100 Days of Being a Widow

Section 17 Styling the Personality Flakes of Rania

The presence of the father when the fragments of Rania's soul scattered, is a miracle that is able to provide a view of life for Rania.

After the conversation that afternoon. Rania realizes that she has lost her soul. Losing her character as a Rania who was educated to become an independent and resilient woman.

Rania during the wedding gets a lot of pressure and bulying. Rania who is not too high and has a body filled, experiencing body shiming. Gembrot, boncel (a term for people who are not too tall), unreliable (for refusing a career after having children), and kampung people, because they come from outside Jakarta.

Blowing being received from her husband and family, had slowly eroded her confidence. The circle of friendship that narrowed after marriage, making Rania has no friends to just pour out her feelings, what she experienced, and what she had to do. Harboring feelings and injustice is a scary thing for someone. Where this feeling of helplessness can cause feelings of failure in living life. That is why, many women victims of divorce experience what Rania feels, psychological deterioration and failure to understand the problem, to the point of feeling that she is not worthy to live, and there are various attempted suicide.

In post-divorce conditions, or household conflicts. Women need assistance from the closest person, namely the nuclear family. Motivation, communication and warmth from the immediate family can be self-healing.

Luckily, Rania still has people who care about her. Having a father who is able to give her advice about how much Rania means in the eyes of her father and mother. There are still people who love him.

Since the conversation with his father that afternoon. Rania begins to rethink about herself and what she will do to move on with her life.

He remembered his father's message when he closed the conversation

"how hard life is, it must go on. Whatever the destiny, it must be lived. There is no human being that is not tested. The world is the arena for fate. The winner is the one who is able to complete every challenge from his God, and survive until the angels want to complete his mission to take our lives. The true winner, he who is able to be patient, until the paradise of his reward".

This afternoon Jean invites Rania and her father to take a walk in the largest mall in Jakarta. Jean is very privileged with Rania and her father. They were invited to dinner at the sea food restaurant, buy some pieces of clothing for souvenirs when the father returned to Aceh later.

Rania suddenly wants to be escorted to a bookstore. Jean complied. He took her to the bookstore in the mall area.

When father and Jean were engrossed in seeing the musical instrument on display in the storefront of the bookstore. Rania surfed the hallway that provided diary books. He picked up a fairly large diary and some stationery. He also bought a sit-down calendar.

"Sir Jean, I'm done"

Jean who was busy trying a wooden guitar turned to Rania who was carrying a basket filled with books and some stationery.

"is that all?" Ask Jean.

" yes, this is it" replied Rania.

Jean, who was happy to see Rania's eyes shining again and a sweet smile that expands, eagerly took Rania to the cashier.

"cie.cie.." said Rehan Jean's assistant who was taking a walk.

"Diary book?, would you like to write a diary, Rania?" jean asked while they were queuing at the bookstore cashier.

"Yes Jean. I want to write" Rania said with a faint smile.

"If I may know, what do you want to write Rania?"

"About who I am..." Jean stared confused after getting an answer from Rania.

"Hemm..later I could read ya" Jean persuaded.

"Can't dong, other people can't know"

Ledek Rania with a faint smile.

"Well, I'll pay for the book, yes I can follow you read hahahaha"

"maha..."

Jean knew that Rania was teasing her. For the first time since getting acquainted, they could be familiar like this. Jean loves Rania like a friend who wants to be invited as a friend. While Rania sees Jean, only a superior.

At home

The pavilion where Rania lived was a very comfortable place. The window of the room faces a garden with many daisies of various types and colors.

Rania began her writing mission. Writing is his hobby since Junior High, from writing, he found many things.

Rania once read an article that said that writing it can relieve stress and treat trauma. So, Rania began to write what she felt.

Dear Diary's ...

this is Rania, who was born to a very patient mother and a father who loved her family very much. From them I learned to live, work hard and love every creature in this world.

Diaries...

But right now I'm losing my identity. I forgot who I was because what I thought was someone else who dumped me.

I have fought for my children so much, loved them so much and thought my husband and children were mine.

Until I was reprimanded by Him. I am rebuked by God, the owner of the earth and its contents, as well as I, belong to God.

And funny. I couldn't accept being divorced, my children being taken away by my husband. Until I realized, what I thought was mine turned out to be a deposit. What I consider happy is still the world. My father said, true happiness is only in heaven later. While this world is a field or arena pitting fate and changing unwanted destiny.

I'm shy....

Undergraduate education

But I don't know the meaning of the word gratitude. I only know the meaning of gratitude to the extent that is in the Great Dictionary of Indonesian or KBBI. In practice, the meaning of gratitude is very broad. And it seems difficult, not as easy as Indonesian lessons.

Diaries...

Through this writing, I want to discover the meaning of my life.

Now, Rania in this article is the new Rania who will try to move on. Laying out the self-destruct puzzle scattered in the corridors of the Religious Court drew the smiles left behind in the old house, and unraveled the happy lost since Azka and Zidan had forgotten me. I'm sure they don't want that. But they were just plain children trying to be obedient to the person who nurtured them.

If I just keep quiet and give up, then how can I reclaim my children?

Azka, Zidan is the care of God that I must take care of. So to keep them, it takes a god-level sanity.

I look at my home like a ship. My husband is the captain, and I am the assistant captain. The ship will not run well if the captain cheats damage the ship. The code must be thrown away. In order for the ship to continue to walk down the ocean to the destination island, the assistant must be sane and strong. Otherwise, all passengers and crew will drown instantly.

Diaries

so, from this evening on the twentyth day I became a widow. I decided to get up. I made a target, in order to be able to create a new figure for Rania. Metamorphosis ...

Rania closes the diary when the clock has shown at one in the morning. Tomorrow is the first day he goes back to work as Co Baker. Postponed twenty days ago.

Thank goodness it was the 17th episode

spirit continuesssss🌼😍🤗