Forced to endure

Chapter 20

I was finally able to get my body back in my bed after four days in the hospital. This morning the doctor let Keisha go home.

Mas Adji welcomed our return with a hopeful face. As soon as he entered the house he immediately hugged me and Keisha.

I don't know what Mas Adji was thinking, but I felt his embrace so warm and sincere. I could see the happiness in his eyes when I saw the two of us.

During Keisha's time at Mas Adji's hospital, he did not visit Keisha at all. It doesn't matter to me, I can understand the situation.

I focused on waiting for Keisha at the hospital and it was her mother who took care of all Mas Adji's needs at home. I wonder where Mas Adji's family is, no one has visited Keisha or just asked how he is. But yeah, that's it. Maybe they no longer consider Mas Adji as their family. Consider my husband a kara.

I sat down on the sofa after taking care of the dirty clothes I had brought from the hospital. I don't have to be tired of cleaning the house because mom already did it.

Mom ... what would I be without you.

Mas Adji walked with his cane up to me, then he sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry Win, I can't replace you keeping Keisha in the hospital."

"Here you go, we both know your condition. What matters is that Keisha is healed."

The situation became awkward. Then we both fell silent. My mind drifted somewhere.

"Win ... Sire ... "

Mas Adji's voice resuscitated me.

"You're daydreaming a lot now. Tell me Win. Don't be alone," said Mas Adji softly.

I'm still quiet.

"Maybe I can't help, but at least telling me about your problem can make you feel better."

I looked at Mas Adji's face. I really miss this guy. The resentment and anger that once filled my heart slowly receded, changing with pity. My desire to part with him began to fade even though I could not forgive him.

After all, this man beside me was my choice. He was willing to accept me for who I am. He is just a normal person who can make mistakes. And I am also an ordinary human whose feelings can change and sometimes plan. So maybe I will try to forget his mistakes and also forgive him.

"Win ... "

Mas Adji came back to wake me up from the daydream, then I turned my face away from Mas Adji.

"You're all right? You better take a break. Maybe you're tired."

"I used the rest of the money we had for Keisha's hospital expenses. I also borrowed money from mom because I still haven't had enough." I finally expressed my thoughts.

"It's okay Win, later if I'm healthy I'll go back to work. I'll pay off our debt to mom."

"But you can't continue therapy because our money is up."

Mas Adji breathed a heavy sigh.

"It's okay. I should have apologized to you. As a husband I cannot support you, meet your needs. I've caused you and Keisha to suffer and live a life of deprivation. I can't take care of you and Keisha."

Mas Adji's voice was getting heavier.

"I go to the room first ... "

For the umpteenth time Mas Adji left me alone without even looking at me. Could he be disappointed that he could not continue therapy?

...****************...

I paused my intention to go to Mas Adji's room because I heard him talking to his mother on the phone.

"Mom didn't see Keisha?"

" ... "

" ... "

"I've not worked for a long time, Mom, if I've worked again, I'll give you monthly money as usual."

" ... "

"Can't you take a minute to look at Keisha?"

" ... "

"Mother ... Hello ... "

I was silent at the door of Mas Adji's room listening to Mas Adji and his mother's conversation over the phone. I waited for a while and did not hear Mas Adji speak anymore.

I made sure Mas Adji was done talking to his mother and then I knocked on his door.

"Evening is ready. Do you want to eat in your room or at the dinner table?" I shouted from behind the door. I asked that because I was used to delivering Mas Adji's food to the room.

"On the dinner table Win, you guys go first. I'll join in" he replied without opening the door.

After a while Mas Adji joined me and Keisha at the dinner table. Mas Adji stroked Keisha's hair before sitting down.

"Papa's son is healed?"

Keisha nodded and smiled looking at her papa.

"Is Papa's eye red?"

"Oh ... It's Papa washing his face, maybe getting soap." Mas Adji reasoned.

"I'm sorry Papa ya Kei, Papa can't accompany Keisha as long as Keisha is hospitalized."

"Nothing Pa, Papa is also sick. There was a mother who took care of Keisha. It should be Keisha who apologizes to Papa."

"Kok Keisha apologized?"

"Because Keisha's sick, mommy can't take care of papa. Mama left papa at home alone because she had to take care of Keisha."

I could see Mas Adji's eyes glazed over after hearing Keisha's reply.

"And there is a grandmother with a grandfather, so papa is not alone" Mas Adji replied in a raucous voice.

After dinner, we spent time with Keisha playing. After that, we went to our rooms to sleep. Mas Adji went to his room and I went to Keisha's room.

...****************...

I circled around the city carrying a map containing job applications. From one factory to another factory I have tried but the results are nil. It is difficult to get a job now.

After noon, I finally decided to go home. But I didn't give up. Tomorrow I'll try again. I can't give up, for Keisha's sake.

I stopped by the convenience store near the house for a sanitary pad because I was on my way to the moon. I've not had a pregnancy-preventing injection so my periods are smooth.

I did not do it on purpose because I had not been in a husband-wife relationship with Mas Adji for months, so there was no point in my opinion.

I walked straight to the sanitary napkin shelf and chose the cheapest sanitary pad. After that I paid at the cashier.

When I was about to get out of the store I accidentally saw a paper that read "job vacancies" stuck on the door. Maybe I was in a hurry when I came in and didn't notice. I also went back to the cashier table to ask for the vacancy in which the writing was intended.

The cashier explained that the store is opening a vacancy for one person as a shopkeeper. In my spirit I told the cashier if I wanted to register, I happened to have also brought a cover letter.

But the cashier suggested going back tomorrow and meeting the store owner in person. I also agree to his advice.

I left the shop feeling relieved. Either tomorrow the shopkeeper will accept me or not, but at least I have a little hope.