100 Days of Being a Widow

Part 10 Suicide 1

Rania's running out of energy, dehydrated. He began to hallucinate. Thinking about things that are beyond the common sense of a healthy person. Rania's eyes were fixed on a rope that she used to dry laundry clothes. Many times he thought, and it seemed that he was ready for a decision of his life,

"Lord, I can't anymore." murmured Rania.

He tried to get up from his seat. Grabbing a rope hanging on the wall, where he puts clothes that have not dried. He hooked the rope on the doorpost, made a round knot. He felt ready to face death, he was ready to die. He began to climb on the footing of the chair, hooking his neck to the neck. And....

"Mama.mama.." An outside boy called out to mama. It sounded like Azka's voice. Rania realizes that she is still needed by Azka and Zidan. Rania got off the footing, she ran out of the house, looking for the source of the screams. Ah. apparently Raya, the neighbor's son. Rania again sat down, but she was very conscious. That the times, God still gives him opportunities to live, improve, and later, God will reunite him and his children.

Rania took ablution and performed magrib prayers. He was so absorbed with the world, he realized that the world had been set. So is his life.

Rania opened her phone. This time he realized that he did not need to contact anyone. He was tired of caving. He just opened a dawah account. Then read an article about the struggle of a do'a that came to fruition.

Rania read, that if a person wants to be fulfilled by God, then he must practice do'a-do'a. One of the do'a that slapped Rania was a verse of the Qur'an that is Q.S Al Baqarah verse 286 means "

Allah does not burden a man except according to his capacity". Rania is stunned.she always feels unable to face the test of life. God chose him, but because he could.

Rania looked at herself in the mirror. An insult, almost a loss of life, and tonight God shows that he is the one God chose to pass the test of life.

"Yes, the Merciful Lord. Don't let me kufur a favor. Don't let me always lament what I should be grateful for" Rania spoke in her do'a. He spent his long nights with dhikr and do'a. At least it makes her more stable.

Since the suicide attempt. Rania decides to study the Qur'an and the book at the mosque near her contract. In addition to adding religious knowledge, there he also gained new relationships, new customers for catering and laundry. While diving drink water.

From the routine assessment, Rania got the opportunity to learn to make various menus that are suitable for sale. Unexpectedly, Rania received an excellent appraisal. In fact, he got an offer if one day Rania wanted to be invited to work in a bakery owned by a training speaker.

"Latifa Cook and Pastry..." Rania spelled the name of a pastry shop that made baker training for study mothers.

actually, Rania really wants to join the baker at the Bu Latifa cake shop. But, he did not dare to take the risk, if he took the offer, then the terms in the contract, Rania had to stay in mes shop. Because they apply the shift works very tight. If there is an impromptu order, the baker team should be ready 24 hours of work, even at midnight or on holidays.

Rania undoes her intentions. But because of this training, Rania was offered to become a freelancer in Latifa bakeri. When the order is over load, then Rania can come to help on that day.the salary is quite high two hundred thousand rupiah per eight working hours. Very interesting, because it is equivalent to the work of Rania making bento and laundry two days.

Rania returned to study through the Damai Lestari housing, she accidentally saw a Lexus Dani car enter the housing. Rania tried to chase the car, she really hoped that in the car there were Azka and Zidan. A month longer he did not see let alone talk to the two heroes.

The gate was opened by security, the car sped into the garage. However, the location of Dani's car garage is transparent so that it can be reached by the eye from outside the fence.

Sure enough, the voices of the two boys, Azka and Zidan broke the silence. They jump out of the car.

Rania who was so longed to reflexively call out her two hearts.

"lady.mama.mama.mama..." Azka who saw her mama first. Stand behind a high transparent fence. They ran closer.

Suddenly their cries broke.

Dani and Bu Nani looked at this scene coldly. There was not the slightest intention of them to let these children out of the fence and hug their mothers or let their mothers in.

"give him 10 minutes to remove the kangen.then bring the kids in!" said Bu Nani coldly while revealing her gold colored dress and walking in. Dani followed from behind. Two baby sitters wait for Azka and Zidan to get stuck to the fence, only to touch her mama's shadow.

Rania begged security to open the fence. But the attempt failed.

"i only work here Ms. Rania's mother knows if until Mr. Dani knows I open the Bu Rania door, then finish my job Mom, security who has worked for more than four years on Dani mas. his efforts failed, although Rania used to be a very good former Pak Basuki's curse, which was very good, who always makes coffee and never late to serve food for him, but what power, who pays his wages is Mr. Dani.

Ten minutes passed with just a cry, but Rania could still teach Azka to remember the numbers. The numbers that Rania taught Azka were a row of Rania's phone numbers.

Azka is a smart kid. His memory is so sharp that in just three minutes, he has been able to memorize his mother's phone number. At the age of just five years, Azka is also adept at using androids.

"Azka, do you remember my mom's number, son?" rania asked after Azka was felt to have been able to memorize all the numbers.

"yes ma, 082146xx xxx, right ma?"

"yes, dear..."

"later Azka wanted to borrow hp to call mama" said Azka innocently.

"as much as you can dear. Mama is sure you're a smart kid". Rania said before Azka and Zidan were forcibly pulled by the two sisters.

"Azka, take good care of your sister, son.." Rania's last words were answered with a wave of hands and cries from Azka and Zidan.

The heavy rain that night made a lot of trouble. Slowly Rania pulled a step away from the house. The house that from the beginning had brought misery to his life. Now, even though he had tried to get out of the house, in fact he still had to suffer by the inhabitants of the house.

"Azka, mama misses..."

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