Give Me Your Hand's

The Self-Confidence That Is Abolished

“What should we do?” cansu asked Mehmet when they saw the man with the crooked nose still in front of his house. “The guy seems to be looking for Ivy.”

Mehmet asked Cansu to wait for some more time. The bald-headed man did not want Hasan to recognize him. Almost five minutes they waited in the car with focused eyes watching two people talking with a serious look on their faces.

Cansu's breath slightly floated a few strands of hair in front of him when he saw the Ferrite confidant named Hasan finally leave. His mother stepped inside. The two men were unaware of Mehmet's car parked next to the house.

“Oke..., let's go down and talk to your mother about our relationship,” Mehmet who immediately opened his car door and set himself on the highway.

But Cansu was unmoved over his seat. He clenched his palms together and hid them between his legs.

“What's up? What are you thinking?” The man without hair saw his lover looking ahead. I don't know what he saw, while Hasan's car was a few minutes ago leaving his house.

Mehmet finally got back into the car, as Cansu turned to look at him. The woman's hand touched the side of her lover's seat. From the look on her face, Mehmet could see that something was stuck in the heart of the black haired woman.

“Mehmet, preferably...." The words just stopped.

“You don't want me to talk to your mother?” The man could only raise one of his eyebrows.

The gazes of the two pairs of eyes met in a straight line. A headband that Mehmet saw as the answer to his question.

“Lantas what's wrong? Aren't you sure I'm serious about you?”

Two puddles of water were seen from his pair of blue eyes as soon as he heard Mehmet's question. He was very sure, that the man beside him was serious about being in a relationship with him and loved him very much. It's just…

“I... I don't want..you heard hurtful words... from my mother.” Finally the word came out of Cansu's mouth.

Something he always feared, when he brought a man to meet his mother. It was always all wrong in the middle-aged woman's eyes.

“I... not ready.”

The dark-skinned man simply rubbed his face. For a few seconds, he looked at his girlfriend's face. He tried to cover the dark clouds hanging from his face and replaced them with a smile. A very forced smile.

“Alright, if it wants you.”

“I'm sorry.” Those are the only two words that Cansu can say.

He clasped tightly onto the black rope that connected the two ends of his bag and looked at Mehmet with a look of regret.

“Come in to the house. I'll go back to the cafe.” Mehmet turned his gaze to stare at the highway with its wavy texture.

From a distance a car from the opposite direction drove past its four-wheeled vehicle, flying several batches of brownish-yellow dry leaves. Some of the leaves were screaming as they fell on the hood of Mehmet's car.

Slowly the figure of Cansu disappeared from before him as the man drove forward his army green car. It holds

his forehead with one of his hands while the other hand he put on the wheel. The originally yellowish-red sky seemed to dissolve in his sadness, slowly the space now turned into a dark and mysterious figure.

Several rows of trees wrapped in small, colorful lights accompanied Mehmet's trip to Istanbul Cafe. There was no music or other sounds in the car. Silent. Such is

his feelings at the moment. Sometimes he rubbed his bare head.

"What would it be like if I gave my whole heart to a woman? Why should love be judged by what is visible? Nonsense for all that!" his mind is rumbling.

The Jeep stopped in front of the Istanbul Cafe with its creaking brake sound. The sound of the car door was almost rivaling the rhythm of music that flowed in his cafe.

During this one year he tried to build his own life, without the shadow of Kenan and the Fallay family. He tried to make himself equal to the Turks in general. Survive on land that is not his birthplace. But it all feels in vain, when you're dealing with people who judge your past, who you are and where you come from.

“Now where are you?” asked Mehmet who was talking to someone on his phone.

“Where else if not in the apartment.” Another man's voice was on the other end of his phone.

“I'll be here in ten minutes" Mehmet said.

After closing his cell phone call, he stepped foot onto the bartender's desk. The brewer could not refuse the cafe owner's request, as the man asked for five bottles. Five box-shaped bottles with their brown liquid are available on the table. The bartender gave Mehmet a bag made of thick cardboard to store the bottle.

At about ten in the night, there was a bell sound in the apartment room and Falaea's office. After shaving off the feathers that adorned his face, Kenan stepped out to open the front door.

“Who came tonight?” ask Ivy who saw Kenan come out of the room. The man walked in a hurry without turning his head towards Ivy.

“Do any clients come tonight?” Ivy asked once more as she put her clean dishes into the closet, because that was what she wanted right now.

From behind the open closet door leaf, he could only see the steadfast back of Kenan standing in front of the doorway. It's not clear who the guests are tonight.

Apparently Aaron's son did not hear Ivy's question, the man immediately opened the door of his apartment. He saw Mehmet standing in front with a face that looked chaotic and a carton bag in his hand.

He could see the contents of the bag as Mehmet walked past him. The black-haired man could only faintly smile and shake his head as he closed the door of his apartment back.

Mehmet dropped himself on the long sofa, which was the only seat in the room. He placed his head on the lips of a sofa made of synthetic grey fur. A second later, his eyes were closed tightly. That's all he wants right now.

Aaron's son sat himself beside Mehmet. He opened a bottle and gave it to his friend who looked like a man in despair. Then he opened another bottle for himself. The two men drank in silence, none of them started the conversation.

“What is this about women?” guess Kenan who already couldn't help himself not to ask.

Half the bottle had been poked tonight, but the dark-skinned man did not also open his voice.

Mehmet put down the bottle of his drink that had been left unnoticed. His eyes stared at the screen of the television that had been extinguished. Through the flat screen, the man could see the reflection of his own face. He simply answered Kenan's question with a stifled voice in his chest.

“You want to drink again?” asked Kenan who was preparing to open the third bottle.

“Give me one more.”

The bottle cap slipped from his body and a puff of alcohol smoke rose from the top of his neck. The man with the head of the plontos immediately snatched the bottle from Kenan's hand, gulped it until it left only a quarter.

“What before your father died, he once said who and where my family lived?” Mehmet's question made Kenan scrunch his forehead.

"Why did he suddenly ask that?" inner Kenan.

Kenan tries to remember his past story. The time he and Mehmet met at an orphanage. She ran away from home when her mother died. He felt lonely and without friends. His small footsteps led him to a modest orphanage inhabited by children of war conflict victims on Turkey's border with other countries.

Little Kenan was standing in front of the fence of the parlour that was only as tall as his head back then. He saw a dark-skinned boy being bullied by several other children in the middle of the field. Aaron's son immediately ran up to the bad boys and hit those who were bothering the dark-skinned boy.

“Don't bother him! Go y'all!” he shouted at that time to the three boys who disturbed Mehmet. He pointed a block of wood along his small arm at them. The three brats leave Kenan and Mehmet.

“What's your name? Why are you helping me?” asked Mehmet who was looking at Kenan's face. A white boy about the same age as her, ten years old. The boy stretched out his hand to make him stand up.

“Down. You?”

“Mehmet.”

Kenan noticed Mehmet's face and posture. Aaron's son thought the boy's name was Turkish, but if he saw it it was not like him and the other Turkish children.

“Can I stay here?” asked Kenan who was staring at the orphanage building that was behind Mehmet.

“This is not my home, but since my baby I have lived here. Come with me,” take Mehmet.

The two boys entered a room downstairs to meet the Head of the Orphanage. Kenan was forced to lie by saying that he had no parents, so that the woman would let him live there. Aaron's son stayed at the orphanage for almost a week.

Until one day, Aaron found him in the orphanage. Kenan made the condition to his father that he would return home as long as his father allowed Mehmet to stay with them.

Since then Mehmet knew the Fallay family. One good thing Aaron did for the rest of his life was to finance Mehmet's entire life until he completed his studies abroad with Kenan. The two boys with different characters and backgrounds make a friendship until they grow up.

“Which I know your family is not from Turkey. Who is your biological family and where they are, my father never said it.” Kenan turned his face to look at the empty drink bottle that was in front of him.

A heavy breath sounded out from Mehmet's nose. Thirty years ago, no one has looked for him to this day. Whether he lives or dies, no one cares.

“Did his mother Cansu ask you that?” asked Kenan with a little laugh.

Aaron's son imagined how irritating Sophia's face would be when the middle-aged woman looked at him as they met at Ivy's house.

“I haven't met him. Cansu is not ready to introduce me to his mother.” Mehmet took his drink back.

“You are not confident?”

Only a murmur could be heard from Mehmet's mouth tightly clenched.

“Who would dare to refuse Mehmet, huh?” asked Kenan with a laugh. He patted his best friend's shoulder to give the man some spirit.

“What you're dating is Cansu, not his mother! He accepts you, you love each other. Problem finished!”

“You have what the Turkish man wants. You're even better than me.” added Kenan.

“If Sophia rejects you, tell me. I'll help you. If you're lonely in the apartment, stay here tonight,” said Kenan who was replied with a smile painted from Mehmet's face.

SERIATE....