Paper Dove

I'M JUAN

3 Months ago on the day of marriage…

I sat quietly staring at the tall building out there. My work room looked dark, there was only one dim light from a lamp in the corner of the room.

A gold-colored Invitation that had not yet opened was located under my feet, beside the invitation was scattered paper pigeon-shaped origami that I folded originally in anxiety. A glass glass filled with alcoholic beverages in my right hand and a lit cigarette in my left hand. 

Someone knocked on the door of the study and walked in without a sound, like waiting for a question from me he stood speechless in his place.

“ How?”, I asked in a slightly hoarse voice. 

“ I've seen it sir. Mrs Dewun looks very happy, I included her picture when married if you want to see mr ”, The man gave a report.

I took a heavy breath and exhaled it long “ Thank goodness. Leave that photo on the table and you can go”, the order is firm.

“ Good Mr. Juan. I'm sorry”, the man resigned. 

After the man left, I turned off the cigarette in my hand and turned towards the table. Grabbing one of the photos of Dew, looking at her very pretty face with a touch of makeup and she wears a white wedding dress. Dew seemed to smile happily in the photo and I smiled bitterly looking at him. I should have been the one standing next to her at this moment, waiting for her at the altar and putting a ring on her ring finger.

I squeezed the photo of Dew in my hand firmly. Jealousy, sadness and anger mixed in. I threw a glass at the door, making the fragments scatter. My tears fell to my cheeks. I cried in the darkness, roared bitterly for my broken heart, wept for my departed inmate. 

 

Regretting my stupidity, regretting my sins to him. If I had been more patient, if I had been calmer like I used to be, maybe he would have come back to me. I killed my love, I destroyed it my way.

The shadow of the blood pouring out still haunts me. What a bastard I am who can still hold sorrow for his happiness. I should be happy for him. I am not even worthy of mentioning his name at this time.

“ Arkkkhhhh…. Goddamned it.. Arkhich…. Dewun”, I shouted his name in my grief. I threw everything in front of me. Then fall lying next to the table with a photo of Dew “ Dew forgive me... I love you..”, my tears sag. Life's ruined. 

***

Someone woke me up slowly. "mister, master Juan it's morning", the voice of Doni my personal assistant sounded distant and faint.

I blinked a few times and saw Doni crouching beside me. The state of the room seemed chaotic, items scattered everywhere. I pulled my body off the cold floor to sit and lean on the desk. 

“ What time is it?”, I asked in a hoarse voice.

“ Hours 7 am, saturday”, Doni explains.

I nodded, my head hurt like it was about to break, my body also hurt a lot. I slept on the floor all night holding a picture of Dew. I put the picture in my pocket and stood up.

“ Doni, prepare the car. I want to rest at hotel”, I'm a little stretch.

“ Good sir. To remind today in the main house there is dinner with tuan”, Doni reminded me of my weekend schedule.

“ Ck, they can't even let me calm down at weekend”, I grumbled.  

Doni bowed respectfully then gave way to me to pass by. I walked quietly out of my room, the atmosphere of the 24th floor seemed quiet. Because the weekend all employees must be having fun with their families.

“ Prepare the car, sir will be to Paradise” hotel, Doni talk on the phone. Unnecessary rumbling in my opinion.

“ Doni”, I called him while in the elevator.

“ Burn all photos and files about it. I let go from now”, I speak in a heavy voice.

Doni was silent for a while then replied “ well tuan”.

***

In the evening I visited our main house. Before getting out of the car I stared at the house without any interest. 

“ Doni, Which woman did my mother bring this time?”.

“ Second son of Pharmaceutical Company Xone tuan”, doni handed a tablet to me.

“ No need”, I rejected the tablet and got off the car directly.

I walked into the house with Doni walking behind me. The waiter standing in line at the entrance bowed respectfully. A butler in a full black suit greeted me.

“ Welcome sir. Madam is waiting for you”.

I did not answer the greeting, directly walked towards the dining room and found everyone had gathered there except my brother Flitz of course.

He came out of the house after his mother did not approve of him marrying the woman that my mother thought came from among ‘bia’. I was the only one who came to her wedding back then, she looked happy. Although I hated him half to death because he ran away from the responsibility of being the heir to the company and I ended up being a victim, but I could not deny I loved him my brother. He was the one who helped me in my depression.

“ Dear you have reached”, my mother greets.

“ Hello mom”, I took a seat at the end of the table where my father used to sit. automatically after my father died I was the head in this house. But I don't like living in this house.

We started dinner in an atmosphere far from warm. In the middle of the meal my mother started a conversation that I already knew where she was going. 

“ Dear, can you meet tomorrow with the candidate that I chose for you?”, my mother spoke carefully.

I kept cutting the meat on my plate. Seeing that I wasn't angry my mother continued.

“ Her name is Naomi, her father has the best Pharmacy company. His son is also kind and I want you to meet him. It would be better if you fit in with him and you guys get married”, my mom started making speeches.

I put a spoon and fork on the plate because it started to lose appetite. “ Bella, how was your school?”, I ignored my mother's request.

My sister is happy because I noticed her “ Me, soon kak” exam.

“ Good. I hope you can pass with good grades”, I look at him attentively. My youngest sister, I must keep away from my mother's possessive attitude.

“ Juan, mom is talking to kamu”, my mom is getting angry because I ignored her.

I took a deep breath looking at my mother's attitude which was always like this “ Mother I won't meet that woman. Please stop talking to those women. I'mtired. I'll break”, I stand up and then leave the room to the room.

“ Juan... My son.. Juan listen to mama du”, my mother screams calling me in an annoyed tone.

I ignored him and continued to climb the stairs to my room. I like to organize and interfere in my personal affairs and I hate that. For months he was busy looking for a partner for me. And for months I kept ignoring her requests. That's just one reason out of a thousand reasons I don't want to live in this house.

***