First Love & Best Friends
Forty One
September arrived, but my Work Practice activities continued. While my college has started to enter also with 5th semester status. In September, my activity became a double. That is from morning until noon Work Practice, noon until the afternoon continues college. I did this until a month later. Although tired of whack, but this is my struggle in college.
Not felt, it was entering the end of the month. Exactly this is September 28, 2012. On Friday I did not follow the Work Practice Activity, because there was a morning lecture and as usual until the afternoon, because in this semester I also repeated my course. Not to mention the middle of preparing the report on the results of Work Practices.
Tonight, I was the one who was unwinded by watching tv. Because it's home at 17:30. Yes, it feels very tired tonight and drowsiness has stopped.
While watching tv, I got an SMS from Okta.
Eneng..... What else are you?
I who had been busy watching tv had not realized there would be an SMS from Okta. As I reached for the phone, I smiled reading a message received from Okta. I'll get the message back soon.
Watching tv again, hehee....
You alone again what neng?
I'll send Okta another message soon. Not long after, Okta replied to my message again.
Just sleep again
What else are you watching tv for?
I'll reply immediately and I'll send it to Okta again. And we're starting to get excited about SMSan ria. I who had been focusing on watching tv, even more focused on SMS from Okta.
The feeling of pleasure turned to surprise as Okta replied to my SMS again.
Neng, I'm sorry about that earlier
It's not my intention to ruin our friendship
Fabian shot me with a cloud number
But I haven't answered Fabian's SMS.
Belief in disbelief lingered in my heart. For some reason, what I used to be suddenly I felt my eyes immediately glazed over. Little by little those tears unknowingly spilled on the cheeks and began to get wet on the cheeks.
The pain, pain, and feeling of being dropped a second time with Fabian's hypnotic attitude. Yes, I realized that I was hypnotized by her smile and attitude all along. “Mi, be patient with your heart. Maybe Fabian isn't the nice guy you thought” said slowly while calming my feelings of anxiety.
But the truth is, my tears are spilling a lot. I don't even know what else to do. It really hurts my heart and I feel like I lost that good Fabian. “Yes Allah, what is this thing called heartbreak? My heart hurts so” murmured that I still can't believe the story from Okta.
Holding back my tears, I replied to Okta's message again.
Neng, when did Fabian shoot you?
After I sent it to Okta. Shortly after, Okta replied again.
Yes, Fabian shot me
It's just that the Clouds are angry with me because Fabian shot me
Patience with neng...
Udah, you focus on your practice work report.
After reading the message from Okta, it still feels speechless. The feeling of pain, pain, and heartache is still very much mourning in my heart. Memories after memories that used to be sweet, as if broken into fragments that might be impossible to put together again. I'm afraid and afraid of how I feel now.
Fortunately, tomorrow there is an event on campus, so my sadness is a little treated by joining the class.
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A week...
A month....
Two months......
It did take a long time to accept this harsh reality from Fabian. It feels really broken my heart right now.
As time passes, my hatred for Fabian is gone. That hate didn't last long and it's stupid of me to have the principle of knowing Fabian all over again. Like this morning when I feel saturated, because my SMS friend Okta is busy being a New Student. Suddenly there is a desire to SMS Fabian just ask for news.
Immediately I sent a message to Fabian.
Hy Fab....you how are you?
Busy work now?
When I sent the message to Fabian, it turned out that the number was still valid. Yeah, ever since I was heartbroken about it, I don't text Fabian anymore. Even though I know what the risk is after sending this message to her.
A few hours later, it turned out that Fabian was responding to my short message. While holding back my feelings, I opened a message from Fabian and I read it.
Alhmdulillah, good news.
Yes, busy work
Continue later, yes
After reading the message from Fabian, I immediately replied to him.
Yes, Fab, it's okay.
Sorry to bother you
Later in the afternoon I also have a lecture
After replying to a message from Fabian. My feelings are getting worse. Yes, my feelings are ordinary and even hurt. “It still hurts once it turns out my heart” sad me again.
Fortunately, after I replied that way, Fabian did not return my message again. Now I busy typing My Work Practice Report while waiting for the afternoon lecture to relieve the pain in my heart. But it turned out that afternoon, the lecture was empty. So I'm not going to college.
Busy with college assignments and typing work practice reports made me forget to break my heart because of Fabian. But I'm optimistic because I can get through it all. Although still imagined the story of Okta about Fabian who shot Okta. I told my friends, they responded that I quickly moved on from Fabian or they responded that Fabian and I were not married. While Stefani himself said, Fabian did not know about my feelings. Yes, because I myself until now have not dared to express my feelings to him.
Early heartbreak, I had the thought of deleting Fabian's contact. But I didn't want to delete Fabian's contact. Moreover, tearing up the old High School Diary. If you move on from him, you can, but my heart always rebelled. It feels so wrong with my feelings. But slowly I felt like I had forgotten what was happening at the moment
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But it turns out that Fabian's dream still came to me on January 9, 2013, and it was exactly 7 years that Fabian was in my dream. It feels like “The back missed moon” achieved something impossible for me to achieve. Yes, you are Fabian. Though previously thought Fabian was also no longer, even after the heartbreak incident I completely forgot about everything related to Fabian.
My heart aches when I remember the dialogue with Fabian via SMS, even though it was in a dream.
F: Hy Mi. yep, you are arrogant now. Never text me again.
M: Cocky fuck Fab. It is not you who never reply to my SMS. Uh, but it's useless if what I SMS turns out to have a crush on another girl. Temen deketku again the Okta.
F: Uh, do you know where Mi came from? That's not what I meant Mi. Sorry yes...
M: Fab, you don't have to know who it is from. Honestly, Fab, I was hurt and now I'm still heartbroken because of you.
F: What Mi? Are you heartbroken because of me? Sorry Mi, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you liked me. If time can be turned again. Would you like to be my girl?
M: Hmm, sorry Fab, I have been hurt. So it can't.
“And I want Fab so much, so your girl” I said in my heart.
When aware it was a dialogue in a dream last night, even via SMS. My heart felt a lot of pain. Almost shed tears as I was on the bus to the Regional Library where I met my classmates. “Yes Allah, what a temptation is this. Why is it that when everything is destroyed, it's like this. It was Fabian like reaching for me again” lirihku who is still imagined dialogue with Fabian via SMS even in a dream.
I don't understand what's happening to me right now. It looks like just yesterday I was taken down by Fabian. Now given a dream again about him and now also increasingly imagined memories of the Middle School and High School again. Even though Fabian's face completely forgot what it looked like. “Yes God, I gave up on all this. If this is your destiny, I just follow Your instructions that You think are best for me” my prayer with resignation and do not know what to find a way out of this.
But with this event, I took his silver. Because Okta and I feel more and more familiar and support each other. It's like I'm getting a new friend again. “Thanks Fab....”.
Sometimes I realize something that Fabian is nothing to me. Maybe only the people of the past who still kekeuh come in dreams only. Because it still shows up to this day.
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