Please Don't Forget Me

Ainun's Heart

I'm a woman who has a hard time falling in love and doesn't really expect love.

But ever since my first meeting with a man named Aldo, the corners of my heart have been shaking.

A feeling I have never felt and that I have never understood.

He was the first man to make me fall in love and feel an unusual feeling.

But my heart seemed uncertain and like in a lightning strike when Abah said he would match me with the son of his best friend, the nanny of the boarding school in Jombang.

Yes he is Ahmad Rafiq, the man's name.

Even though I don't have the slightest feelings for him, maybe because you haven't met.

I had never met him and did not expect that meeting.

All I know is that she was the cause of my failed marriage to Aldo.

But I can't blame him completely either.

However, this is difficult to determine the destiny of God.

Has not God established man's destiny of soul mate, death, sustenance before the 50,000th year of creation of heaven and earth? moreover this is also the desire of Abah .

How could I blame him completely? even though I was disappointed.

I can't oppose Abah and reject her wishes. Although I could have, but honestly I do not want to disappoint Abah therefore I accept and remain silent even though I am very hurt by this matchmaking.

I thought, Abah would know to see my attitude how to accept this matchmaking that is not too enthusiastic.. But it seems that Abah doesn't understand me my attitude maybe because I said I approved of him and just kept quiet ? I am confused too.

But to be honest, I don't expect much from that guy and about this matchmaking.

Yes, I just hope that if he is my soul mate, may Allah bring us closer, no matter how.

But if not, may God keep me away from him far away and remove this feeling.

Because to be honest, I still have feelings for him.

Then am I wrong to continue this marriage with the man Abah chose but I still have a sense with Aldo and still love him so much to this day ?

I wanted to be honest with Abah, but I didn't want to disappoint Abah with what I said later, because of my vague feelings .

A feeling I don't have to deal with.

Because I've heard that love comes from getting used to it, don't you think?

Have you ever not listened to that phrase ?

Yes, that's why I believe that my marriage to Abah's best friend, Ahmad Rafiq that man can grow my love for him finally even though now the feeling is not there for him because my feelings are still filled by Aldo, the first man that makes me vibrate and fall in love.

　

Then is it wrong if I wish he would be my companion ?

is it wrong if I hope this feeling is avenged ?

is it wrong if I hope he comes to my house and asks Abah for permission to propose and propose to me ?

Is it wrong if I want to start my love story and my happiness with the man I love ? the man who made me shake for the first time?

Although I know of course there will be likes and duks in the marriage.

But unfortunately, the famous me always complied and kept quiet, it is impossible to argue and disappoint Abah to make me accept applications and suggestions from men I do not love, he said, the man of Abah's best friend's son and made me have to give up and give up the man I love .

Yes, I can only pray to God.

I leave this story of my love to my Lord

Let God determine it.

If Aldo, the man I love is good for me, may Allah bring us closer.

But if Aldo is not the best for me, may Allah keep us away and eliminate my feelings of love for him.

Likewise with Ahmad Rafik, the man who will be betrothed to me.

If it is good for me, may Allah bring us closer, may we meet soon and he ask for me.

But if not, may Allah keep me away if I do not need to meet him,

there's no need for that meeting.

Yes, I go to my Lord, God.

Is not it sometimes that we think is good may not necessarily be the best according to God for us ?

And if we think badly of something, does not God know better what is best for us ?

Then I have what right to set God to determine my love story as I wish, while God, my Lord knows everything.

And what right do I have to be disappointed and to argue while Allah knows what is best for me and of course has planned the best for me, right ?

Now I can only love him in silence and try to make him..

Now I can only pray and pray.

Let now be my love story, I give it to my Lord.