Never Gone (Health and Obsession)
I want to see her one more time
Axel is now starting to be able to walk freely, his attitude began to be controlled while routinely undergoing psychological therapy after almost a month of treatment.
His eyes looked down at the hospital window where he was being treated.
The shadows and shapes of the people shrinking from above made her just silently stare at her.
A large room and he who is alone, because not saying anything does not mean he is not lonely.
"Axel used to be in love with Mommy.." his murmurs softly looked at a woman who was holding her child.
He misses his mother but is also angry at the woman at the same time.
The hope that never matched him made him start to feel upset and angry.
......................
Zinchanko Mansion
Ainsley looked at the man sitting in front of his desk while meticulously working on what was in front of him.
"Richard? Can I see Axel now?" asked her who was just sitting on the sofa because her husband asked her to accompany him.
There was no answer at all even though the man had glanced at him while listening to his words.
"I made cake for you! I've also been the one for Axel!" she said she was trying to get the man to let her.
"You can get out, like you're bored" said the man, who once again gave no answer.
The hope that was burning in the woman's eyes Erna instantly when she heard her husband telling her to come out because he did not want to discuss about her request.
Ainsley slowly came out, his legs feeling heavy. He misses his son even more.
The big and magnificent house was immediately quiet when there was no small man chattering and asking a lot of questions.
Unknowingly walking to his son's room, the toy he always played with and the notes and graffiti he made the five-year-old made him smile.
"What kind of Axel news, son? Sorry well Mommy has not been able to come." said his smile but dropped his clear circles on the picture of his son who is still irregular.
He really misses the voice, face, and smile of his son.
The desire to hug tightly and kiss his cheeks became more pronounced, compared to other punishments and the torture he had received now was his heaviest torture.
Being separated from someone who is his life expectancy makes him so tormented that it is difficult to release his breath.
"Axel's not angry, is he? Mommy doesn't want to be the same Axel but Mommy can't.." she said softly.
He sat on his son's bed, looking at the toys as well as all that became his son's habit.
He who began to feel comfortable in his son's room also made him fall asleep unconsciously.
...
Richard who had finished doing what became his work went out and wanted to invite his wife to dinner together.
After that, he went to the hospital to meet his favorite son.
"Where is he?" ask the waiter who was in the dining room when he didn't see his wife sitting down.
Only the table contained all the delicious food but none of the women filled the bench at the table.
"Mrs sed-"
"Here you go, I'll call him" said Richard cutting and moving into his room.
He immediately frowned when he did not see the wife in their room, he immediately turned around.
Perhaps only a hunch and guess made his steps fixed on his son's room.
And sure enough the woman fell asleep there, whereas in the nights before her she never slept well and only looked restless all night.
His hands touched the cheeks and stroked the woman's face that was swollen from crying.
He began to carry her, slowly to his room and did not wake up dinner because he saw the woman who could fall asleep.
Lowering the small body slowly onto the soft bed owned by his and his wife but the woman immediately woke up when he moved.
His subconscious and consciousness only wanted his son to make him wake up immediately.
His eyes saw the iris of the husband who was still a few inches away from him when slowly put him to bed.
His hands began squeezing the man's shirt staring at him with a glassy iris that released all the flavors that were piling up in his heart.
"I beg you..."
"Let me see her, I really can't take it anymore..."
"Stop torturing me this way, I can't help it..."
Richard saw only that hopeful look, he said nothing even though the woman he loved had begged him so deeply.
"Why do I like you so much?" her frowning question that began to open her voice.
He did not know the reason why he could as he pleased and his obsession with something.
"And many are more than you, more beautiful, better, more everything. But why do I just like you?" ask her who doesn't understand.
He realized something when talking to the former lover of the woman, he was very eager to seize her because he felt fun and curious.
Like just fulfilling a desire that is buried in himself, he who is easily bored of course he will only feel able to throw away at any time when after getting it.
But when the woman disappeared her sense of annoyance and so wanted to find her even though she had to search in any corner of the country.
When you meet and feel the touch that makes your heart beat, you feel the flow of electricity that makes you happy for no reason.
Or even when the woman treats her well, gives her a smile or gives attention to her instead of her feeling bored she even more wants to get more.
Like never enough and will never be able to fulfill his wishes and the desires that he has prepared with the container getting bigger.
Ainsley could not answer her, she just stared with her green iris. There was no answer he could give.
Because love does not need a reason, a sense of attraction can arise and survive on anything.
"Why ask me, all the answers are on you" Ainsley replied to the man.
"I love you, I think maybe that's the answer" she looked at the woman.
"If you really love me, why you hurt me so?" ask the woman.
"I want you to stay with me forever, but you always seem to wanna leave me," (I want you to stay with me for as long as you can, but you always seem to want to leave me.)
He answered with his eyes looking at the woman deeply.
"What do I have to do to make you believe I'm not leaving?" ainsley asked.
The man did not answer, he could not say anything because nothing could cover his fear of losing the woman.
Ainsley was silent and staring at her, she pulled her husband's hand firmly.
The energy suddenly released by the woman made Richard surprised, he who wanted to wake up immediately when his body rolled into the bed immediately stopped when the woman climbed up her stomach.
"I can be any woman you want, you just have to say it. I'll do it" Ainsley said, touching the man's chest, which was above his body.
"It's like having Axel really a gold card" said the man with a bitter laugh.
Not because of love but the woman did everything for her son.
Again, he should feel happy but why he always felt something that made his chest feel unable to breathe.
Like sick but he could not explain what hurt him.
"Axel is not a gold card, he's your son" said Ainsley, who frowned when he heard the man as if his son was a useful item.
The man did not say anything, his hands moved to touch and stroke the hair of the woman who was sitting on her stomach full of her muscles.
"He belongs to me, just like you" the man said softly.
Then a second later he pulled the woman's nape down on her and mel*mat pink lips deep.
"Can you do it tonight? If you can really make me satisfied I'll think about it" Richard said as he let go of his kiss.
Like the hope that is always built the man even though he never gave it after doing what was asked, but Ainsley still did it in the hope that his desire was granted.
She let go of her kisses and bit the man's neck, either since when she learned but she got used to it and could imitate what her husband always did.
Removing the shirt buttons, and wiping the chest of the field and also the stomach full of the man's muscles made Richard feel more electricity flowing throughout his body.
He wanted the one to move and take the lead but holding her back, he wanted to know the extent to which the woman reacted on him.
The soft hand that touched the hard body full of muscles was when the shape of the body that looked like a statue of the Greek god was beneath him.
She lightly tucked the man's neck and peeked at his husband's field muscles.
Feeling something that is stuck makes her, go down and start doing something with her mouth.
The man could not stand it and held the woman's head, after adjusting his breath when he reached a peak, he also saw since the face that looked unable to breathe it.
There was no order, but the woman did what she liked without saying, swallowing everything as she liked.
Ainsley slowly woke up, climbed up the man's body and did something that her husband loved.
At 12:30 am
After being tired and unable to bear the woman was beside the body of the man who this time was like a beautiful dream in a bullet-riddled spring when bad events came and also something sweet came.
He regulated his breathing as well as the woman who was beside him.
"Can I see Axel?" ainsley asked after adjusting her breath.
The man did not answer, Ainsley said. He had tried as hard as he could to please the man, satisfying the man's desire for him.
"You think Axel can live without his mother?" ask Ainsley again.
His eyes now began to look empty and had already reached his limit.
"That's it, but maybe the answer is yes." retorted Richard who wanted the woman to more loudly persuade him.
The deg!
An answer like this now undermines all hope of survival.
"Then can you say that you love her so much, tell her that I'm so lucky to be her mother" she said, unconsciously smiling.
The man did not give a reply to the request.
Ainsley got up and put on her clothes.
"I'll take a shower first, if you want you can have dinner or sleep first" she said, giving the man a smile.
Richard frowned at her look, a smile that looked like it was going to let go of everything, a look that as it now had lost its hope and despair.
Ainsley turned around with her smile, walked towards the bathroom and locked her up.
He was still smiling until he looked at the mirror and at once the smile disappeared and only told a face without expression.
Axel can live without me, he doesn't need me...
Then what am I going to stay for?
His mind is full of thoughts that should not exist.
His hands went to the drawer behind the mirror that kept a sharp nail knife.
I shouldn't be her mother, she'd be happier if I wasn't her...
But I feel like I have luck in my life because I have it...
Axel Mommy's son, sorry well baby because Mommy can not make Axel happy...
But Mommy wants Axel to be happy...
he said in his heart while slowly thrusting the tip of the nail knife right into his heart.
The hand, the white blouse he was wearing started to bleed, yet he smiled involuntarily like he felt no pain at all.
Richard began to feel strange, he did not hear any sound from behind the bathroom. There was no sound of water just silent since then.
He moved and banged on the bathroom door.
"Ainsley's? You ready yet? Let me come in too" he said, knocking on the door.
His premonition was like saying something that made him uncomfortable.
"Ainsley's? Ainsley's! You hear me? Open the door!" richard was getting uncomfortable.
There is no reply whatsoever to make him immediately move to break the door.
Ainsley turned towards the door that had started to be noisy, he started to feel the pain of the knife but he could not stop it.
Brak!
The man's eyes were rounded instantly, a body that stood on a puddle of blood flowing from the woman's chest while holding something in her hand that she kept on pumping.
Uhuk!
The woman began to bleed from her mouth and her body began to fall to the floor.
"Ainsley!" said the man who immediately caught his wife's body before touching the floor.
"What are you doing?!" ask her by yelling at the woman.
His trembling hands held onto the body that was filled with that blood.
As if he did not feel anything, the woman smiled as before.
The body slowly began to limp and lose the energy he forced to touch the face of the man in front of him.
The small hand that felt cold and full of blood touched her with a touch that always felt soft.
"You can tell Axel that I love him so much? Tell him to keep him in mind of me." said Ainsley in an increasingly weakened voice.
Richard shook his head, "No! You have to tell yourself!" tell that woman.
His mind seemed lost and could think of nothing but hugging the blood-filled body of the woman.
"Do you need to go this far to get back at me?!" asked Richard subconsciously dropping something from his eyes.
Clear circles that he never even let out when he saw the death of his parents.
The woman's face smiled, her thumb rubbing the man's tears.
"I love you, maybe not every day, but there are days where I really just look at you" Ainsley smiled.
He did not know when, however, he had felt it for 6 years undergoing his marriage with the man.
His heart was also once shaky, he also once felt really happy and felt very loved while undergoing his marriage relationship.
The deg!
The man seemed to feel something piercing through his chest, a recognition that times he could truly feel.
Not just a confession from the lips but a speech that is said based on the woman's true feelings.
"I'll take you to the hospital! I-" said Richard who was getting more panicked as the woman's hand began to fall.
Ainsley's body slowly went numb and sank into the ocean, leaving her only staring at the darkness that wanted light.
Love me even more...
Give me more time...
If we meet again, now or later...
I'll love you then too...
And I am satisfied with my life...
I get happiness when you make me have my child...
The kid that's my life, but I don't think he's gonna need me...
If I can still see her once again I hope everything improves...
