Waiting for Love for Me

37 (STILL) HEARTBREAK

"I.."

"Yes, Dim?"

"When are we getting married?"

Alila looked at Dimas' face with a serious look. Between happiness and disbelief, mixed with nervousness and fear when thinking about it.

"Married, Dim?"

"Of course, Al. Don't you want it? Or do you still doubt my sincerity?"

Not caring about the crowd around them, Dimas still continued to hold tightly the hand of the lover in his lap. His eyes were so deep that he looked at Alila with a loving look. Very different from his daily attitude which is always cold and stiff.

"I want it too, Dim. And there's no way I'm doubting you. It's just that I still doubt myself, whether I'm ready and worthy to be your companion. I'm afraid I'll let you down."

""Look over there, Al."

Dimas' index finger was pointed at the stage where a pair of newlyweds who had changed into reception clothes, looked very happy and threw each other a smile off their backs.

"If Sandy and Nayla can be sure and ready to get married, why can't we?"

Alila silently pondered what Dimas had said. Married to Dimas? Of course he wants it, even wants it badly. Living with Dimas forever? She must have always dreamed of it.

"I'm afraid I can't make you happy, Dim."

"For all this time you have always made me happy, Al. Even you are willing to ignore your own feelings for my happiness. Is that not enough to prove that you always give me happiness and I am indeed happy with you?"

"One more thing you should know, Al. All this time, during the four years we were together in college, and continuing until now almost five years we have been together, not once have you made me unhappy, and there's not a single moment that makes me unhappy with you."

"Every time I remember you and remember our togetherness, I smile, Al. I feel happy, I am happy when I am with you. You're my happiness, Al."

And once again, regardless of how many people were in the building, Dimas kissed Alila's hand very gently. Then with a slow movement he brought his face to the side of Alila's face and whispered in her lover's ear.

"Married to me, Al."

Along with that friendly and loving moment, Tama who had just come with her sister after taking drinks and food, was stunned and stopped her steps.

For a moment he felt his body heat up with a chest that felt very tight and his heart that hurt immeasurably, as if slashed by a new wound where the previous wound still felt sore and not completely healed.

Tami her sister who did not understand anything calmly kept stepping and directly sat down beside Alila. Because all he knew, his brother and four other friends were good friends long ago.

"Sister Alila and brother Dimas have not taken any food? Not too crowded, brother."

Dimas and Alila are surprised by the arrival of Tami who is smiling sweetly with her innocent face without the slightest sense of sin has disrupted the intimacy of both of them. The view of the two was fixed on the figure of Tama who was still standing tense not far from his sister.

Lucky among his heart pain, Tama can still control himself so as not to release the glasses and plates he carries. And before his legs became even more limp, he immediately sat down beside Tami.

Alila looked at Dimas's face which was already back flat and cold. He was used to seeing the change in his lover's face when he was among the crowd.

"The team?"

"Let's get the food first."

Dimas stood up and took Alila with him without letting go of their hands. Tama who tried to act ordinary, stared at the departure of the two with a sense of dejavu...

During the faculty farewell party of that time, he also saw the same hand grip. A very tight hand that then takes them to another room to pick up food. The same thing, at a different time and place...

"Dim, do you want soup first or directly rice?"

Alila asked Dimas as they arrived at the large table where food was served in full.

"I want you, Al."

Dimas again whispered beside Alila who immediately harrumphed badly at the reply of his lover. He glanced around, making sure no one else heard Dimas' words.

Dimas smiled faintly looking at Alila who was already holding her guard down.

"Anything, Al. I eat with you."

Alila no longer responded to Dimas's reply. He immediately took out one bowl of soup and one plate of main meal with complete side dishes. After that Dimas took over and followed Alila to get a drink for the two of them.

They returned to their original place, sitting with Tama and her sister. Alila put their drinks on the table nearby. Then he took a bowl of soup from Dimas' hand.

Alila enjoyed the soup quietly while occasionally having a light conversation with Tami. Dimas has not touched his food. He only drinks and continues to wait for Alila who is still busy talking to Tami.

After finishing finishing her soup, Alila placed the bowl on the table. He picked up his drink while turning towards Dimas who was busy with his phone with his left hand holding the plate of food that was still intact.

After drinking, Alila picked up the plate that was in Dimas' hands and began to prepare to feed Dimas. Without being asked Alila knew and had memorized if Dimas silenced his food that means he did not want to eat alone.

A spoonful of food has gone into Dimas' mouth. Because she was used to it, Alila did not feel ashamed to do so even though several pairs of invited guests' eyes saw and noticed the affection of the lovers. Tama was no exception, who saw all of it from beside her sister.

"You don't eat either, Al?"

"I was full of soup. I'll have ice cream after this."

Alila's head signaled that there was an ice cream booth in the corner of the building, next to the table where the food was small. Dimas looked at her and nodded his head.

"I'll get it later."

Tama, who saw the intimacy of Dimas and Alila from her seat, felt her heart getting torn apart and the natives themselves. Because despite being cold and a little voice, but from the eyes Dimas very clearly seen how much he loves Alila and not a second he took his eyes off his lover.

On the contrary, the attention given by Alila is done very naturally signifies how much they enjoy the activity. The look in his eyes could already represent his feeling of being deeply in love with Dimas and so sincerely serving his man.

At the end of her feed, Alila smiled satisfiedly watching Dimas finish his meal. He took out a piece of tissue that was available on the table then cleaned Dimas' mouth slowly and carefully.

"Thank you, Al. I love you.."

Dimas again whispered a love sentence in Alila's ear as he moved from his chair and walked towards the ice cream booth that Alila had wanted. Suddenly Tami stood up and followed Dimas to get some ice cream as well.

Alila and Tama were sitting only one seat that was occupied by Tami. Not wanting to look awkward, Alila tried to open a conversation with Tama who was taking advantage of the departure of Dimas to stare closely at the woman he still loved.

"How did you work with the Pandawa Group, Tam?"

"Good, Al. Everything went well."

Tama nailed her gaze on Alila's face that looked even more beautiful today with more stunning makeup than usual.

"Are you happy, Al?"

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