100 Days of Being a Widow

Azka Escape (POV Azka)

I have a plan made. I'll be looking for Mama soon. Kissing mom, and saying "mama I miss, mama Azka is afraid, afraid to face reality, afraid to face life".

But, mama once advised me. I am a hero to my mother, I am the protector of my mother. So I can't be whiny. The bigger I have to be the braver.

I actually can't take Zidan. Zidan is too small. He still asks for a sling more often. He must not have been able to walk far. But, leaving him in this state was not hearty either. Because my mother once advised me, that I should be able to take care of my sister. I should be able to replace Mama in terms of affection for Zidan.

Before the blurry action I launched. I prepared the need to walk first. I always see my mom if she's going to travel with a bag.

Drinking water

Biscuits

and

emmm here it is... Coin pants and paper bags. All I solved, without me counting it. Then I put it in the school backpack. Not to forget I was wearing cold clothes, Zidan also I wore a sweater so that his body was warm.

***

The predetermined time has come. I put in two pairs of Zidan's clothes and a bottle of water.

We walked both. Among the scorching rays of the sun, there was a dark hope of turning bright. Although I hesitated to walk down the street by passing vehicles. I've never been like this. Facing the hustle and bustle of the world without AC cooling. Heat. Just walked a few meters. Zidan was complaining of fatigue.

I'm standing by the side of the road. Tugging an angkot. We ride. Angkot is back. I looked around the space which was very much different from my father's car. There is no AC here. The sound of the machine is very disturbing the ears. The road made our bodies almost bounce out. The door cannot be closed. Fortunately, there was a man holding our bodies.

"Where's the deck going?"

Ask the gentlemen next to us.

"You go to Latifaa's bakery sir"

"Will you go to the bakery just the two? that's far away!"

"We want to see Mama." I replied steadily.

"his mom works there?"

I hesitated.

"These numbers aren't going there. Must ride twice"

Said the father giving an explanation.

"Yes. We'll call again"

"Where's the daddy on deck?"

"Father is still working, can't help"

I said while holding back nausea because of the angkot road.

###

"The driver's father will have these two children drop in the Square yes"

Said the Father. Then shortly the father came down.

"You guys be careful..." Said the father as he got down from Angkot. Without paying. The father who came down first paid the fare.

Before long we were taken down from the angkot. Baffled. This place feels foreign to us. Many people passed by, making it difficult for me to concentrate on continuing the journey. Zidan vomited. He complained that his head was dizzy. I gave him a drink from the stuff I brought. I'm getting confused because I just walked a few meters, Zidan does not want to walk anymore. Legs hurt. I tried to open his shoes, his legs were scratched. I decided to sit down at a bus stop. Zidan broke down. We fell asleep tired.

***

I woke up when I heard Zidan crying.

"Sister.I want to eat".

Zidan is hungry my mumble.

Zidan kept crying when I left. I felt a very hungry stomach. I walked quite a distance, until I found the person selling rice. I asked for rice with an omelet side dish. Thank God I have enough money to pay. I rushed back to the place. I did not forget that road. I'm sure that I didn't forget to arrive at the same stop....

"Zidan's....Zidan where?????" I shouted with all my might to call out to Zidan. But Zidan wasn't where he was. I asked the people who passed by. I really hope to find Zidan. But Zidan wasn't found!

I kept walking to find Zidan. Crying all the way. Muffled for a moment the desire to meet my mother. What happens if I get to my mom's house without Zidan?!, mama must be mad.

My steps stopped when it was getting dark. My body is so limp. The rain began to fall, I pulled over somewhere. I look around, this is under the bridge.

I still wish I could meet Zidan. Began to regret why I left her alone, or why I took her.

It's getting dark. I was terrified when some people walked to my shelter. I hid among the sacks. This place is so stinky. My stomach's nauseous. But this is the safest place for me right now.

It was like drinking from a bottle together. I started to realize that I was thirsty too. Want to open a backpack to pick up a bottle. But, I'm afraid of being discovered. Those people must be the bad guys you told me about. Mama forbid to approach people like I see them today. His ears have big earrings. Her hair was dyed, and her body was full of tattoos.

I stayed there until those people left. After they left, I went out. I walked back, until I found a shop. I sat there.

"dek...adek where are the nights going alone?"

Said the mother of the stall, it looks like she is a seller of this stall. A grocery store that sells a variety of food, snacks and coffee.

"you're looking for Mom's house..."

"where is her mother's house?"

"In the Latifa bakery..."

The mother was silent for a moment.

"wow where is it...?"

It seems that the mother does not know the address of Latifa store. unfortunately I also do not know the full address. Only the bakery was my benchmark for finding where Mom was.

"Why are you alone, which father?"

Ask mom earlier.

"I was walking with my sister Mom. But my sister was missing when I bought rice"

My crying broke. I feel so guilty for leaving my sister. Then mom asked me to go into her stall. I accidentally saw a packet of Latifa Bakery bread.

"Mother.mother.this is Latifa bread. Mama works here!" I was so excited when I saw Latifa bakeries.

Mom looked at the bread packet. Then she conversed in Sundanese dialect with her husband. I don't really understand the content of their conversation.

"Son, you rest here tonight. Tomorrow we'll find your mom's address".

"What about my sister?"

"What's his name?"

"Zidan, Mom"

"Then, I'll try to report to the police first tonight. So the police can help you find your sister"

After talking. I had a bowl of chicken porridge and a glass of tea. Mama has taught me to be independent, including eating alone. It didn't take long, a bowl of chicken porridge was finished.

That night I slept on a mat. There are no mattresses and cushions like in the room. A thin sheath enveloped my body. There's a do'a I always say before I go to bed.

"maybe tomorrow, I can meet my mother God..."

Mama Azka longs .....

Connect .,..