Paper Dove

A CONFESSION

I stopped my car on a deserted road. Jeni was still as excited, she seemed to release all the emotions inside her all this time. I silently listened to her crying voice, until she became calmer. 

“ Jeni forgive me. I'm a jerk. I didn't mean to hurt you ”, I apologized without saying anything more. I felt my head blank without being able to digest anything.

Jeni has not responded to me, I'm getting more agitated because she doesn't talk at all. If he says he hates me now or hits me I'll be calmer because he's letting out his feelings. I stared ahead at the darkness that was only illuminated by the lights from my car while waiting for him to speak.

“ Juan I'm tired can we go home?”, Jeni spoke to me while looking out the window. 

I breathed in frustration and impatience. I actually want to solve our problems right now.

"What you hear is a misunderstanding. L like you. My past I was struggling to get out of there. You're not a runaway but a place I lean on", I looked at him.

" Are you sure? Do you love me? Are you willing to forget that girl? ", Jeni asked without seeing me. " I saw Juan, the woman in her white wedding dress. I know, but I don't care because our marriage is just pretend. But I . .. My heart ached because it was ", Jeni looked at me.

I was stunned to remember the photos and invitations in my study. The one I always delayed throwing it away because of the anxiety of my heart and now it boomerangs for me.

" It's just an old photo. I'll throw it away", I said quickly.

" I like you Juan with my heart. But if I were just a toy for you, I wouldn't. I'm not that good and I'm quite tired of my life" she said softly. " I'm going to get down here and take a taxi" he said, releasing his seat belt.

I locked the main lock. He tried to open the car door.

" Open Juan. I'm going down" he said.

" No. You'll be with me. You're my wife, this misunderstanding must end tonight", I looked at her.

"But I'm tired. I'm going home. Open", Jeni's angry.

" No. I'll take you home. We go home together. Let's solve our problem ", I turned off my car.

" I hate you. I want to go home. Goddamn bum... Open the door" Jeni began to cry. "I hate you Juan.. You're evil", Jeni hit me.

I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. I can feel the saltiness of her tears. Jeni pushed me while crying, I held her hand that pushed me and continued to kiss her. In the end, she accepted my kiss. Jeni bit my lips in annoyance but I responded differently.

I was getting more aggressive, getting forward towards him and my hand was looking for a lever to lower his seat. I made her lie down in my kiss. I let go of my kiss and kissed every inch of his neck in the middle of his hunting breath. My hands scoured every inch of her thighs and rose upward.

My hand is right there in one of its beauties. Playing the tip made Jeni sigh in my mouth. I'm sure this is the first for him. Jeni closed her eyes she gave herself up. I took my hand off her and let go of my kiss.

" Let's solve our problems at home" I whispered to him and fixed his position and drove the car quickly to my hotel.

Arriving at my hotel Jeni did not talk much her face was still red. I pulled his hand, he was a little surprised.

" I love you. You can't leave me, just try to leave. I will destroy this world in order to find you" I said.

" But.you ... Tid... Ah.", Jeni's not done talking, I've put my body on her and kissed her shoulder.

" Juan... L'm.. Not showered.. hmp....". I covered her mouth with my kiss this time more aggressively than before.

I quickly undressed and pulled the zipper of Jeni's dress behind her back, leaving her only clad in black. I lifted him in my sling and took him to the study. Putting it on the desk makes a lot of files fall on the floor.

" I'm gonna eat you tonight little thief" I whispered and bit his ear. Because maybe this was his first experience he was much surprised and blushed with embarrassment. I had to guide him and teach him many things.

I took a sip of both hills with my mouth making his body tremble. " Juan... Ah. ", she moaned on my desk.

When I opened the last cover she looked embarrassed at me. I smiled and whispered, "You are mine", and carried her and laid her on the sofa.

I had a bit of a hard time getting into it and I kind of made up for something that I knew was the pride of all women. Jeni bit her lips because of the pain I caused.

I brought him in a slow and gentle game. He moaned under me, then the faster my game went, I changed his position on my back. We enjoyed our hot night until I finally fell on his back.

I kissed her back and neck, Jeni looked at me exhausted. " I love you ", I said. I carried her and laid her on the bed covering ourselves with a blanket. And we fell asleep together.

***

“ I'm guilty. I have a bad past. I once loved a woman and I left her for a reason. I went back and thought that his feelings for me were still the same as before and vice versa”.

“ I forced him to like me, I forced him to love me like he used to. Even though I know he loves other men. And in the end I hurt her made her kill herself because of what I thought was because I loved her but in fact I was just obsessed with her”.

“This is my mistake that I have borne for many years. This girl forgives me but because of her apologies I am getting drowned in the mud of my regrets. He should have hated me, he should have taken revenge and killed me. But he didn't do it. And right now I'm not on the run but you're my savior from that mud of regret. At first I wasn't serious about you, but you pulled my heart out, you filled the void in my heart. It's just that I was wrong, not daring to step past my line of regret. Forgive me”.

“ If you hate me I'll take it. If you want to split up I will grant it but you should know that right now I set my heart on loving you Jeni”, we chatted on the bed when I woke up in the morning.

Jeni did not give any response, she fell silent. I peeked at the top of his head.

Jeni speaking in my arms “ Juan. It feels like my heart aches being stabbed by a sharp knife so many times, it feels like my chest is tight every time I see you last”, he exhales. 

“ I'm sorry”, I'm sorry.

“ But somehow I still like you. Maybe if you hurt me more than that I'll still like you. You're the first man I've liked in my whole life besides my dad, you took my whole heart”, Jeni then looked at me with teary eyes. “ I hate to cry in front of others, but I do it in front of you because I trust you Juan”, her tears are flowing. 

I hugged him tightly, very tightly. “ I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I hurt you. I love you the same. Live with you until the end of”, I kissed her forehead. Her tears are getting bigger. 

“ I only have you now Juan”, he sobbed. 

I hugged him more. This woman who was originally very independent started leaning on me because I with a dagger made it that way. I love it, I have come out of my past and chosen to be with it. 

We slept in my bed with Jeni in my arms. I love him, everything in him. His eyes, his face, his stubborn nature, I like everything. I fell for her, for my woman Jeni.

***