Forced to endure

Chapter 23

I received my first salary. The first thing I did with my salary was to continue therapy for Mas Adji, anyway Mas Adji should get well soon, period. After that, Keisha's school fees, the rest is for daily shopping. And it turned out that just getting there, my salary was up.

I did not dare to borrow money from my mother. Besides because my debt to mother is enough, mother also has to bear Keisha's pocket money. I feel so unsure if I still borrow money from my mom.

That's okay, what matters is that the stock is safe for the next month.

I'm leaving for work this morning. I tried to start my bike but it didn't work and I know why, no fuel. I went back inside the house to put the keys to the bike.

"Is there anything missing?" Mas Adji's voice surprised me.

"Oh ... I'm gonna put the keys to the bike. I'll just ride a bike."

"Tumbens?"

I don't answer, if I answer I don't have the money to buy fuel maybe Mas Adji won't go to therapy anymore.

Then I took out the bike that used to be used by Mas Adji cycling with his friends. This bike has not been used for a long time, the price may be equivalent to my motorcycle.

I finally got on my bike. I don't care about my neighbors looking at me with pity and some with a mocking look, whatever. I'm not ashamed.

I also still sell online even though I have not shown results. Usually, after finishing my homework, I focus on my phone to advertise my merchandise.

...****************...

Time passes very quickly. I feel my body getting lighter. My clothes also felt more loose. I was shocked when I weighed almost thirteen kilos.

Maybe because I always ride a bike and I also never bring supplies at work. I rarely eat at home. A day twice is enough, before work and after work. The principle of my frugal life has begun to sacrifice myself.

During the break I endured my hunger by playing mobile and offering merchandise in cyberspace.

I don't pay much attention to how I look so I don't really care about my weight. All I have in mind is money and money, how can I make money.

"Sir, when did my pesenan come?" Shanti welcomed me with questions.

"New tomorrow comes. You can get it tomorrow because I sent it to the store."

Shanti became my loyal customer. Sometimes she would order clothes for her friends.

"Later if the gymnastics group in my village want to buy uniforms, I ordered in Mbak Winda aja. There is no doubt about it."

I smiled at Shanti's words.

"Yes, later if I give a lot of commission," I replied

"Usually in the village there are many groups of mothers tuh, arisan, studies, pkk, gymnastics, posyandu many right? Try to bargain."

Shanti smiled back at my words. We continued working while talking. I did not expect that this innocent-looking Shanti had such a broad mind and could see an opportunity. He was used to living alone without a partner. His independence made me change my perspective on the problems I was facing.

I think Shanti is the one I talk to the most. At home I only talked as necessary with Mas Adji, with my mother as well. I was too embarrassed for my mother.

My mother was like hearing the suffering and misery of every word that came out of my mouth. So I better shut up. Just looking into my mother's eyes I didn't dare, afraid she'd see more from my eyes.

My phone is shaking, there's an incoming message. I caught a glimpse of it, who knows if there are orders coming in. But it turned out to be a message from my arisan group. I have been absent for a long time because I was busy with taking care of Mas Adji. I ignored the suddenly crowded Arisan group.

"Mrs, tomorrow night Sunday can come yes. The message is at restaurant XX."

Maybe this person realized that I was never active in the group or in meetings.

"Will I work." I reply briefly.

I closed my phone, though it kept shaking. They must be talking about clothes and such for later. I used to be probably going with the frenzy like them. Think about what clothes I'm going to wear, which bags, which shoes.

Even if I told Mas Adji I didn't have any clothes to wear to the gravestone, he gave me money to buy a new one.

My phone continued to vibrate until it long interfered with my concentration.

Did I just come? I haven't been with my friends for a long time.

A fella? I thought back to Likha. The friend who was talking about me behind my back. After that time I never saw him again. If I come to Arisan, I'll meet him.

Why bother thinking about such a thing. It's still a few days.

Adji POVs

The more I feel sorry for seeing Winda. He looks so exhausted. I tried my best to help her by doing the homework I could.

One morning I saw Winda stop using his motorcycle for work. He said he wanted to ride a bike but I'm sure it was a lie. Ever since her weight went up, she really didn't like riding bikes. I think maybe the bike got stuck because it was not serviced for a long time.

Every time I see Winda miserable I then look at my feet. All because of me.

"Have you eaten Adji?" ask my mother-in-law. He's driving Keisha home.

"Had Ma'am, this morning Winda had cooked."

"Minda changed a lot yeah ... " My mother-in-law started talking seriously. I know which way this conversation is going. I quietly listened.

"Now be quiet. His face used to be sad if now more moody. Once upon a time, no one could stop. Now, talk if anyone talks first. If not, just shut up with a rich statue."

I'm still quiet. Don't know how to respond to my in-laws.

"Mbok yes if there is a problem that is a story, do not be harbored yourself. I know you're in financial trouble. I can tell you mom, your mom and dad will help. Although the mother does not have much money, but if for the children of the grandchildren must try."

My mother-in-law is very nice. He treated me like his real son, just like he treated Vinda.

"It's all an ordeal, it's called life up and down. Don't think too much. You two have to be patient."

"Yes Ma'am ... "

"You please tell Winda to be patient, Adji. I can't talk directly to him. I felt like I was avoiding my mother. I'm afraid she's stressed because she's quiet."

Again, I was reminded that everything was because of me. If only my mother-in-law knew that Winda had changed not because of this financial storm, but because of my behavior.

"You are also Adji, you must be eager to heal. Don't give up."

"Yes Ma'am ... "