First Love & Best Friends
Thirty Nine
People said, especially the friends I told about the dream that happened to me that the DREAM was just A SLEEPING FLOWER. But I seemed to describe another, that the dream I had for 5 years was a clue to me from God. Because I have the feeling that the dream I got from Fabian is an advantage that not many people experience like me. But what is the clue behind this? Why have I never experienced this before. It's only with Fabian that I experience this. I also realized that my feelings for Fabian had never been known to Fabian himself.
I still wonder what I have experienced to this day. Digesting all the meaning of Fabian's dreams that I don't want to lose from my sleep. Actually I was sad when the moments with him did not want to disappear. But the more I get here the deeper I feel for Fabian and the more I get, maybe that pent-up feeling turns into love.
Even the dreams about Fabian don't want to go out of my sleep. I met Fabian through a dream like meeting in the real world, but after realizing it turned out to be a dream. “What is happening to me? Why is Fabian still in my dreams?” my mind is constantly asking about it. “Yes Allah, if Fabian is the best person for me. Bring me closer to him. If it's not the best for me, keep everything about Fabian” my prayers every night.
After praying, my feelings calmed down a little, but my mind still raised a question mark about this incident. The events I've been having lately, since Fabian's class to be exact.
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Entering the year 2012......
Today is March 11, 2012. I am now 21 years old. Feeling that I am getting older I should be able to get better. On my birthday, I love getting greetings from home people, close friends, and friends on Facebook. Not to mention that Nurul's arrival at my house was a surprise to me and said my birthday in person.
More unexpected when the online Facebook, I'm more happy mixed misbehavior. Because when you look at the list of names that are online Facebook there is the name Fabian. Feels given a birthday gift this time when getting Fabian online. Pleasure, misbehavior, and joy mixed into one's heart. Then I rebuked Fabian through Facebook chatt. When the chat through Massage on Facebook took place, I almost died lice made. Crazy one! It was mixed with an awkward feeling. And I realized something about this. Fabian and I were both awkward when the chat on Facebook was going on. I sometimes ask him things that are not important. Confused to talk about what, and I also just ask about the news now. Besides, I also reprimanded my high school friend who had one room with me while on a picnic to Bali. Okta. But as the online goes on, I'm sad Fabian didn't say I was birthday.”No matter Fab, you nemeni I chat on facebook also already fun. That includes my most beautiful gift today. Thanks yaa”, I feel very excited because I remember this birthday that fell on Sunday.
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Long story short, I now start communicating with Okta via SMS every day. Yes, because Okta and I had exchanged mobile numbers through chat on facebook. As time went on, I slowly began to confide with Okta about Fabian, although Okta was surprised at first when I told her about it. But long ago Okta was addicted to listening to my curses, because she thought the story about Fabian since High School was very funny. I also did not think about all the events that I went through with Fabian in High School, not to mention in Junior High School.
And Okta also thinks like Rere that Fabian likes me. But I'm still confused by Okta's description. Always my mind filled with the words”Ah, Fabian likes me anyway? I don't think it's possible. But if you remember the treatment, make me more curious also”. Okta finally gave me Fabian's phone number. I'm glad to have Fabian's number now. When I started texting with him, it felt confused and awkward to send what message.
I finally started for Say Hello to her. Then, a few hours later it finally Fabian replied to my SMS. The joy of the night could not be expressed in words. Feeling tired after returning home from college immediately disappeared. After that incident, Fabian always replied to him, until I was excited. But the more I came here, I just realized the true nature of Fabian who turned out to be a bit indifferent, even when replying only briefly to never reply at all. “Kirain Fabian if the SMS is fun like the others, it turns out this is so. Like SMS with stranger” sad me.
Ever since that incident, I've missed the old Fabian. It turned out to be nice to meet in person rather than via SMS whose reply was only short. Although I understand Fabian is busy working, but take the time to just reply to my short message.But yasudah, I also can not force Fabian's desire. When Okta told me about Fabian who rarely replied, Okta could only comfort me and tell me to be patient
For some reason, since then also memories for memories in the days of Junior High School and High School revolved back in my mind. It's sweet, it's beautiful, it's crazy and the smiles aren't obvious, and it makes me feel amused too. I kept on and on. Until one day I was crying because it was still imagined memories with Fabian, even though this was already 2012. I feel it's time to forget all this which is indeed hard to forget.”I'm not sure about all this? Can I face it alone. And I'm sure Fabian must have also forgotten with everything” sad me.
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My message to Okta is currently via SMS.
Shortly after, Okta replied.
Patience, you are sure if the soul mate will not go where.
I read Okta's message again, digesting her message. “Truly too, what Okta said. I'm also sure that Fabian will be reunited with me. But erasing the memories of 6 years with him is very difficult. But I never regretted what I had been through with Fabian during my old school my inner” while calming down and reassuring myself that all of this included the secret of God.
Finally I continued to send a message with Okta via SMS, there was a feeling of relief in my heart when everything was poured out. Although I still communicate with other friends, but with Okta more often. I'm happy that Okta gave support to what I've been through until now. However, the moments in Junior High School and High School used to ring again when I told Okta.
Message from Okta when I read it.
Maybe she's your First Love.
Everything you experience from these events feels special.
After I read it, I felt stunned as I digested the words First Love in the message. Frist Love's? So my First Love is Fabian? . Not the guy I used to like until he got rejected. Now I realize the word First Love from Okta. “It should feel different when you like that guy with when you like Fabian. Yes, I felt that falling in love with Fabian turned out to be a request of my own heart and without coercion. While I used to like my SD friends, it's just a lip expression not from my own heart. Although they were equally I liked the looks of it, and the one that persisted until now was my inner Fabian” aware of that one thing. I feel like Fabian is something that will never be replaced. Because I was looking for another, there was no one like him until I liked some people but I was reminded by my own heart that I really liked Fabian once. Although I know, dreams about Fabian still come to welcome my sleep.
With Wawan himself. I still think Wawan is my best friend. “He is my best friend” revealed me full of smiles. Yes, I still communicate with him. Although in the end Wawan also supported me to get closer to Fabian.
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