Paper Dove

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IN LOVE?

Another day Jeni called me who was busy working in the office. He protested because I never texted him or called him in the middle of work hours. 

" Why should I do that" I asked in between the video calls. 

" That's what Juan was doing" she said with a funny look of surprise.

I smiled at her "So what should I do now?", I asked. 

" Because this is part of the learning, you must be diligent in calling me at least 2 times a day" he said again. 

" If I don't?", I wonder. 

" I'll look for you to the end of the world hehe" he said. "Of course you broke the contract" he whispered on the phone. 

I laughed at her childishness. " All right I agree. So what are you doing now little thief?", I asked.

"I was lounging, the store was renovated and all the items were being rearranged. I was waiting for the flower delivery for the shop", he replied again. 

" What time do you come home?", I asked. 

" at half 8 p.m. I have a lot to do" he said. 

" All right then. I'll call again", I said, then hung up. 

The phone rings back. I breathed with patience. 

" What's up ? ", many.

"Juan, if you want to hang up what should I say?" said Jeni fiercely. 

"What's? Bye?", I asked back. 

His face shriveled irritably "just from now on every one will hang up the phone has to say. Bye dear, Love you".

I was dumbfounded, the sound of laughter on the other side of the room made me massage my forehead. Doni and Max happily enjoy this teen drama. 

" Bye darling…. I..", my mouth is stiff. I'm not a romantic guy, I say things like this are always spontaneous because I really love. I can't do it under this kind of pressure. 

" I….L.O  ….V..E", Jeni spelled every word helping me. 

I followed him, my mouth open trying to spell but the sound coming out was very small and full of compulsion "I…. L….O…. I can't Jen", I said annoyed at the end of the sentence. 

" Ck. You are indeed the most unromantic man in the world. Yes I'll forgive you today. Tomorrow let's not repeat, it's part of the exercise" he said again and hung up the phone. 

I took a long breath. The sound of laughter in my room made me even more upset. 

" Hahahaha Juan.. Hahaha. Asian Dragons. 

Doni fearlessly laughed softly. He did not try to hold back his laughter. 

"Silent you ck", I exclaimed making Max's laughter firmer. 

Jeni seems to be getting out of her mind, I will punish her when I get home later. How dare he prank me.

***

“ Juaaannn...”, Jeni yells calling me when I get home.

“ What's up? Why are you yelling in the middle of the malm like this?”, I put my shirt on the couch. “ Doni go home and rest”, I said to Doni who immediately resigned.

“ Here follow me”, Jeni dragged me into the dining room. “ Happy birthday mister cocky”, he shouted while clapping.

I stared at the small dining room decorations, balloons and flowers filled the dining room. I looked at him while smiling “ My birthday is almost past”, I said quietly as I rubbed his head.

“ It's only 11 o'clock, still time to celebrate your birthday. Sorry late, but happy birthday Juan”.

He thrust a not-so-big cake at me with a 29-shaped candle on it.

“ May at a new age you become more handsome, quickly can mate, not arrogant anymore and richer”, his prayers make me smile.

“ Thank you for your prayers but some parts have been granted. I've been handsome since I was born, I'm very rich, I've married you. Maybe just reduce a little bit my vanity”, I said then blew out the candle.

“ Ck, still remain as arrogant as usual”, he said looking at me with a squint.

He smiled “ No I helped Doni”, he said.

“ When? She was with me all day”, I was confused.

“Doni told his men to help me. If you see how his men with a burly body decorate this wall with balloon”, Jeni chuckles softly.

I smiled, realizing that I liked the sound of her laughter. Liked her cheerful smile, liked it as she grabbed my hand.

“ Let's have cake”, he said excitedly.

We sat together at the dinner table. He cut my cake and put it on the plate. Then cutting off his part, we ate in silence

“ How?”, ask.

“ What?”, I asked back.

“ Kenya”, she stared expectantly.

I immediately understood that he wanted me to give an opinion on the cake. “ Delicious, not too sweet. I like”, I said honestly.

“ Of course delicious. I bought it in my subscription store”, he said proudly.

“I smile. “ Thank you Jeni”, I looked at her inside.

It seemed like he was a little misbehaved, there was a red hue visible on his cheek. “ Yes, no problem. It's just a cake, if you want later I buy you another”, he said awkwardly.

“ Not the cake. Thank you for remembering my birthday”, I said honestly still looking at her.

She looked back at me and coughed softly “Ya, that's what the couple did. Juan..”, he said staggered.

“ Yes... “, I still stare at him gently.

“ Don't look at me like that”, he said again while turning his face away.

“ Oh forgive me. Are you uncomfortable?”, I'm instantly aware of what I'm doing.

“ Yes, I am very uncomfortable. I'm afraid my faith is wavering because your face”, he said honestly.

I smiled “ You're fascinated with me?”, I nailed him.

His face was red with shame. “ Spend your cake or I save everything in refrigerator”, he threatened.

I laughed “ Alright. I'm not gonna look at you right now. Eat”, I said.

He followed my words but kept staring at the cake. I smile, can I please? Is there any karma that will follow me? I don't know. All I know is that I am happy with him now.

“ Juan... “, call him again.

“ What is it?”, my question.

“ What's it like to be in love?”, she looks at me.

I was still listening to his question. “ Fall in love?”, I repeat that question to myself.

“ Hmm..”, he looked at me waiting for the answer to come out of my mouth.

I twist my index finger on the lip of the glass.

” It feels like your world is filled only by people you like. Your heart will beat strong even if you only hear his name mentioned, all the senses in you are only focused on him. He becomes the center of your world and when you are with him, you feel like you don't need anything else. When you parted from him there was a strange sense that would appear", I tried to recall my feelings towards Dewun first.

" When he leaves, your world is like collapsing over you. Your heart will ache even when you hear his name and you will continue to be lonely even when in the crowd”, you will be alone, obviously I continued to play my finger on the lip of the wine glass in front of me.

I looked at Jeni who kept looking at me. “ Listen to me, when you fall in love with someone. At that time you also have to be able to learn to let go. The greater the love that comes, the greater your race to let go. Love is not just about happiness, but about letting go of”, I told her.

Jeni stupefied looking at me. “ Juan.. have you ever loved that deep?”, Jeni asked.

I fell silent and answered.

“ Sleep. It's already night time. Thanks for the surprise. I have a little job”, I stand up from my chair and leave it stunned at the dinner table.

***