Paper Dove

I'M GOING TO JUAN

I was half-conscious when I heard someone speak "It seems like the madam is in shock sir. And I've cleaned the wound on the sole of the mistress's foot. There are stitches that will later have to be treated", the doctor explained to Juan. 

" Okay, thank you. I'll take care of him later ", Juan answered briefly.

I opened my eyes and found Juan there. I started crying, my tears just came out when I saw Juan. The feeling I realize right now is, I feel very disappointed in what Juan did to me, I am disappointed to see Juan changing so much. I was disappointed to find that he was not the same person he was. Juan hurt me, his love hurt me.

" Your seed is awake?  please don't cry anymore", Juan said softly as he approached the bed. 

I pulled the blanket over me refusing to see Juan. I hate him, I hate him so much. I feel like I just want to die, I don't feel like I deserve to see Nandes again. What should I say if I meet Nandes?. It's been 3 days that Juan brought me here, I don't know if Nandes and Elsa are looking for me or not.

Juan sat by my bed. He stayed there for a long time. I stayed in my blanket. My clothes have been changed in my sleeping pajamas. I don't care who changed it, Juan saw me. There's nothing I can hide from him.

" Dew calm yourself. I will be responsible for everything I do to you. Ilove you. I have no intention of hurting you dear", Juan said softly. "I'll go to the office, you rest. I'll be home soon", Juan said slowly. 

I didn't say anything and I didn't mean to say anything. As long as Juan left I sat on the bed thinking about my life. Staring at the ring given by Nandes, it all disappears due to an obsession.

Accounts started crying again. I walked to the bathroom, doused myself with water and rubbed my body with soap many times. My body became red because I rubbed it rough. I cried under the shower.

I feel dirty, I'm not a good woman, I hate my life. I'm sorry to see Juan, I hate him. 

I spent hours in the bathroom. After feeling better I put on my clothes and went back to bed. I refuse to eat. Everything they give me I don't touch. I intend to fight Juan my way, Juan will never have me. 

It seemed that the servant told Juan about me refusing to eat and drink. I just slept in my bed all day. Juan came and scolded all the servants because I refused to eat. He's full of emotion, but I'm not afraid of him. 

Juan came to my room. He sat on the bedside. " Beautiful, why don't you eat?", Juan asked gently holding my hand. 

I shook his hand and did not answer. Juan frustrated "Dew please don't torture me like this. You look pale and weak. I'll bribe you?", Juan again grabbed my hand. 

"I'm not hungry Juan. Go awayl. Leave me alone", I keep my eyes closed. 

Juan was impatient, he grabbed me and sat me on the bed gently. I opened my eyes, worried Juan would do that to me. 

" I was wrong. I admit I was wrong. But please eat. Don't torture yourself like this", Juan looked me gently in the eye. 

I cried "I don't want to. Let me die", I'm frustrated. 

" Why are you saying something like this? Can you be happy with me? I love you", Juan shook my body slowly. 

" No Juan. You don't love me, you're obsessed with me. Ye…. Kicking at me. Your obsession ruined my life", I yelled pushing the food trolley made everything fall and break. 

Juan was angry he was so angry. He approached me and kissed me angrily, my heart breaking. My tears are united with our kiss. 

" I love you Dew with all my heart, all these years I thought of you. You're with Nandes, you sleep with him, you laugh with him, I hate that. From the beginning you were mine. I follow you wherever you go. But when I came, you rejected me. I'm sick, I want to lean on you. Give me what you gave to Nandes. Love, affection, your body should be mine ", Juan yelled at me.

 " You've been following me all this time? kidnap me, rape me and lock me up here? You're crazy ", I yelled at him. 

" I'm a crazy Dew. Crazy because of you, I should have approached you from the beginning. Don't let your feelings grow on Nandes. Haha. ", Juan stood up to approach me. "that night you wanted me too", Juan smiled at me. 

" If it wasn't for the medicine I would never have been touched by you Juan" I cried. 

" Dew remove the broken glass. I'm sorry", Juan took another step forward his voice turned soft. 

" Don't come any closer. I hate you", I look at Juan full of hate.

Two bodyguards stood behind me. I'm heading in the other direction. Juan psychopath, he's completely insane. 

" Dew you remember the paper pigeon I gave you? I still fold it to give it to you for years. I love you, I always miss you", Juan said softly. 

I didn't budge, I lifted the broken glass towards Juan and Juan's bodyguards alternately. 

Juan's patience runs out "If you stay like this. I'm going to completely destroy Nandes ", Juan threatened me.  He picked up his phone and called someone, asking him within 24 hours to withdraw shares from the company owned by Nandes and Adam, after which he hung up. 

" I can still cancel if you think dear" Juan spoke softly and took a step forward. 

I looked at Juan with a sad look. I took a deep breath "You really love me Juan? ", i asked. 

" Of course beautiful, I love you" Juan smiled at me who began to obey. 

I smiled at her with a sad feeling "But why does your love hurt me? Why did your love kill me? You're not the Juan I know. My first love is dead. I ... ", I looked at Juan in "I'm going to go with my first love", I instantly slashed my veins. It wasn't hard for me to cut it down properly given my background as a medical expert. 

Blood spurted out along with Juan's scream. I've been determined, if it's because I'm Nandes destroyed and if it's because I'm Juan's crazy what I'm living for. I don't deserve to go back to Nandes and I don't want to be with Juan. 

I saw my fresh blood flowing down the floor. And Juan caught my body. One of them pressed my wrist with a dry cloth. I looked at Juan crying to see me.

" Dew forgive me. I'm sorry. . Don't do this. Dew please", Juan cried hugging my head. " Prepare the jerk car fast", Juan roared at someone.

Juan looked at me "Dew please stay sober", Juan stroked my face. I smiled at him and looked up at the ceiling of my room, praying in my heart.

" God if this is the end of my life, tell Nandes that I love him". 

After that I felt floating, my heart was pounding fast and I closed my eyes. Goodby.

***