Forced to endure

Chapter 17

Adji POVs

Lately I feel my legs are a little better. Although it still hurts to retrace, but it does not feel as painful as before. Maybe it's because of the therapy I've had this month.

Every night I practiced walking with auxiliary tools. And this morning I'm going to surprise two of my beloved women that I can walk.

Slowly I stepped out of the room, still assisted by the support tools on my left and right.

I could hear Winda talking to Keisha in the dining room. I walked closer to those who were not aware of my presence.

"No need to Kei ... Papa just eat here," I said breaking up the conversation between the two of them.

The two of them turned towards me at the same time. Keisha was so happy to see me walking.

I'm so moved to see it. This little girl I used to ignore is now my only friend. He was the one who always accompanied me through my days.

In my heart I promise to give my world only to him if I recover later. I will pay all the debts of attention and affection that I have never given to her. I'll pay you many times everything.

I've heard the phrase "a woman's first love is her father", then I'll be my daughter's first love.

My eyes began to tear up just by seeing how happy Keisha was to see me walking. Several times he jumped up in excitement like he had just gotten a gift that he liked so much.

Then my gaze turned to Winda who had been watching me since.

"Win ... I've been able to walk Win .. "I said to Winda. I smiled but my eyes also glazed at the same time.

I wanted to walk over and hug her, telling her how grateful I was to her. But I'm afraid he's rejecting me.

Winda smiled back at me, a sincere smile that I had not seen for a long time. For a moment our eyes met.

She was smiling, but her eyes could not lie. His eyes showed pain and hurt. And once again I realized, I was the cause. Before long our eyes met, Winda immediately turned his gaze in the other direction.

I immediately invited the two of them to eat to dispel the awkward atmosphere between us. Keisha's expression changed drastically as soon as he saw the food on the table.

"Ma ... We eat fried chicken sometime. Keisha hasn't eaten chicken for a long time." That was the word that came out of Keisha's lips. I was stunned to hear that.

Did I not hear wrong? I glanced at Winda. I haven't seen her face yet, she's already standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

"Eat this first yuk, this is also delicious," I told Keisha. He followed my words and began to eat.

My eyes continued to watch Winda while eating. Although from where I sit now I can only see his back, but I see clearly the body of Winda vibrates. Winda is crying.

"Ma ... The milk hasn't?" asked Keisha who then made me turn my attention to Keisha.

After a while Winda came and put a cup of tea in front of Keisha. He said he forgot not to buy milk for her which was followed by a protest by Keisha because from yesterday Winda had not also bought her milk.

I kept watching Winda from the tail of my eyes. I know he's lying. There's no way Winda forgot to buy milk for Keisha.

How long have I not eaten at the dinner table and how many things have I missed? I feel like I'm nobody in this house. I don't know what's going on in my own house.

Winda was dropping off Keisha at school, while I was alone in the living room. What will be our next fate if my feet don't heal? Why did Winda not tell me if our financial condition was morat-marit like this? Did she really not consider me her husband?

I heard the door open. That must be Winda coming home from taking Keisha. Apparently he came in through the side door so he didn't know I was here. Soon I stood to see him. I want to talk to him.

Arriving in the kitchen I found Winda crying as much as she could on the floor. My heart is sliced to see it. I kept watching him from where I was standing and I didn't feel like I was shedding any tears. Why do you carry this burden alone? Why didn't you tell me? Isn't all this because of me?

For a moment I was silent and did not dare to approach. I myself need to calm my feelings so as not to look pitiful in front of Vinda. After my heart calmed down I walked over to him.

"What's Win?" I stopped her crying.

He looked up at me for a while then wiped his tears. Then he stood up and walked towards the chair. He knows I can't sit on the floor like he is now.

After the two of us were both sitting in chairs, he started telling us everything, the financial problems we were facing. He looks depressed too.

"We'll sell my bike Win. I never used it. There's still your bike for you to go everywhere." That's the only solution I have in my head.

But apparently selling a motorbike was just enough to pay for Keisha's school fees and daily necessities shopping. Winda is still thinking about how my next medical expenses will be.

I was slapped back by guilt. After everything I did to her, Winda was still thinking about my recovery, even when our condition was this difficult. He really is an angel that I have wasted.

With a heavy heart I told him to stop my therapy. For me now Keisha is the most important. Don't let her future be taken away because of me.

Linda looked at me doubtfully. It would be a pity if my therapy was stopped given the progress I had made. But I won't sacrifice Keisha for myself.

"I'll be back to work."

I was a little surprised to hear the words of Linda. Never thought of me before.

"Why are you silent? Do you mind?"

Not that I mind. I asked him to stop working because I thought I could meet all his needs. But now I have to swallow because I can't do anything.

Finally, I leave it to Winda. I can't stop him from working, we need money to get on with life.

I left Winda alone and went back to my room. I did not dare to look at her face because of the shame I felt.

Finally my tears broke out in solitude. I feel like I'm the most useless man in the world.

My pride as a man is shattered to see my wife crying out for lack. I who used to always feel proud to be able to meet all his needs now can only hide and cry lamenting fate.

Where's family? Where's my brothers? There was only the Winda who accompanied me when I could do nothing.

Today should be a happy day because I can walk again. But the truth is the opposite.