Forced to endure

Chapter 24

Now

I walked away from the group of women who acted like socialites. Rumbles filled my chest.

Everyone respected me when my husband was successful. I have never been insulted like this. I don't even have to worry about money. But now?

I can't believe my presence at this show is just to be humiliated. But it is not shame that I feel, but anger.

I didn't expect Likha to do that to me. We used to be really close, and just because I have nothing now, her attitude towards me has changed drastically. And now he's close to Eva too? Eva did not join this group. Are they conspiring to antagonize me?

"Even someone's financial condition affects other people's attitude toward you, your best friend is no exception. Crazy right?" I talked to myself as I went down the restaurant stairs. Maybe this is how I vent my anger.

I kept walking and no longer wanted to look back, the place where people without empathy were sitting. Whether they want to cheer me up or talk about me any further, I don't care.

Why didn't I realize they were just memorizing me. Every time I go out to eat, I'm the one who pays for everything. And look at their attitude to me now!

My decision is round. Why continue to associate with people who do not have a positive influence? Leave it alone, it's just a waste of time and money.

Arriving at home I intend to immediately lock myself in the room. But Mas Adji who was watching TV in the living room apparently Mas Adji realized my arrival.

"How fast is Win? Is that not the Arisannya?"

"Oh ... I'm just depositing money and going home" I replied.

"I'm going to go to bed, Mas, tired." I passed by leaving Mas Adji before he asked any more questions.

Arriving at the room I did not go straight to sleep, that was just my reason to avoid Mas Adji. How could I possibly sleep with this feeling?

I lay my body on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I didn't feel my tears coming, I didn't know what I was crying about.

...****************...

Adji POVs

I was a little surprised to see Winda coming home. Usually he feels at home spending time with his fellow tourists.

"How fast is Win? Is it not his vision?"

"Oh ... I just keep putting money back home."

I haven't spoken yet, Winda wants to sleep. I can't ban it even though I know there's no way that Winda's sleeping at this hour, it's not even eight at night. I just wanted to say that Ms. RT was looking for her but I didn't dare.

The look on the face of Winda I don't know. Between sad, angry, and tired. I know something must have happened. Maybe he needs some time to himself.

I was actually worried about her, just like my mother-in-law. I'm afraid of the stress. He's getting shut up and avoiding me. The barrier between us I feel is getting higher.

I finally decided to follow Linda to her room. Keisha was staying at my in-laws' house. So maybe it's time to talk to him.

"Win ... I want to talk for a minute" I said, knocking on the door. After a while there was no answer, so I just opened the door.

Winda was lying on the bed, with eyes staring blankly at the ceiling of the room. He didn't even realize I was standing by his bed.

"Win ... "

Winda was surprised to see me. He immediately woke up and wiped his tears.

"So I knocked on the door, but you didn't hear."

Again tears. Even just by watching her cry I had already lost the strength to speak. And for the umpteenth time I felt I was the most useless man in the world.

"I want to talk to you for a minute." I sat right next to Winda who was still trying to clean up the rest of her tears.

"I don't know where to start ... " I hesitated to continue my sentence.

"Talk about Mas ... Say what you want to say."

I took a deep breath before continuing my sentence.

"We're still Win's husband and wife. Now I can't support you, I can't be the husband you deserve but I'm still your husband."

"You can be mad at me, you can hate me for all my mistakes. Everything that happened to you, everything that you have to go through this ... I know all this because of my fault, I'm the cause. I want to apologize to you, Win."

I could not hold back my tears. I can't hide my tears from her anymore. Let him see that I am fragile, for I am no longer able to pretend that it is okay when I am so ashamed that I have been a burden for several months. He suffered a lot because of me.

Winda silently listened without looking at me.

"If you still want a divorce from me then I'll grant it Win .." I said.

Winda remained silent not responding. He just looked down with a blank look.

"You can take care of everything, you can say that the reason we divorced was because there was another woman. I'll admit it. I ... I was with Eva."

My tears are flowing more and more. I threw away my prestige and pride because I already had no self-esteem in front of Vinda.

Winda is still silent. There was no expression on his face. And I became more and more worried about his mental state.

"You can do anything to me if it can heal your heartache. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for you."

I dropped my body on the floor and rested in front of Vinda. I took his hand and looked into his eyes.

"I'm not begging to be given another chance to stay with you. I just want you to heal from your heartache. I want you to go back to being the old Winda. And if you get divorced from me you can go back to what you used to be, then I'll divorce you right now."

"I'm sincere Win, not because I don't love you anymore, not because I don't want to be with you. But because I can't see you suffer more with me. You have sacrificed your life for me. I just want you to be happy." My voice is getting hoarse from crying.

And finally a clear circle dripped from the cheeks of Winda, the more swift accompanied by Winda who grabbed my body and embraced me. Finally she was crying in my arms. For a while we were in sadness. We both cried on our own excuses until Winda finally let go of his embrace.

"We will not divorce Mas .. "he said as soon as our eyes meet again.

"Are you sure Win? Have you forgiven me?" I can't believe it. Winda just nodded.

I grabbed Winda's body and I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Win, thank you you for forgiving me." My tears kept dripping but this time tears of happiness. I let go of my embrace and I looked into Winda's eyes.

"Smiling is Win, I haven't seen you smile at me in a long time."

And with a little force, Winda wants to smile at me. I smiled and looked at her and wiped her tears, and she wiped my tears.

"Sit here Mas ... " Winda patted the empty spot beside her, where I had previously sat.

"Tell me how you can relate to Eva ... "

"Win ... ???"