First Love & Best Friends

Thirteen

On March 5, 2008. The same thing happened back at school. This afternoon happened to be the weather was cloudy. As we were walking out the school gate it turned out to be a big drizzle of welcome, finally me and my friends took shelter in the security post near the school gate. Even though it was soaking wet it had soaked the jacket, school uniform, and shoes.

I was still there with my friends, I accidentally saw Fabian passing by with his friend and was smiling at his friend. Somehow then Fabian saw me too and threw his sweet smile again at me in front of Luna and Praise. As usual, I smiled back at him. My heart was racing when I got that smile again.

Unconsciously Puji said. “Ciee, she smiled at you Mi.”

“Iya you know Mi, she was smiling at you” continued Luna confirming her praise.

Hearing them say that, I pretended to ask. Though I myself also saw and have returned a smile from Fabian.

”Eh, the hell time he was smiling at me?” ask them.

“Iya Mi, really. She smiled at you” Luna brightly with a ignorant smile at me.

I smiled blush because remembering the smile from Fabian was very sweet and certainly always imagined.

As usual, I told Rere. Hearing the story from me, Rere chuckled and mocked me as usual which always made me more and more misbehaved.

The next day when I was hanging out again with Puji. He told me a lot about Fabian again. Actually my heart still has a painful feeling when Puji told me everything about the familiarity with Fabian in class. Puji told me that last Thursday Fabian offered Puji to come home together after the sport. But Puji refused it. When I heard the story, my facial expression was flat, my feelings were wry and I thought that it was impossible. Day after day Praise always tells me anything related to Fabian in class, and I honestly believe it with the story that Praise me. It turned out without realizing it made me even hotter in the heart. I still cannot describe my true feelings. From here I began to feel a feeling of jealousy that always lingered in my heart.

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I don't understand what Fabian's attitude has been to me lately. Yes, his attitude that emanated from his smile when he met me. It was strange, because Fabian's smile always made me feel wrong, my heart was pounding, always made me wonder, to the point that my cheeks were hot with a hue. When I fell in love with him, really? What contrary? But if otherwise, it is possible. Why she likes smiling is not the same as me. Meanwhile, I feel that dreams about Fabian also continue until now. I'm not alone, there's even Luna and Gazela who always come home with me. Praise is always with me. When that smile came to my life lately, I felt like I knew Fabian when he was in his class again.

I don't know, tonight I'm like a dream with a strange incident. As usual, the dream felt very real.

I was walking home and I suddenly met a friend in SD. Guys, named Ferdi. Yup. In the past during SD I was often gossiped with him. We used to be quiet when we met at school.

“Mi...” call Ferdi who is walking next to me.

I looked up and stopped my footsteps. “Eh, you Fer. What's up?” ask me to call Ferdi.

“Eh Mi, your horrors are the same Fabian?” ask Ferdi directly.

I was shocked when I heard Ferdi.”'s questionWhere's the news from you? Sok know deh” reply me directly.

Ferdi laughs and says”Ya, horrors aja sih”. I just kept quiet without commenting on Ferdi again.

I woke up, shocked to dream like that. “What do you mean? kok gossipnya so sih” my mind is confused. Then I continued sleeping again.

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As time went on, that smile was never out of my sight. I'm getting less and more clueless about Fabian's current behavior. I think he always steals opportunities when he smiles at me. But the more here there is something suspicious, which is when I was sitting next to Praise the smile still landed sweet in front of me. “If Praise is familiar with Fabian in class, time dicuekin anyway? The smile should also make Puji dong” surprised me to know this. Even after I got a smile from Fabian, praise the frenzy. Praise me for telling me more and more about Fabian in class. But my heart felt strange, as if I was burned with jealousy while listening to Praji tell me so much about Fabian in class. Plain again, I still believe with outpouring of heart from Praise.

On the other hand, I also listened to Gazela tell me about her familiarity with Fabian. I felt increasingly strange, there was a feeling of jealousy and envy while listening to it all. “Yes Allah, why the hell is everything like this. It's my fault they did it all to me.”

I feel in High School my feelings are really tested with them. It felt like going back to the Middle Ages, where I was with them blending into one with the laughter I always got from them. Not like this. But I'm still grateful, Luna's presence always comforts me, she might understand what I'm feeling right now.

The more Fabian smiled at me, the more often the dream came to my side. I am not understanding the meaning of everything. Someone felt strange in my heart. Butwhat? I never found the answer to any of the dream's intentions. I also felt amazed by someone other than Fabian. It must be night Fabian came to my dream. What does that mean?

March 11th is where I'm growing older. I am 17 years old now. I like to get various sayings from family and the closest people for sure. I want to be at my age now, just inviting the people closest to me. Rere advised me if I wanted a practice event to take Saturday only. Because the next day was off, I decided on Saturday to invite them to come with my purpose of buying it at a Mall that was a good distance from my school. Puji Included.

My myriad of plans have been well-prepared. Just waiting for his special day.

Thursday, 13 March 2008. I'm bad luck leaving. Yes, because I was waiting for fried rice dishes that are still cooked by my mother. So I had a little breakfast.

Arriving in front of the housing, it turned out to have been left behind the bus as I used to ride and it was a bus subscription from SMP. With a heavy heart I waited for the bus behind him.

While still waiting for the bus alone and standing, I saw a man being escorted by his mother to school. It was Fabian. As usual, she always threw me that smile. I reflexively returned a smile from him with a loud gurgle. Again and again I felt the wrong behavior.

When I saw Puji he was home. Somewhat disappointed to find that, she told me she wanted to help her mother at home. With a heavy heart I accepted the reason and understood it.

Now I, Luna and Gazela are taking the shuttles to get to the Mall I mean. On travel.

“Mi, si Puji do not follow?” ask Gazela.

“Ngak Gaz, do not know why he did not follow” my ring.

“Judah, it's okay Mi. There will still be both of us” entertain Luna to me.

I nodded with a smile to Luna. We were quiet and enjoyed the trip to our destination. Arriving there did not take long to meet them. Immediately I treat them, we previously surrounded the stands in the Mall first. After being hungry enough, we immediately ate the one on the 3rd floor. Yup, I practiced them. Then I was given a gift to Rossi and Rere. I gave Rossi a gift too. It was fun today. After the meal we continued walking again and eventually met up with old friends. Me and them went straight to the photo box. It was a fun Saturday with them.

When I got home, I opened a gift from them. Turns out Rere gave me a funny MUG with a picture of a goat the year I was born. While Rossi gave me a gift in the form of a Photo Box that can be moved around the frame with Winnie The Pooh decoration. I like it all.

In the evening, right after the Maghrib prayer. Suddenly Stefani called me. “Tumben Stefani my inner phone” who will start picking up her phone. After I picked up, Stefani was in a state of tears immediately telling me what happened to her. Stefani confided in me at length tonight this week. I feel sorry for Stefani who got the same bad treatment from her schoolmates as I do now in class. After a long time, it seemed that Stefani's feelings had calmed down, now that the phone had ended and I immediately hung up.

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On Monday, I somehow wanted to quickly ask the reason why Praji did not come with me when I wanted to treat. I, who was in front of Luna's class, saw Puji approaching me in front of Luna's class.

I kindly asked Puji directly. “ Yesterday you did not follow why? Though I want you to follow, let me know my friends”

With a cheerful expression, Puji began to tell about Saturday. “Sorry Mi, I'm really sorry. Yesterday Fabian ngajakin I updated in the supermarket that deket school until the afternoon. Keep me shot at him”

Hearing the story from Puji, my heart felt hit by a block of wood. Sakitttt. I was silent for a moment when Puji told me everything. It feels speechless and ruined. Emotional expression, anger, hate that's how I feel right now. “Fabian is so anyway?” I was claustrophobic and felt a little disappointed.

Then for the sake of praise I try to smile and I respond. “Ciee, shot-out ciee. How do you keep going?”

“I was escorted home with Fabian. Seneng really” Puji story that still has a cheerful expression.

Hearing the story from Puji, I felt like I wanted to get angry with them. Especially with Fabian. And it's even more astonishing that today said Puji, Fabian was in an accident and didn't get in. Anyway, I'm really devastated. After hearing the story from Puji, I returned to the classroom feeling more and more indeterminate. Hardly able to concentrate because of the hurtful news, I still do not believe in all of this. My brain wonders about all this. In my heart I said ”Why does Fabian like Praise, he often smiles at me. Why is Fabian so to me. I'm jealous Fab”. “Thank you for everything”.

When I got home from school, I told Luna and Gazela again. Hearing that story, they turned away in disbelief. After that they comforted me in my sorrow.

“No way Mi, Fabian so. Praise that liein you Mi” timpal Luna feel in disbelief.

“Iya Mi, really. Most commendable lie. I still can't believe your story,” continued Gazela.“I asked Fabian”, Gazela added.

“I feel anyway so” nods me with still feeling tightness in the heart.

I was confused and didn't know what to do. It's so tight my heart. After returning home from school, my anger was directed at my diary, which I had been making a place to confide. In my diary, I poured out the annoyance of my heart that I had been pensive from this morning. I'm really upset with Fabian. Almost two pages of my anger were thrown in my diary. I want to feel like I'm crying.

But somehow my anger towards Fabian didn't last long. Although my chest was still tight when I remembered the story from Puji who was said to have shot Fabian, but my feelings could not last long to hate Fabian.

I was silent, I don't know what I feel right now is like losing him. Actually, my little heart felt that it was indeed a story Praise lies once.

Two days after that incident, I dreamed of Fabian again in my sleep. Suddenly I felt like I had a short message from Fabian. SMS is contained.

On your birthday, I wish you a happy 17th birthday. From: Fabian's.

Getting a birthday greeting via SMS from Fabian, my expression was immediately happy. But I'm confused, he got my number from whom. I never felt like I had a phone number with him.

I immediately woke up from waking up, because the incident had just turned out to be just a dream. After realizing I had experienced the incident, I just sighed resignedly and without realizing my heart was beating fast.

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