Paper Dove

FALLING FOR YOU

I came out of the bathroom in a prepared kimono. In my room I found two satin dresses. One is a low cut party dress and an open back and the other is an evening dress with the same cut and more open.

I snorted “ He must be out of his mind. Juan thinks it's the first night of the wedding or something. That shitty baboon, that jerk forcible. I'm not gonna sleep in this fucking shirt. Even if I don't want” while grumbling myself I tie my kimono rope and then go up on the bed. Covering myself with a thick blanket down my eyes, I had to be wary of fearing Juan attacking me while I was asleep. The man was like a ferocious wolf every time I saw him and I was like a weak rabbit that could not fight back. I should have taken martial arts training, I regretted the past.

I miss Nandes. Is Nandes looking for me now? is he confused? what if Nandes doesn't want to marry me again because he thinks I'm going with Juan? heart's sad. Elsa must have freaked out hearing my phone. I don't even know where I am now. I took a breath, annoyed by the current state of affairs. My hatred for Juan is growing.

I fought Juan by not obeying what Juan wanted to eat dinner with him, I prefer to sleep. I was tired, tired from confusion, tired from crying and my hands started to hurt, it felt sore and twitching. But I won't take painkillers because it'll make me sleepy and fall asleep, I won't be able to protect myself later. But without any medicine I slept with the blanket I was holding tightly covering my body.

I woke up to the noise but loud enough, I was too sensitive for sounds like this. 

“ Sorry Sir, when we came Miss was asleep by wrapping her body on blanket”.

Juan took a breath, then without speaking he told the servants to come out. I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep.

“ Beautiful, want to until when do you pretend to sleep?”, Juan said gently.

I'm staying quiet. Not moving at all even I let out a voice like a snore to convince Juan and of course Juan laughed a little. He sat on the bedside and sat there watching me. Uncomfortable as I turned around with great difficulty because of the thick blanket wrapped around my body, my position now turned to Juan. To be honest, I'm really hot right now. If I wasn't afraid of Juan I'd want to get out of this blanket. 

Juan walked out for a while and sat down at his place. I heard the guitar sound being plucked. Juan sang a song that I had forgotten for years. In each quote, Juan seemed to want to express his feelings for me at this time.

The best thing about tonne's that we're not fighting

It couldn't be that we have been this way before

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because a tonnage will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear its true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended

I always swore to you I'd never fall apart

You always thought that I was stronger

I may have failed But I have loved you from the start

Oh, but hold your breath

Because a tonnage will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

It's impossible to find

After Juan sang the song in a quiet atmosphere, Juan then pulled the blanket I was wearing in one hit I rolled out of the blanket wrapped around my body. Quickly Juan got on the bed and hugged me, I thrashed to his chest. Shit I could've let my guard down because of a song. 

“ Dew calm, I just want to hug you”, Juan caught my hand actively hitting him my leg was clamped using his foot. He looked at me trying to calm me down. 

“ I'm engaged Juan. It's not true”, I threw in a fact that I knew made him hurt.

“ You just got engaged Dewun, not married him. You can still marry me”, Juan smiled ignorantly.

I got upset and pulled my hand trying to attack him. Juan took an impatient breath he pulled my hand and kissed my lips forcefully. 

“ Hmmm...”, I bit her lips strongly. 

“Arrkh..”, Juan let go of his kiss in pain. He quickly changed his position to be above me. His feet locked both my legs and my hands were gripped over my head. “ If you keep like this I will really impregnate you”, Juan threatened.

Hearing that I instantly became quiet and obedient. But I looked at Juan sharply, channeling all hatred through the glare of my eyes. “ Take care of me. I want to go home”, I said tired.

“ Can't you be with me here ? whatever you want I will give you. Love, happiness, my life. All I will give Dewun”, Juan said softly.

I stared to my left, refusing to look at him. Juan sighed then took a sleeping position while hugging me from behind. I just shut up. Afraid that I'd make a move and provoke him into doing something dangerous for me. Juan put his chin on my head, one hand still holding my hand on my stomach. 

“You are not hungry?”, Juan asked.

I nodded obediently answering his question.

“ If you feel hungry at midnight, just wake me up. Now sleep”, Juan continues.

“ You did not return to your room?”, I asked expectantly.

“ This is my room”, the answer is short.

Shit I should have realized from the start. “ Do we have to sleep like this?”, I ask again. 

“Hmm..”, Juan sleepy. 

“ But I'm not comfortable?”, I replied.

“ Because you wear a bathrobe. You should have worn the clothes I bought for you”, juan buried his face in my hair.

“ No. I don't want to. I won't wear it”, I'm stubborn.

Juan small laugh “ You are indeed stubborn”.

Then the mood became quiet. Juan seemed to be asleep, that fast but his embrace of me was still very tight. There was sadness tucked in my heart, I was like betraying Nandes. Maybe when he was confused looking for me and I even slept in the arms of another man. I don't seem worthy to be her fiance. 

***