Is it My fault, If I Desire Heaven..??

Istikharah

That night the water flowed from the faucet in front of the Rose.

Roses look still pensive in front of him, does this have to be..??, he murmured inwardly.

He took a deep breath, and resigned to whatever God's decision would be.

Flowing water soaked the skin of his face, hands and feet, he took ablution before performing the prayers of istikharah according to the advice of his mother and mother.

He held a prayer mat and prepared to wear his face.

He said his intention and prayed fervently.

He gave it up and gave it all to God at that time.

He is determined, whatever is best for him he will accept.

,"السَّلامُ عليكم ورحمةُ اللهِ، السَّلامُ عليكم ورحمةُ اللهِ "

The rose ended her prayer.

The rose lifted up her hand and prayed to acknowledge her low before God.

He asked for mercy from God more and more.

He prays that the people he loves are always healthy and happy.

She prayed that she could educate Fatimah to be a woman who understood Islam in her heart.

He is grateful for the gift of God, the abundant fortune and a brilliant career.

At the end of his prayer he recited the prayer over his dilemma.

"Allahumma inni astakhii-ruka bi ‘ilmika, wa astaq-diruka bi qud-ratika, wa as-aluka min fadh-likal adziim, fa in-naka taq-diru wa laa aq-diru, etc, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lamu, wa anta ‘allaamul ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta’lamu anna hadzal amro khoiron lii fii dinii wa ma’aasyi wa ‘aqibati amrii faq-dur-hu lii, wa yas-sirhu lii, tsumma baarik lii fiiiihi. Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadzal amro syarrun lii fii fii dinii wa ma’aasyi wa ‘aqibati amrii, fash-rifhu ‘annii was-rifnii ‘anhu, waqdur lial khoiro haitsu kaana tsumma ardhi-nii bih.

O God, if he in Your knowledge is good to me, good to my religion, good to my present and future life, predestine it and make it easy for me.

Then give me a blessing from him.

But if in Your knowledge he will bring disaster to me and to my religion, bring consequences in my life whether present or future, keep him away from me and keep me away from him.

May You do me good, for You are Powerful over all things, Amen.....

Unaware of the Rose, Geyna stood at the door of her room, looking at her from the open door.

The bottle of drinking water he took from the kitchen he held tightly and occasionally he squeezed.

After hearing that his son had accepted his god so much, he walked back to his room.

He sat by the bed and cried without a sound.

Pastri's sister who slept in the room with him woke up to the sound of sobs and weeping.

"Mami...??, mami why..??, mami's stomach hurts again...??", exclaimed mbak Lastri afraid Geyna drop again after kidney surgery which is still a few days ago he passed.

He wiped his tears and held both hands mbak Lastri, making mbak Lastri even more astonished made.

"Sir.!!, what kind of woman are you, who can educate my son to such an extent that he is so obedient to his religion, he steps his feet in accordance with the instructions of his god, while I, who is, am, walk his feet according to the guidance of his god, teaching him to learn to walk was not" said Geyna as he pleased in front of the lastri.

"It's the noodles, it's the Rose with her own life choice, not because of me or anyone" said Miss Lastri to appease Geyna.

"Because he was born from my womb, ugly ink haunting his life, he was underestimated by the people around him, even when he made a choice of his life partner" Geyna said in tears in front of Ms Lastri.

"God has his own plan for the Rose mi, believe me, there will be a rainbow in the Rose's life after it", mbak Lastri hugged Geyna who kept blaming herself for all the bad things that happened to Roses.

While the rose after his prayer, walking towards the window, he opened the window of his room and felt the night wind that hit his face until it penetrated into his skin.

It was raining that night.

The moon did not show its light.

Then his gaze was fixed on a moth insect that entered his room.

The rose looked at him carefully, the moth probably entered because he thought this was the safest place for him.

And before long, the lizard approached right next to the moth.

Finally, lizards eat it as a delicious dinner at night.

Maybe if I became a moth, my heart would also point me toward the light and a place that could keep me from the rain, but in fact, my choice could be wrong, and sure enough, he said, the heart intention of the moth wants to find shade and a safe place but it instead becomes a delicious meal of a lizard, murmured Rose in the heart.

He closed the window and slept beside Fatimah.

He stroked the tiny baby beside him, which was growing and growing more healthy.

"Health is always Fatimah" said Roses closed his eyes and went back to sleep.