

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