Paper Dove

LOVE OR ESCAPE?

I treated Jeni all morning, her temperature reached 38.9 I gave the medicine as recommended by Dr. Brata. Compress it after seeing a video on utub about how to reduce body heat when sick at home. In the end I fell asleep after confirming the temperature was 37.6 degrees. 

I woke up because Jeni was moving in her sleep. I was in a daze looking around and was shocked that Jeni called my name. 

“ Juan, I haus”, he said.

“ Yes Jeni, are you thirsty? what do you want to drink? Orange juice, water or milk? tea?”, manyu.

Jeni smiled a little weakly. “ Warm White Water Juan”, he said. 

“ Oke”, I rush to the kitchen and take warm water. When Jeni returned to sleep, I woke her up slowly.

“ Hey, let's drink water”, I stroked her cheeks.

Jeni wakes up and I help her to drink. After that Jeni went back to sleep, I covered her with a thin blanket like the one I saw on utub. It seems like Jeni is going through severe stress from meeting her stepmother, what are they doing until she gets scared like this. 

I took a deep breath and climbed on the bed with her and hugged her affectionately. 

“ Juan.. I stink haven't bathe”, Jeni speaks softly. 

“ Hmm.. I know, right now you smell sour because of sweat. But I'm still gonna hug you. Let's sleep”, I said as I closed my eyes. 

I woke up at about 1 p.m. When Jeni woke up no longer next to me, I looked around and heard the sound of the shower in the bathroom.  Our lunch was near the bed. Doni must have come to make sure we were. 

I didn't get out of bed but kept lying around waiting for Jeni to come out of the bathroom. For a while I closed my eyes, making sure that I would not fall asleep. Jeni came bowing near me and noticed my face. 

“ You are in love with my face?”, I asked while keeping my eyes closed. 

“ Yes.. I fell in love with you”, he said. 

I opened my eyes and found him looking at me at a very close distance. His amber-colored eyes seemed to hypnotize me, they were no longer as cute as they were last night. Her face looked fresher and her smile was so sweet that it made me drunk. 

“ Me or my face?”, I ask again. 

“ To you and your face, I am a realistic honest woman. Even though I'm not beautiful I have to get handsome. Even though I am poor I have to get rich ”, the answer makes me laugh. 

I pulled him and fell asleep next to me. I clung to one of my hands and looked at him. 

“ In the future if you want to cry come to me and cry in my arms. Remember what I said cry in my arms so that others do not see your cry and only I can hear your cry”, I caress her cheek. 

Jeni smiled at me, she then hugged me tightly. “ Thank you for taking care of me all night Juan. Actually there's something I didn't tell you”. 

“ My stepmother once came to see me at the flower shop, back then I could control myself”, Jeni started telling stories. 

I honestly knew that Hartanto's wife had come to see him. It's just that I don't know what Jeni's talking about that's what I'm curious about. 

“ he's looking for you? for what?”, I asked. 

“ He wants me to go back into the family and take you home to get to know the big family. I know he wants to bring your name to make the family business better. She wanted me to arrange dinner with you”, Jeni told me shyly. 

“ I'm sorry Juan, I shouldn't have brought you into my family's troubles. Aunt thinks I sold myself to you and still can't believe you married me. Auntie said if I can't take you home then she'll sell my flower shop. I refused because I knew he didn't have the certificate. Turns out we met accidentally with them, I'm sorry Juan. I'm afraid they did something bad to you” he continued. 

I hugged him tightly and then kissed the top of his head. 

“ Do you know who I am?  I am an Asian dragon, who would dare me?”, I said calming him down. 

Jeni laughed at my answer. “ Yes. forgive me for forgetting that you are naga”, he said in a casual voice.

I laughed and just then my stomach rang. Jeni looked at me. 

“ Yes... can we have lunch?”, I asked as I continued to hug her. 

“ How to have lunch while hugging?”, he asked.

I laughed and then broke my arms. We had lunch in bed and talked about this and that. 

***

I visited the construction of my hotel. While standing and leaning on the hood of the car I waited for someone to come. Moments later a car came and stopped near me, I dropped a cigarette and turned it off with my shoe. 

Adam got out of the car and welcomed my hand. He smiled cheerfully.

“ Bro, how are you?”, I hugged him. 

“ Good news. You how are you?”, Adam returned my warm embrace. 

I haven't seen Adam in a long time, only Adam has always supported me and calmed me down as a friend. But his wife Elsa, of course, always hated me. 

“ You look older Adam”, I said seeing his slightly tired face. 

“ Two kids bro “, he shook his head. 

I laughed at his confession. Adam really changed a lot, he became more mature and calm. It's not like I've been swimming in the past.

“ How is Elsa?”, I asked. 

“ Good and growing beautiful”, replied Adam. 

I nodded like I wanted to ask again about the other woman but no words came out. 

“ She is also happy Juan, stop thinking about her. Throw away your past, your guilt almost kills you”, Adam lights his cigarette. 

I smiled at Adam. A long friendship proved that Adam knew my heart. 

“ Thank goodness “, I replied.

“ Juan, aren't you married?”, Adam asked. 

“ Yes, I married a sweet girl who innoc”, I answered lit a new cigarette. 

“ Escape or love?”, asked Adam unceremoniously. 

I took a deep breath as if thinking about that question. 

“ I don't know Dam. I like him but I don't know if I'll love him. I wanted it but I felt inappropriate. I was fascinated by her but I tried to avoid her charms so I wouldn't fall. But the jerk out of me is I don't want to let go”, I admit and then blow my cigarette smoke into the air. 

Adam faithfully listened to my every word. 

“ I was afraid when I touched it I would look like an animal. I'm with him because sometimes I still think about Dew. With this woman sometimes I forget about my crimes. I wanted to swim but my training skil did not develop at all. I want to forget about Dew but my mistake is too big to forget”. 

There was a momentary silence between us. Adam and I both enjoyed the cigarette in each other's hands, while paying attention to the busyness that was happening in front of us. 

“ Juan, I can only give you advice as a friend. If you can't forget your guilt keep it in your heart, bury it deep in your heart. Let only you know how that feels. And for your wife at this time, decide your heart Juan. Love him if you want to love him, let go if it's just an escape. I've known you for a long time, use your wits Juan. Do not fall in the same mud”, Advice Adam. 

I was silent at Adam's exact words about my heart. On the way home, I was stuck in the car. What I should do. Love him or let him go? I'm directional blind. 

***