Forced to endure

Chapter 16

Adji POVs

I can't remember how long I've been sick. It feels like it's been months, a long time. I still do not understand why my disease is not cured when all the drugs I have been taking.

From the outside it looks fine but every time my foot steps on the floor it feels like stepping on hundreds of very sharp spines, it hurts a lot. I couldn't walk because I couldn't stand the pain.

I began to think that this was karma for my actions behind Vinda.

I began to despair of this disease. But Mas Arya keeps encouraging me if I'm sure to get well. He's so considerate of me. Only he still watches me. I can't let her down. I can't give up. I also don't want to trouble Winda forever.

Although Vinda always took care of me and served me, but I know she did not do it as sincerely as her heart. He's still cold to me, but at least he's been talking more than ever. I dared to ask if he was still angry with me, and of course the answer was "yes".

I wonder why women are so angry. If I'm the one who's angry, then he's just a sling in my arm has gone my rage. But this why for two months or so he was still angry?

But apparently, my question reminded Winda of my attitude towards her all this time. He brought back my mistakes. But this time she screamed and cried hysterically.

He poured out all his heart and then I realized, I've been outrageous all this time. I've hurt her so much, I've wasted her.

Oh my God ... Why haven't I noticed all this time? All this time he's been quiet because he's fed up with me. He tried to hold on to me but I made a fatal mistake.

One night I heard someone knocking on the door. I screamed from my room telling the man to come in because I couldn't go forward to open the door and Winda wasn't home either. I think it must be my neighbor there needs to be with Winda, or maybe my mother-in-law.

Somehow the story goes, Eva suddenly stood before me. He was the one who knocked on the door. I glared in disbelief at seeing him in front of my eyes, let alone seeing his clothes. This heart swished to see it. Undeniably, Eva looks very sexy. My mind drifted somewhere.

I just regretted what I did to Vinda but as soon as I saw Eva I forgot everything. I can't seem to control myself in front of Eva. I don't want it but I can't refuse it either.

I immediately asked her for her needs as soon as my consciousness returned. Honestly, the two almost-visible spherical mounds of Eva kept grabbing my attention and making me waver. Especially since the fight that night before I got sick, Winda refused to have sex with me.

Without hesitation Eva immediately sat on the edge of my bed, without even letting me leave. He said the point of his arrival was to visit me. I wonder in my heart, does he need to see me?

I have nothing to do with him. Just a "transaction" at that time. There's no feeling whatsoever. Shouldn't it be finished there?

We talked for a while. I tried so hard to remind myself not to be tempted. Until I heard the sound of Winda's motorcycle and I was sure my fate was on the edge.

Sure enough, Winda went straight into the room. He looked surprised and his face flushed. I know he's holding back anger. For a while Winda just silently pecked, looking at me and Eva alternately.

"Am I interrupting?" the first sentence came out of his lips. I was surprised to hear it. It's not like the Winda I know.

The old Vinda would instantly show her fangs as soon as she saw me with the woman she suspected had a certain purpose to me. But this, she looks different. I knew he was angry, but he kept a friendly face. This feels creepy to me.

And Eva, why doesn't she just leave and get out of here? Why did he even serve the questions of Winda. I tried to distract Winda but she ignored him. I'm getting worried that Eva will get caught up in the questions that Winda asks and make me unable to dodge anymore.

Without him asking I would explain if I didn't know why Eva would get here. I also explained if he just wanted to see me. And of course the Winda doesn't believe it.

He became so blurry, just like he used to be when he was jealous. I don't know why Winda's anger this time makes me happy. I'm sure he's jealous. That means there's still love for me.

I kept quiet and kept looking at him. I let him get angry as he pleased. I enjoy it, this is my Wind.

...****************...

Lately I've seen Winda often moody. I don't know what he's thinking but he certainly seems to have a burden. He was now more silent, never telling me his problem. Talk only as necessary with me.

I'm starting to think that maybe Winda is thinking about me. Maybe I was the burden he was thinking about. Who else is it?

One day my co-worker came home. He told me that the company had officially laid off me. I'm not surprised. I know the rules. I've been inactive for a few months in the company so I know this is definitely happening.

My friend also told me that the car that I used all this time would be pulled back by the company. If that's the rule, what can I do?

After my friend's departure, Winda went into the room to give me my medicine.

"That's your last medicine, Mas, we don't have the money to buy it. We don't even have the money to buy daily necessities" he said.

I looked at the medicine. An expensive drug that he said could cure me but it turned out to be nothing.

Oh ... I never even asked Winda about our financial situation. What else have I missed? Am I being too selfish about my recovery to not think about our finances?

It's so tight my chest feels. I really feel useless. Where are my responsibilities as a husband and head of the household? I have become a burden to Linda.

I handed the envelope containing severance money from the company to the hand of Winda. No. I reduced it a little. Winda has more right to use it.

With weight I tell you where the money came from and also the problem of the car that will be pulled back by the company.

For the umpteenth time I apologized to Winda, but this time it felt different. It's hard to apologize when you realize your mistakes may not be forgiven. I've hurt her, betrayed her love, and now I can only trouble her.

If only I had followed Vinda's request to leave those intoxicating drinks, if only I had not been tempted by my friends' persuasion none of this would have happened. Sorry this is useless.

Willa left me speechless. I know he's been hit hard. And I can't go after him.

I could only cry regretting my situation. Has my heart been so broken that I am insensitive to what Vinda is facing?