Forced to endure

Chapter 63

I ran towards the parking lot. I immediately mauked into the car leaving Indra who was trying to chase me. I immediately hit the gas without saying goodbye first with Indra.

Mas Adji is so outrageous. How could he say that to me. Did I not take good care of my child all this time? Did he forget he was the one who forgot his responsibilities as a parent? Does going out with a man get called crawling? Is it because I'm a mother that I can only stay at home with my children other than work?

I wanted to go home after eating with my senses, but I changed my mind. I can't go home with emotions. I drove my car slowly looking for a quiet place to calm down.

And here I stop, in front of the shophouse. I opened the windshield and breathed free air. I daydreamed while staring at the shophouse that some days I often visit.

I don't feel my tears dripping. My chest feels tight. The words that Mas Adji said to me were quite painful. Long time I pegged in the car, contemplating why my fate could be like this.

"You really like this shophouse huh?" suddenly Indra's voice shocked me. He stood up and leaned his body in my car.

I wiped my tears. "Why are you here?" Then I got out of the car.

"I don't know where Win is going. Someone left me in the parking lot of the mall and I don't know where to go. So I'm here."

Indra answered my question while looking at the shophouse. I did not know what special this shophouse was until Indra and I spent time looking at it.

"Oh ... I'm sorry I left you and left without saying goodbye."

I leaned my body on the car just like Indra did.

"Are you okay?"

I'm silent. Unexpectedly Indra grabbed my face then wiped the remaining tears in the corners of my eyes.

"You can tell me if you want to."

I'm still mute. This chest felt increasingly claustrophobic, eager to say I was fine but my throat was choked. It is hard to get one word out. My eyes are back in tears.

Indra turned her body back to me.

"Crying ... I'll close my eyes if you don't want anyone to see you cry."

Without waiting twice I immediately leaned my head on Indra's back. My tears are flowing. I'm not okay, it's never been okay since I found out Mas Adji betrayed me.

I was strong to this extent, I endured even the hardships I faced made me stronger. But when will I face the problems caused by Mas Adji? There are times when I get bored and want to give up, but what about my children if I give up?

Mas Adji's words kept ringing in my ears and made me feel guilty. How can Mas Adji question my responsibility towards children if every step I take I think of is my children? I survived with him also because of the child, even I became strong also because of the child. But Mas Adji's words seemed to give the impression that I was a bad mother to my children.

When I am satisfied with crying, I wipe my tears. I breathe deeply.

"Thank you" I told Indra.

Then he turned his body and we were both facing each other.

I smiled even though my eyes couldn't hide. At least I can act like nothing happened.

The atmosphere became a little awkward.

Then I turned my eyes to the shophouse, as did Indra.

"You can start moving your stuff here Win ... No need to wait for repayment."

"Can't you?"

"You wait till your car does, right?"

I'm nodding.

"You don't have to sell the car and apply for a loan to the bank. You are lacking in me every month. Or you save your money first, later if it has been collected so recently you leave it to me. It's the same, right?"

"Can it be like that? I'm not good with you Ndra. It will be long ago to be paid off."

I was weighing Indra's offer. It's very profitable for me.

"Why are you good to me? Aren't you afraid I'm tricking you? We've only met a few times."

"Now I've met you a few times now Win ... We met almost every day. I still see you in my dreams."

I laugh.

"Russia ... Stop wooing me!"

"Well ... Laughing like that, isn't it pretty?"

"Don't call me beautiful anymore. I could lose my concentration." I laughed again.

"So how? You accept my offer?"

I'm nodding. "Thank you good man."

Indra nodded. We both looked back at the shop.

"You know Win ...? I used to think that as I got older everything got easier. But it turns out I was wrong. The older the age gets more complicated. More and more problems. It is no longer energy that is drained, but thoughts and feelings."

"Everything is not what we imagined. I think marrying the person we love is a guarantee we will live happily .. It is not," I said.

The mood became quiet.

"It's night ... I'd better go home." Indra nodded, at a glance I saw his face moody.

I was about to get into the car but Indra grabbed my hand.

"Give me a chance. I want us to be together."

...****************...

Adji POVs

At home my mood is still chaotic. My thoughts are only the Winda and the Winda.

"Mas ... What the hell are you?" Eva began to dare to talk after earlier in the car she was silent a thousand languages.

"The girl has become your ex-wife! It's not your nobody! He wants what it's up to him, it's none of your business! You don't have to interfere!"

I ignored Eva who started babbling in front of me.

"All you have to think about now is me and your future son!"

"Shut up!" my snapping.

"Mah ...!!! Even if you don't love me at least appreciate me! Somehow you feel to me I'm still your wife!" Eva dared to reply with a shout.

"I've been trying to be patient with your attitude towards me all this time, but I've been sick of it for a long time! I am not a woman like Vinda but I have feelings too! If you continue like this I will leave you!!"

"I wonder how strong Willa can be your wife for so many years?! While I've only been a few months it doesn't feel strong!!!"

"If I were a Sire I would be so grateful to have divorced you!!!" Eva stared intently at me.

"Please if you want to go, I won't get in the way!" my answer was accompanied by laughter. He thinks I'm afraid of losing him.

"Why are you laughing! You think if you part with me Willa will take you back? I tell you one thing ... Will definitely think thousands of times to come back with you!!! I'm a fool sorry to have married you, let alone Vinda!!!"