Forced to endure

Chapter 65

Sinda

Mas Adji has not given up. Early in the morning before leaving for work he came home. Actually I was lazy to meet him, but he kept shouting calling my name. I finally met him before my neighbors popped up for hearing his screams and making new rumors.

"Win ... Can we talk for a second? I want to apologize to you."

"I'm sorry. Go now!" cold answer. I'm sorry or it doesn't make any difference. I just want him to get out of my house.

"Win ... I beg ... "

"There's nothing more to talk about!"

I had almost closed the door and left Mas Adji, but Keisha just appeared from behind me.

"Sir .... !!!"

As usual, he ran straight into his papa's arms as if he hadn't met for months.

"Pa's tumben kok? Is it today Papa would like to pick up Keisha as well as a walk? Isn't Keisha off school today?"

"Mmc .... Papa will ... Uh ... That ... " Mas Adji was confused looking for answers. " Papa wants to take Keisha to school" he replied.

"Really Pa?" keisha asked still in her papa's arms.

Mas Adji nodded. "Papa misses Keisha."

"For a moment Pa ... " Keisha pulled her papa's hand and invited her in. A smile of victory was seen on Mas Adji's face.

"Papa wait here, Keisha get ready first ... "

How happy Keisha is. Even every time I bought him a toy he wanted his face was never as happy as when he met his father.

"Win ... I'm sorry for my words last night. I didn't mean it that way." Mas Adji spoke again after Keisha was not seen.

I did not respond to Mas Adji's words.

"I was just carried away by emotions. I'm not used to seeing you with other men."

I smiled cynically.

"You're angry, are you?" Adji did not answer.

"If that's all you're angry about then what if you were me? Can you imagine how I felt at that time? When I found you with that girl?"

"I know I was wrong, don't talk about it again. It's already passed. Now I realize I can't see you with another man."

"I can be with anyone I want. I'm not your wife anymore! You can be with someone else why can't I?"

"I want to be with you again Win, I can't part with you."

"Your mother is married!!! It's so good you said you wanted to be with me again?!!"

"I'll divorce Eva after her son is born Win ... I just want to be with you." Mas Adji walked over to me.

"Don't mention that pela*ur in my house!!! And don't assume I can forget your mistakes!!!"

Suddenly, Kirana's voice cries from inside the room and Mas Adji immediately runs towards Kirana's voice. I ran after Mas Adji, afraid he would do something I didn't want to do to Kirana.

Arriving inside Mas Adji's room immediately grabbed Kirana's body and carried her.

"Unfortunately Papa is awake ... " Mas Adji kissed Kirana's face and Kirana stopped crying. He looked at the man who was carrying him and his tiny hands fumbled at Mas Adji's face.

I'm so moved to see it. Kirana seemed to miss the figure of father. Never before had he woken up there was his papa beside him, and this was his first time.

At the same time Keisha went into the room.

"Are you ready for Kei?" ask Mas Adji. "Wait a minute, baby ... Papa still misses the same, papa wants to carry him longer."

The happy face that Keisha had just shown slowly faded away changed into a moody one.

"Why Kei? Afraid of being late for school? Yes already ... Papa deliver now." Mas Adji was about to hand Kirana over to me.

"No, No Pa ... Papa gendong adek used to be okay," replied Keisha with a gloomy face.

"Keisha is late for school, too. Not going to school is okay if papa still wants to be here with us."

My heart seemed to be slipping at Keisha's words. With teary eyes he continued speaking.

"Why did you break up with Mama and get married again? Me and adek often no friends if Mama is still at the stall. If there used to be a father who accompanied, now just the same mother sometimes the same grandmother."

Keisha's words made me feel guilty, my eyes glazed over. This farewell is not only me who is hurt, but my son too.

"Don't you want us to be like we used to be?"

And again Keisha's words made me feel more guilty. As hard as I could, I held back my tears from dripping in front of Keisha. He doesn't understand, I'm the one who doesn't want to come back like he used to be.

"Why can't you stay here again with us?"

Mas Adji looked at me, our eyes met. I could see that Mas Adji was also restraining himself from crying. Then he gave Kirana to me and approached Keisha.

"Keisha is going to school? Yuk ... Papa interracial now ... It's gonna be late."

"Keisha doesn't want to go to school ... "

"Continue?"

"Keisha wants to be at home playing with papa equally adek. Same mom too. "

"Can't dong darling ... Papa has to work. Tomorrow is Kei ... Tomorrow if papa's holiday papa promises we'll spend time together."

"Mama's mom too?"

Mas Adji turned his head towards me hearing Keisha's question.

"Where is Ma ... ? Mama want to go out tomorrow Sunday for a walk together?" ask Mas Adji to me like when we were married. It seems like he wants to take advantage of this opportunity to come back to me.

I looked at Keisha who was also looking at me expectantly. I finally nodded. I can't refuse Mas Adji's invitation because I can't bear to see Keisha's face.

"Horeee ... !!!" excitement. "Promise me?"

"Yes ... Papa promise!"

"Yuk yuk ... Now go to school."

Keisha nodded. His happy face returned. Before leaving Mas Adji again kissed Kirana and made the little one in my arms laugh with joy.

"Papa go first .. "give Mas Adji to Kirana then kiss her cheek once again.

"I go first Win ... " I just nodded.

After the departure of Mas Adji and Keisha, my heart was shrouded in deep guilt. Keisha's words ring in my ear. The look on her face that showed how much she wished her papa would stay here with us, made me feel like I was the most selfish mother in the world.

Not to mention Kirana who since birth never felt the affection of a father. Never felt sleep in his arms.

Is it true that my decision to part with Mas Adji was the right one? Or should I go back to her and sacrifice my own feelings for my children?