Paper Dove

NANDES: JUST SLOW DOWN

I was carrying the car at high speed. Anger peaked in my chest, as the traffic light turned red I stomped on the car brakes firmly. My breath hunts because my stress hormones escalate into anger.

 To channel my anger I hit the steering wheel many times strongly and shouted in the car like a madman. Buk. buk...uk... "arrrhhhh". I was angry, very angry. Imagining Juan's face makes my blood boil. I should have killed him by then.

" Fuckers... Fuck. .", I'm haunting Maki in the car.

What have I been doing all this time? Just lamenting my broken heart without finding out the truth. Crying and blaming Dew every night, every day. Hating her, threatening her, locking her up and calling her the evil woman without knowing how much she suffered Dew in her deep trauma. What's the difference between me and Juan? same as animals.

I feel the most pain because everything that happens shows how stupid I am. Imagining how much she suffered back then made my chest tight. How could he try to smile every time I was with him? pretending to laugh happily?. How can I let my woman be treated badly by a man who says he loves her? The man he used to like the most. The world is crazy, completely crazy. Why should God's Dewunku?. My tears are falling.

" Nandes, if you go into the bathroom Dew. You will find 3 different types of soap. You know why? Because the dew feels very dirty. The form of trauma that still remains today" , Elsa said it with a trembling voice. Every word Elsa put out was jolted in my head. The sound of another car's horn restores my concentration. I stepped on the gas inside and drove towards the apartment. 

***

I was standing at the door of the apartment for a long time. When I opened the apartment door I saw a pair of women's shoes, Dew was here. With heavy footsteps I entered the living room. Looking around looking for the figure of the woman I love and found her lying on the sofa. 

I approached him and fell to my knees when I saw his sleeping face. My heart was broken to pieces. The woman I thought was evil suffered more than me.  To bear the nightmare that hurt his heart the most. I was crying like that. Right now I'm the most beautiful man I've ever shown to anyone. 

Hearing my crying sound the Dew woke up. " Nandes, what's wrong with you? Are you sick?", Dew directly held onto my forehead.

Still on my knees I grabbed her into my arms and my tears wet her hair. " What's up? Why are you crying? What's the matter Nandes?", Dew spoke in my arms. 

" Dew. Forgive me for not knowing what you've been up to all this time. That nightmare. I'm sorry", my voice is heavy.

His body stiffened in my arms. The silent dew "me. me. ", his body trembled because I re-examined the past he was trying to bury. His hand gripped tightly onto my shirt, I grabbed his face to look at him.

Dew's face looked shocked "me .. I don't deserve you. Let go of me.", Dew said softly. 

I looked at his sad face "Hear Dew. You are the best for me. I love you no matter what. I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you. I'm sorry I don't know anything. I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you company back then.  You are everything to me. Although the world is collapsing, even if I am reborn I will still love you", I said sincerely by looking right into the bead of his eyes. 

The Dew cry broke out, he hugged me firmly. As if she had shed all her solitude all this time, she was crying as if. I hugged her tightly, crashing all her cries that slashed my heart. No words were spoken from him, but I could feel the pain of his heart. Dew kept crying until she was tired and fell asleep in my arms. I held her up and put her on the bed, carried her in my arms, hugged her tightly as if to pay for all my stupidity all along.

I kissed her forehead, her eyelids and cleaned her tears with my fingers.

" I love you Dew", I said softly.

***

I woke up in the morning and found Dew still lying in my arms. My eyes look around this bedroom, this apartment is still the same as it used to be, it just looks spacious because the furniture is reduced. 

I kissed Dew's forehead, he moved slowly. Her eyes seemed a little swollen from crying all night. The dew squirmed and opened his eyes and looked at me. He smiled, the smile I looked forward to every morning. It was a smile that made me understand how much I loved her. I looked at her like I didn't want to miss her every move.

" You're not going to the office?", Dew asked in a hoarse voice. 

" You sound like a lazy CEO", Dew squinted at me. 

I smiled, I clasped his hand and put it on my cheek "this company is mine, so I can do anything".I can feel the warmth of his hand on my face. 

I looked at him in "Dew, can we start over? Our relationship?", I fell silent for a moment and continued "I will demand nothing but your love for me. I'll wait", I kissed the back of his hand. 

Dew smiled "thank you Nandes. Can we start from scratch like a couple in general?".

" yes. Whatever you want", I looked at her with affection. Drowns my face in her hair.

Dew smiled "many things I want to do with you", Dew hugged me. 

" Whatever baby", I'll agree. 

" Because you're on leave today. I want us to take a walk. While holding hands", the Dew looked up at me. 

" Could", my blood rippled in restraint from tucking his lips. 

" Where are you going to take me today?", Dew asked.

" Secret", I hugged him.

" But before we carry out this secret mission. Can we have breakfast?", Dew changes position to sit.

I pulled him to lie down again in my arms. " Ah, I'm full of staring at you", I'm trying to race.

A little pinch in my stomach from the Dew. " Take me off. You know if I don't eat breakfast I can get stressed. Breakfast is important for our health because we have to do activities throughout the day", Dew began to roar.

I covered my face with a pillow "well, start this education again".

" iss... ", the Dew hit my arm irritated at refusing to listen to his speech.

I laughed because I managed to tease him "Yes, let's order a meal outside. Here not kitchen furniture", I went down from the bed.

Dew does not move, remains still sitting in the middle of the bed.

"Otherwise?", I asked patiently.

Dew spread out her hands, I smiled and grabbed her in my arms. There is a little relief in my heart. We're not discussing anything anymore, because I know Dew is recovering. I want to start a new chapter with her, showing how much I love her and will take care of her wholeheartedly throughout my life.

***