The Way to Find You

turns out she was

today is still like yesterday.I decided to stay at home when uncle and aunt to the garden. finished the morning shower I was lazing in the room. with the sound of my song slowly play, I played,I read a novel I brought on purpose.

suddenly ringing hp reads video call from mama.he must be worried from yesterday I did not give news. soon I raised, mama's face looks clear because even though in the village the network is very good.

"hay ma".sapaku with a smile I make as serious as possible.

"hallo dear, how's that ?''

"happy ma, I'll see you yesterday as I'm harris".

"thank God you have friends, so you're not alone in it".

'calm up don't worry, you'll be fine here"

"good mama relieved.already first yes, mama want monthly shopping first.if you need anything, you talk to mama"

"okay mam"

"well, right there"

I gave my thumbs up in response with a smile I developed on my lips, and mama ended the call.

I'll try to see this smile on my mom. I don't want my problems to be a burden to her. I can fool people with a smile of falsehood but not my heart. still this taste is like a knife that continues to slash pain.

I took a deep breath and I exhaled with heavy sighs.tight taste, but tired if you have to tear again spilled. anyway no meaning, just make me worse.

as my mind wandered by itself hp rang again. I saw the screen, WA from livi.

(how was the holiday?). I knew he wanted to know how I was on this run, but he was a friend who knew how I felt.

(happy,kmrin ktmu tmen lm)

(cwe or cwo)

(cwo. knp ? want to min dbngks make by2)

(😄😄😄, without?)

(tp reza,gue kmanain nih. make lo aj deh. sp tau lo kcantol)

(blum to mkir cwo)

(jgn gt dong,lo msti move on)

(move on?, not as liv)

(jgn sdih dong,gue kan jd pngen nangis nih). livi can always guess my feelings even though I am not with him.

(😊, gk ush nangis. I am already tired of this mt water nyia-nyiain)

(sneng dngrnya, bner yes lo hrs strong. hmmm pngen mluk)

(ah jd kgen, gmn cafe?)

I switched the conversation.

(usual sprt, lmyan rame. if supplies lo hbs, kbrin. I trnsfr)

(siiip 👍)

(yes I lnjt krj. have a nice day)

(thanks, have a nice day too)

finished chatting ria with livi, I opened the fb that has been almost a week I have not seen. initially all was well. until my eyes were fixed on a photo post. I was flabbergasted, I was,I've cancelled my friendship with Adrian but the wedding photos ?. why is it plastered here ?. The heat feels my eyes, but I try to survive. I keep looking and. deggg, my heart seems to stop beating. who uploaded an account called "kiki indira".

someone who is not a stranger to me. When I look at the wedding photo it turns out she is the bride. tears can no longer be weathered. So all this time I was fed up adrian with his secretary ?. oh my God, how stupid am I.

I never once thought, how many times I met kiki. she was a kind and friendly person.or so Adrian chose her ?.

maybe he's the right person to be adrian's companion.but why should it be like this?. can't adrian slightly keep my feelings, at least decide I'm far away.so meaningless I am for adrian ?.

if I hadn't thought, mama, papa, my brother's dian was also livi. I might have chosen to end my life.but those people sincerely love me. And I have no right to make them hurt. I have to endure, I have to endure,I have to get up.