Never Gone (Health and Obsession)

I live, and I have feelings

The room felt dark and suffocating, a small body that was trembling due to his crying, and hands that were flushed with rattan wood marks struck.

"For Mah..."

"Sorry..."

Her cry begged the woman in front of her, her small body unable to fight or defend itself.

"Basic son of a fucking carrier! You idiot!" only curses and curses came out of the woman's mouth for the poor boy in front of her.

Plaque!

A blow that felt hot and poignant simultaneously, a pull of hair that seemed to want to pull out all the long strands of hair for a moment.

His body could not move, the woman he called Mama left him in that dark place until all the darkness came and swallowed her.

The pain in his body slowly dissipated as the darkness entered and ushered him elsewhere.

Her feet stood on pretty shoes, a beautiful dress like a fairy tale princess and the little girl saw her tiny hands that had no punch marks at all.

"Fuck!" call him when he sees his father from afar.

His little feet immediately ran as fast as lightning approached the man and smiled towards him.

"Isn't he? Where's papa going? Ainsley's coming too!" his words felt the father would bring him and give him protection, however.

Nah!

Her small hands were brusquely brimmed until the tiny body of the beautiful doll instantly fell.

"Aren't I busy? Just disturb!" said the man angrily looking at the fallen little girl.

He turned his back leaving the little girl filled with his million hopes for her.

The little girl slowly woke up, she got up again and her little legs chased after the father who was getting away from her.

The back of the field he saw was getting farther away to make him unable to catch up with his tiny legs.

His tears fell, he looked at the father who left him away.

Mamma...

Papahs...

Don't go, Ainsley's a good boy...

Ainsley just wants to be loved by Mamah Papah...

The crying that was falling from her eyes hit the beautiful white shoes that had a pink ribbon on top of her.

The cry that began to drown him until he seemed to drown in the ocean that made him unable to breathe.

His eyes were open, his breathing felt almost exhausted, he felt different. His body was no longer small but looked grown up.

"Hey? You awake?" asked a man who greeted her when she opened her eyes.

He saw the man who was holding his head on his thigh while stroking his hair gently.

"Nightmare? Can I make you some hot chocolate?" a gentle voice and a smile that will be attentive towards her.

Sean's?

She feels comfortable, her body can rest and the man who greets her treats her so spoiled like the queen of the kingdom, however.

"Have I ever allowed you to go that far?"

The voice that had been speaking softly to her had now started to turn cold, that loving and caring gaze had now turned into an angry look.

The hand he felt was tied with a chain to the top of his head.

Ctaz!

"Akh!" he instantly grimaced as a large rope that felt sharp hit on his body.

One lash made her silenced, she again felt pain in her body, but she felt happy with what the man was doing.

"I Love you." said the man whispering after lashing his body.

Does love really have to feel pain? Is this love?

"I told you to be a good girl, right?" ask the man while touching his chin.

He smilingly replied to her, "Sure, I'm a good girl.." her reply with despair had been lost in her eyes.

The man smiled and left her, turning away without answering her again.

"No! Don't leave! I don't want to be alone!" her screams were filled with cries and begged as the man left her.

But the man who had treated her like the queen had disappeared behind the door, no matter how hard she called still no answer at all.

Her tears were shed again as the man went from her side.

"Why crying? You want me to let go. Your hand?"

Her tears paused for a moment, she felt someone hugging her from behind, and sniffed and kissed her small neck.

Uncle?

He recognized the voice that spoke to him, released his chains slowly and looked at his eyes.

His small body was embraced until he felt calm again, a feeling that had been ignored by the father as fulfilled when with the man.

"Uncle, I'm ma-Ukh!" instantly his breath faltered unable to come out.

The large hand that had just wiped and stroked her until she felt comfortable began to circle around her neck.

His body rebelled but the man did not listen and continued to strangle him, the place he used felt soft to drown him somewhere else again.

He seemed to wake up on a soft bed, his clothes were incomplete and he was with the man at this time.

"Uncle! Nay! I don't want to!" her words revolted but the man again strangled her.

"You forgot? You're mine! You have no right to refuse!" said the man who continued to strangle her to make her breath feel exhausted and her view darkened.

Calesta's? Calesta!

The sound that reawakened her, a place that had an ancient and classic style made her look back with a smile.

All the wounds on his body again disappeared every time he stepped up and approached the woman who called out to him.

"Mommy?" his words that returned smile like all the pain he experienced never existed.

The open hand gave her the warm embrace she missed.

Maybe not in missed but he hugs that he dreams of, hugs that are just for his without expecting his to sacrifice something too.

The warm hand that grasped her made her walk back to the same point, looking at the people who once gave her wounds and memories.

Then again grabbed the hand that came at her without remembering all the injuries she had ever experienced.

Like going back to the beginning, laughter, crying, fear came back at her.

The life he liked slowly disappeared and re-encaged him.

Prangs!

His body again felt pain, he did not know why now he was in a place that had full of glass fragments that hurt him.

"No! I'm not lying! You have to believe!" say it to the man in front of her.

Hands that begin to emit a thick red liquid, a body that feels so sore and painful that he can not breathe.

"I beg you..."

"I'm not lying." said her soft-spoken who wanted to shut down when all her pain made her unable.

Is this the kind of love I want?

He felt tired to make her want to let go of everything, but...

"Mommy?"

"Mommy!"

The voice reawakened her, she felt almost destroyed but re-awakened and looked for the voice that called her.

Such energy is re-filled, like the hope that comes when he has reached his limit.

He woke up and left his wounds and embraced his last hope.

Laughter and a smile that made her calm, tiny hands that held her.

"He's our child" the man whispered in his ear.

The pain in his body was gone, he did not hate the man and even now laughed loosely with his son.

But slowly the sound of that adorable little laugh faded.

The portrait of the happy-looking family seemed to disappear instantly.

Husband who is so loving though sometimes hurt because of his possessive attitude and his son who is so spoiled and affectionate.

Everything is lost and destroyed at the same time.

He's resting on his knees, "I want my son, I want to see him..."

His words begged like losing his mind again and able to do anything.

"She's fine without you," the cold voice that made her heart shake made her hurt.

"No! I can't believe it! I want to meet-"

"I don't need you anymore Mom," a gaze that looked flat and didn't care about her.

The small body slowly turned away from her and went with her father away from her.

Instantly the bright smile that once strengthened her disappeared and destroyed her.

"Don't..."

"Why did everyone leave? I don't want to be alone..."

Her tears were now destroying all her hopes of remaining.

Just a small thing he wanted, not difficult but so difficult when undergoing his.

Affection...

The thing he wanted to get a long time ago, not affection doing the system of receiving and giving.

It is not the affection of authority when he loses his right just because he already has someone who loves him.

"Am I going to stay like this?"

"I'm leaving,"

His feet ran aimlessly, a foothold that made him reach the point of none of it he saw.

The white room was endless, bottomless, and had a boundary.

Just solitude, not even a shadow accompanied him at all.

He was injured, and felt sick even though his body was now clean without any trace.

His feelings were so depressed that he was unable to think of anything else, he wanted someone to hug him and make him no longer feel lonely.

But he had been in that endless room for too long until it was very difficult for anyone to penetrate him.

"Shall I be sick?"

"Will no one love me if I don't give them what they want?"

"Not that kind of love that I want, I just want a love that doesn't hurt me..."

"But after I think again I've been hurt too much, so I can hold it."

"I know that my life may not be something I want..."

"Then is that why I deserve to be treated like this?"

"What is the selfish thing to love?"

"Or is all love like that?"

"Am I being too stupid?"

"Or am I not worthy of being loved from the beginning?

"I can also get hurt, I can get angry too, I stop being treated like a thing..."

"I'm alive, and I have feelings..."

"Don't throw me out,"

"I'm afraid of myself,"

"But my desire is too excessive, I realize it..."

The beautiful iris that dropped tears when she was at the point where she felt she was losing everything.

There was no sound around her, no shadow accompanying her and nothing to comfort her.

Only the feelings of tiredness, loneliness, hopelessness, and the desire to be loved that accompanied her were in that endless vacuum.

...🌼🌼🌼...

The sound of the monitor sounding made the man stare uneasily.

The doctors who came were immediately busy doing treatment to deal with the situation where the woman was constantly struggling every second.

"His condition is getting worse, I don't know if maybe he can survive in two weeks or not" said dr. Terry, things are starting to calm down.

"He will endure, I'm sure." replied Richard as he stared at the woman who looked so weak.

The room that had been so noisy was now back silent not giving any sound.

Calm down but it's getting her worried.

The pale beautiful face was still asleep, and every second of her was worrying about a beat that could have stopped at any moment.

Tests...

The man was silent, the woman who did not even open her eyes and could not hear anything was taking something out from the tip of her eye.

"What's wrong? You crying?" asked the man while wiping the tears that felt so cold from the woman.

"Have you heard his words?" richard asked, looking at his wife's face.

"It's okay, I'll keep you alive no matter what, I told you I'd never let you die first."

A woman who cries when she is unconscious.

Tears that kept coming out to make the man continue to rub her slowly, he did not know how to stop it because the wife who could not answer every question.

"Are you crying because you're sick? You should've pierced my heart if you wanted to repay me, not your heart." he said softly staring at the woman.

"But it's okay, I'll treat me right away so you don't get sick anymore" she said as she peeked at the woman's forehead.

"I love you." whispered her softly in the woman's ear.