Paper Dove

NANDES: MY WOMAN'S HANDS ARE COLD

" What? What do you mean Nandes?", Flit seemed to be in disbelief. 

" Do I need to repeat Flit?", I'm upset. " Do I need to repeat the crimes your sister committed?".

Silent for a moment like disbelief, Flit finally held my shoulder "OK I'll help you. My sister is. ahh. I'm gonna find her whereabouts", Flit then calls someone. " I'll call you when I get Nandes' news, I promise" Flit looked at me. 

I nodded then turned around leaving Flit who was busy talking on the phone. I took the car home around the city of Jakarta hoping to find Dewun anywhere, but the results were nil. Until midnight I decided to go back to my apartment. I called Monica, handed her all the office work.

I sat in the living room with all sorts of thoughts coming through. What the hell's going on? Is Dew happy with him? But why did Dew ask for help? What does Juan want after so many years away? I clasped my glass tightly, then took a sip of the drink inside.

Sometimes there was anger sneaking into my brain, sometimes great anxiety attacked me for thinking about what happened to Dew. Sometimes there was fear coming up, fearing the Dews leaving me and choosing Juan. My mind is fucked.

I called Adam "Dam, no word yet. Later if there is any development I will contact you", I said a short answer yes by Adam. Adam understands, I don't want to talk much right now.

In the end I decided to cleanse myself and fill my stomach. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday, since meeting Elsa I've felt nothing but anxiety that overwhelms my mind.

***

I was chewing my bread when Flit called. 

" Nandes I found it. Departing tonight", Flit said briefly. 

I gulped, there was a bit of fear in my heart. Fear of Dew choosing Juan. I can't think of anything else. Honest from my deepest heart I'm afraid of losing her.

I called Adam with trembling hands.

" Yes, how's Nandes?", Adam answered my call.

" I found it".

***

Until the moment of our departure to Jogja and setting foot in that villa, I was still thinking about all the possibilities that were painful for me. 

The villa looked deserted, some people were on guard. Flit was not allowed to enter until the guard brought by Flit was involved in a fistfight with the Villa guard. I ran into the Villa, looking for Dew here and there. 

Flit helped me shout Juan's name until a servant came out in fear. There was a blood stain on his shirt. I ran towards the designated room. I fell because I saw blood on the floor. My mind ran away, I couldn't think of anything. 

" Whose blood is this?", Flit yelled at the waiter. 

The waiter cried in fear not daring to answer. Flit breathed in trying to be patient. 

" Say, whose blood is this?", Flit stared intently at the servant. 

I'm waiting for an answer. My heart is beating unbecoming.

Breathing in, the servant spoke softly and was afraid "So morning, Mr. Juan and the lady had a big fight. Miss throws all the stuff.. and .. and. and. miss ... slashes her own hand", the waiter sobs. 

" Where are they now? Tell me? ", i screamed Frustration. 

The waiter called one of the famous hospitals in Jogjakarta. Without further ado I ran out of the room followed by Flit behind me. 

I'm fucked, so fucked. What the hell's going on? I keep asking that in my heart. Did Juan treat him badly? I hit the car dashboard hard. Flit just kept silent to see me.

***

I knelt to see the Dew lying on the patient's bed. My legs were limp, my body was trembling in fear. I know very well this situation, how many years ago I witnessed the same incident like this. The last attempt was made to make Meggy come back.

Some medics are doing CPR on Dew. I saw Juan sitting as still as he suffered with me, his shirt full of dried blood. I was in a daze, not knowing what to do. Flit paced back and forth looking at all that. 

As the situation improved, I sat down next to Dew. Clasping her cold hand. Looking at the wound on his wrist. No words were spoken by me or Juan. We were both silent for hours. 

My woman looks thin and pale. His hands were cold, there was no warmth I was used to. There was no smile to welcome me. My tears washed his hands. I cried in silence, wept for my stupidity for not being able to take care of it, wept for my stupidity for not being able to find it as quickly as I could, I was completely useless. 

After a long time I heard Juan move from his chair. He was about to approach the Dew bed when I pulled his collar and beat him mercilessly in the face. There was not the slightest gap I left for him to reply. And he has no desire to retaliate, he silently accepts all my rage.

Until Flit came and separated us. Flit tried to pull me along with his bodyguard. I saw Juan spitting blood from his mouth, his face bleeding. He fell asleep on the white floor and cried without a sound. His blood was on the floor. I broke away from Flit. I was furious, I went berserk hitting the wall venting my anger. 

After feeling better I looked at Flit with unfriendly eyes.

" Take him away before I kill him", I said coldly. 

" Nandes.. Sorry... I'm really sorry for this incident", Flit felt very guilty.

" Go Flit, I don't want to see your family show up in front of me", I cut her words in anger.

Flit looked sadly at me, we've been friends for quite a while. He is a very good brother in my opinion. But I broke off that friendship in one sentence of anger. And I don't care, I'll destroy anyone who hurts my woman.

Juan stood with blood filling his body. He looked sadly at Dew, I know he was sorry for what happened. But I don't care, he hurt Dew. He almost killed Dew.

Without looking at Juan I said in a trembling voice restraining the emotion of "Juan! Enough Meggy. .. Don't Dew. Please".

Juan looked at my words. He stood there long enough. Then he took a few steps back and left the outpatient room covered in blood, Flit followed him from behind.

After them the room felt very quiet. Only the sound of a medical device that sounds regularly, raises the graph of life signs from Dewun. I see the ring I gave you is still embedded in Dew's ring finger. I was crying, crying.

" What are you doing? what the hell happened to you? Wake up dew ! Please", I kissed the top of his head. My heart was sad, I was crushed to see the Dew fall silent.

After a long time, I called Adam to tell him about the situation. And they came to Jogjakarta the next day.

***