The Way to Find You

Decisions

The wind blows my skin. Carrying my wishful thinking floated along with the gentle whirring of the wind. I am still sitting in the garden behind the house. Looking at the sky that looks thick tonight. Stars seem reluctant to flicker as well as the moon hiding behind blackened clouds. My thoughts drift, still about marriage. to be honest I doubt, is it really my decision to follow the desire of Ares and Aunt Dhiya to get married immediately ?. Can I be a part of their family ?.

I never doubted the kindness of their family. But when the marriage bond happened, it wasn't the same anymore.I wasn't just Livi's best friend visiting to play around, spending a million stories with Livi. I'll be a part of them they say 'son-in-law'. And households will certainly not be as smooth as toll roads.

And when the household exam was greeting. still can I be good for them ?. aaaah dizzy. I rubbed my face rough. frustrated with all my own thoughts.

" why mbak ?" lian's voice that turned out to have been sitting next to me. I don't know when she was there.

" when did you get there, Ian ?".

" since then, don't bengong Mulu mbak. why the hell ?" lian asked while looking at me.

I leaned my body against the garden.

" dark dizzy ".

" buy the drug mbak'' said relaxed while his eyes and fingers focus on hp.

" ck, Lo mah" my grunts as if to welcome Lian's soft laugh. Looks like Lian put the hp in her shorts pocket. Looking at me with a serious look

" is there a problem with Ares ?"

" it doesn't matter, Aunt Dhiya wants us to get married. But I don't think it's ready yet. You know I'm the same Ares road not too long ago"

' but you know it for a long time. continue what makes Lo not ready ?"

" Lo still not sure how Lo feels?, don't say Lo still love Adrian ?"

I exhale slowly.Love?, perhaps the taste is not completely gone. But right now, my love is bigger for Ares. And I convinced my heart to do it.

" if the reason for my doubt Adrian is definitely not.But I also do not know my fear on what basis.I have been able to accept the presence of Ares, and slowly also have been able to love him.I may be afraid, I may be afraid,can't be a good couple for Ares. can't be a good sister-in-law to Livi and can't be a good daughter-in-law to Aunt Dhiya" .

" the point is not afraid of the same self. jalanin ajalah mbak. kak Ares right people. less what try. handsome ? yes, why?, really. understanding?, not in doubt, do not think too far."

" but married is not just between me with Ares there will be a big family behind us. inevitably yes I thinkin".

" yes already mbak. if they want to object tuh from now.they also already know that mbak who has extraordinary achievements disappointing him about the affairs of the house. Cook can not, wash clothes never. especially cleaning".

Lian's successful explanation makes me laugh. Because everything is true. affairs in the house I won a big zero. I'm too relying on others makes me can not do anything. and that's what always makes mama lecture me. too lazy that's me. not at all the dream wife and sister Ares also know about it.

" so according to Lian ya mbak, do not hesitate. I saw Ares love the same. And to be loved is better than to love, but it is better to be in love".

I smiled rattling Lian's hair with one of my hands.

" pinter really deck" chirps me who was replied with a whiff because of her hair that I random.

" wanted to sleep ah already malem" said Lian while combing her hair with fingers.then she passed leaving me who was still sitting on the park bench. Silent, left the sound of the night beast accompanying me.

And maybe I should really settle down. married Ares, be part of the Nugraha family. I hope I can be a friend and brother-in-law to Livi .