Is it My fault, If I Desire Heaven..??

Stay calm in anger

During the riot caused by Geyna in the boarding school a few days ago.

Mr. Kyai just visited the pesantren today.

He did not know that the Rose was no longer in the pesantren.

All he knew was that there was a woman who went berserk looking for the Rose yesterday, which he had suspected was Geyna.

The car drove in through the pesantren gate.

Accidentally Pak Kyai went straight to the Rose cottage, the intention of the heart he wanted to see the condition of the Rose directly.

Pak Kyai tried to look at the cottage where the Roses sewed with the santri, but strangely the cottage had no one in it.

"Any..??, usually at this time the cottage is crowded" said Pak Kyai then headed to the cottage where the Rose lived.

He looked around.

Tumben this cottage is not clean as usual, murmured pak kyai in the heart.

Tok.tokkp.

"Assalammualaikum, Roses.??, buk Lastri.??", exclaimed sir kyai astonished, there is no answer from inside the hut.

everything was quiet as if it was uninhabited.

Mr. Kyai then walked towards the office of the teachers and administrators.

"Assalammualaikum", said Pak Kyai entering the office room.

It seems that the teachers and administrators look at Pak Kyai with unusual views, like there is a fear they saw the arrival of Pak kyai.

"Walaikumsalam pak kyai" said one of the teachers by rushing to kiss the back of Pak kyai's hand.

"I want to ask, Where is the rose.??, does he have any business outside.??" asked mr. Kyai.

Teachers and managers look at each other.

"Sorry Mr. Kyai, after the incident, we decided that the Roses and Pastri buk should not stay in this pesantren anymore" said one of the other teachers.

Mr. Kyai was silent, he looked at everyone he thought was wise enough to judge something.

"On what basis did you decide that.??" said Pak Kyai firmly.

"We just don't want any other victims like Nia pak kyai, and we don't want Roses to be bad examples and tarnish the good name of this pesantren pak kyai" said one teacher defending themselves.

"Then you think you are better than the Rose.??", asked Pak Kyai still with his calm attitude.

The teachers looked at each other again, they did not answer Pak kyai's question this time.

"You are no better than the Rose, you cannot see in yourself, you can only see what your eyes have seen", said Mr. Kyai with glassy eyes.

"What does mr. kyai mean ..?", asked a astonished manager.

Pak Kyai let out a long sigh and turned his back to them.

"You know, how great the struggle of the Rose escaped from its past.??, and do you know.??, the good name of this pesantren is good because of people like the Rose, and is it, and this pesantren has an ugly image because it has a teacher like you.!!", said mr. kyai.

"Who are we???" said another teacher.

"You just don't want and are confused if someone rebukes you like this, how can you rebuke the Rose and do not hesitate to throw it.??, but it is also not his fault, think well.!!, well..!!, who better.???, 10 teachers, or 1 girl like the Rose", said Pak Kyai wipe his tears that fell and passed away to Musholah.

Teachers and managers dream of each other.

They think of Mr. Kyai's words.

Is it right or wrong that they have done this time...??.

While Pak kyai, praying and crying, praying on the prayer mat.

Pak Kyai did not expect, the teacher he chose as an educator in his boarding school had such an attitude.

He apologized to God, and to the Rose and her mother.

He was unable to carry out the mandate of protecting a girl sholehah like the Rose in his boarding school.

Mr. Kyai prayed that the Roses would get their happiness out there later.

And mr. Kyai was given the opportunity to witness that happiness also later.

May he always be in the protection of Allah.

رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

"Rabbana-ghfir alaina shabran wa tsabbit aqdaamana wanshurna ala-qaumil-kaafirin."

It means: “Our Lord, spill your steadfastness upon us, set our stand, and win us over the disbelievers."

"Aminnn" said Pak Kyai closed his prayer, with his cry which then broke.

Truly today, mr. Kyai feels very fragile in the face of life.

The santri who saw him then lowered his face for a moment.

Those who insulted the rose yesterday are now ashamed of their actions.

Those who are raised and educated in this pesantren do not guarantee their hearts are clean and holy.