Paper Dove

YOU'RE NOT MY SISTER

This awkward situation does not seem to end. I refused to see Nandes' face. 

" Are you trying to do me a favor?", Nandes asked quietly. "where did the fiery courage go yesterday?", Nandes whispered in my ear. 

Feeling her breath in my ear made my blood flow like it was rustling. I ventured to look at him. His eyes stared intently at me, the eyes of a man who held himself back for many years. 

" I . .. just... I..", I was nervous.

" Do you want to be sure if I see you as a woman or not? ", nandes guessed.

The exact guess that made my pupils dilate. " Are you a psychic?", I said as I tried to release myself, but of course Nandes locked me in firmly.

Instead of answering my question, Nandes said, "I still like you. Listen carefully Dew. I held myself for years to watch you wander before my eyes, inside my house, grabbing me in your arms at will without thinking about my heart that was barely out of place. That smile you became my sister? But I can't take it". 

I just kept quiet hearing word for word that seemed like it was about to spew out on me.

" The reason you labeled me as a big brother I was able to hold it up until yesterday, when you came out and showed me your open back, I decided to stop this game. I won't accept you as a brother or sister anymore? When you enter my house and wander before my eyes I will see you as a woman. You know what I mean? As an adult woman not a High School kid".

My face feels hot, I think the air temperature in this room becomes a little sultry. I understand the meaning of his words. 

" So since you've opened an opportunity for me to Dew, I'll declare it today. I still feel the same way about you then and now. And I want you as much as I'm patiently waiting for you. I want you to be with me but not by force like this but by your own will. Right now I'm gonna make you remember that you're not my sister". 

After saying so Nandes kissed my lips gently. I who have zero experience for this is silent and rigid, not knowing what I should do. Nandes gently forced open my mouth with his tongue and ******** discharged until I was out of breath, warm feeling hit my mouth, my body slightly stiffened due to the sensation given by Nandes. For a moment I was lulled by the mixture of alcoholic beverages and cigarettes that entered my mouth. Until Nandes stopped and looked at me. Our breath is hunting. I admit it, Nandes' kiss made me weak but somehow I wanted it again.

" This is a sign that I refuse to be called brother", Nandes then kissed my neck and whispered in my ear "It seems like your first kiss? I'll teach you a lot of Dew stuff and I love your back ". 

She relaxed her grip and helped me sit up, gently rubbed my hair and walked out of the house leaving me alone in the living room with an empty look. 

***

Nandes didn't come back until dawn, I didn't even meet him when I was leaving for work. I didn't know if he was coming home or not last night. My body's at work but my mind's still on the scene last night. I took a deep breath, I liked the sensation when he touched me, I liked looking into his eyes, I liked it when he sighed because of me.

" Tongue? ", i remember what I did last night. How Nandes' Tongue passes every inch of my mouth. There is a different feeling in my heart. This is my hottest kiss.

" yes doctor... The patient's tongue falls backward continuously, so we can not install NGT¹", continued the nurse. 

"Oh yes, let's put it up. Prepare the tools", I try to focus. 

I am grateful because tonight the work room is quite calm. I was able to rest in the guard room while contemplating Nandes' words. What am I supposed to do now? what pretended to be deaf and came straight to his house. But I'd be awkward myself. What if I agree to her invitation to be together? am I in love? or just a moment?

I opened up my social media, and remembered the woman who was with Nandes at the time. I looked up social media and found. Monica Wijaya, beautiful, tall, sexy, rich, made friends with celebrities, diligent in sports and saw her picture while with Nandes. They smiled happily at the camera. 

“ Waah see the face of Nandes.. very happy when taking pictures. What she still likes me..see her hand on this woman's waist. ha ha ha”, I laughed cynically. 

I closed my social media with a feeling of anger that came out of nowhere. I stood up and looked in the mirror and looked at myself.I'm also beautiful, I'm tall, my eyes are good, I'm just lazy to exercise but I'm not fat. I straightened my hair and posed like a model. Smile at the mirror and chest. If anyone saw me like this they would think I was out of my mind. 

After I got tired I laid myself on the bed and took a breath. “ Shit I'm crazy”, I covered my face with both hands. Then remembered the words Nandes when SMA first. Don't ever tell me to stop dew. Because if you tell me to stop I'll walk towards you. If you tell me to walk then I will run towards you.

“ Haaaaah..”, I exhaled quite hard. “ Nandes seems like I'm walking right now towards you. Did you feel it?”, I muttered to myself.

***

I stretched my body. Shit today I didn't bring a car, did I take a taxi. I walked to the exit to find a taxi. I finally had a holiday after a full moon. I waltzed leisurely and sat at the bus stop while listening to the earphone's song. 

The morning weather this week was quite calm, I noticed people passing by on foot and there were some riding bicycles. They seem to be happy with their activities. I'm daydreaming, I don't know what I think in my head. How many taxis have passed but I don't care. I was enjoying this beautiful morning. 

A man sitting next to me broke my daydream, this man wearing a hat and hoodie, as well as sunglasses, then a mask. I shifted my seat a little away. The man shifted his seat slightly towards me after which he nodded at me like a greeting. I didn't respond, seeing a taxi coming from far away I was standing on the sidewalk. The man stood up, I tried to calm down. The taxi stopped right in front of me when I saw that man wanted to get to me. I quickly got into the taxi. As my taxi passed, I saw the man still standing on the sidewalk still observing the direction of the taxi I was riding.

" Waa crazy now a lot of crazy", I menggedumel himself, make the taxi driver look wonder at me.

***