Deepest Wound

UNDECIDED

...Happy reading...

A few minutes ago I got a call from Santi and some friends who were also from a chat group that they are currently in a cafe. Because the location of the cafe is not too far from home I was prepared to go there. Coincidentally I was also no activity during the week I have not been out of the house at all post from the beach last week.

“No intention to follow us all?” Ask Riska who I understand for whom the question is intended.

I just smiled while enjoying the fresh avocado juice served by the cafe waiter in front of me.

“Still at home, Nit.” Others also say.

“Makanya, help dong so that our friends can be followed as soon as possible,” Sahut Maghda chimed. “Yesterday in time for approach even diem-dieman doang. I'm like ABG who is still shy but wants to, gtu,” he said again.

I've guessed it must be those who planned it. Santi and Maghda must be the mastermind.

“But you should not rush too, there is still plenty of time to think about it all. Enjoy your solitude by doing things that make you happy. Don't be like me,” said Gea smiling bland while stirring her orange juice with a pipette in the glass.

She has been separated from her husband for almost two years because her husband often does KDRT. Even their divorce trial has not been completed due to Gea who fled the city where her husband lived because he could not stand it anymore. While her husband deliberately did not continue to take care of their divorce deed so that no one dared to marry Gea because she was still a wife. While he does not have enough money to pay a lawyer to take care of his divorce hearing.

Gea was once the son of a rich man who lived well. His father was a businessman but since losing the election he was suddenly sickly to spend so much money to seek treatment before finally dying. After her father died, Gea's stepmother remarried and moved out of town with her new husband. Luckily his parents' house is still there so he still has a place to stay.

“From the first time I have said, mending you just stay because time is still dating only he has dared to hurt you. But you're hoping she'll change when she gets married and has kids. What proof is it now? You are not allowed to meet your own child,” Riska's nagging that makes Gea's face momentarily down.

Santi immediately nudged Riska not to judge Gea like that even though Riska's speech had a point. Riska and Gea are always close, continuing their education at the same school, so it is natural that Riska knows more about Gea.

“Not all men are like that, the proof is that my husband is good and never a little harsh even though we are still alive. Never deny me also if you want to meet you, as long as not to forget our obligations as a wife,” said Maghda.

“Yes, my husband too. The important thing is that we do not abuse the trust of the husband and vice versa.” Santi.

“Don't kayak the Lili, almost every year change husband mulu. Alesannya likes to hit, not enough to live, but she is not really a wife. Every day go arisan, shopping, while the house is not taken care of, the husband returns home he is not at home. Which husband does not go to try?” Cerocos Riska well.

“But her husband is now a father, right?” Maghda began to participate.

“He said that, but he said he already has a wife in the next city.” Riska is back.

Hearing them all I still doubt so increasingly worried to make my life choices. And I was getting caught off guard by the chatter of some people who were in front of me.

Some time Dani came to that place as well. Walked towards us by showing off a smile on the baby face she had. I did not think that he was the man I had a chat with even though we had only first met even though we had one school before. But it was our first chat when he sent a chat that time.

I feel inappropriate if approaching or accepting the man who I think is very young even though the distance of our age is only one year. She's too cute to be my lover. I don't know why I even think like that even though until now I am still traumatized by the failure of my relationship.

For daydreaming unaware that Dani had now taken a seat in front of me and the others seemed to have deliberately given me the place.

“Oiya, I forgot that today I nemenin in-law I chek up,” said Riska saying goodbye as she moved from her seat.

“I also want to go home, Paksu today go home fast,” said Santi also say goodbye and then followed the others. While Maghda had already stood up earlier and gave his seat to Dani.

The atmosphere suddenly turned so awkward when we were alone at the table.

”Ehm, want to order another drink?” Dani asked after glancing at my juice that was almost gone.

“Ngak. Thanks.” I glanced at him and he still showed me his smile.

“It turns out it's better to chat in chat than to chat directly with you,” kekehnya.

“Oh yes?” I glanced at him.

“Duhh, even I salting this.” Still chuckling with a little face down. I also felt funny about his reaction.

“Why salting? If you want to be my friend, the condition should not be much behavior anymore misbehave.” My brain went wild wanting to prank a man a year younger than me.

“Why make friends if you can be a priest.” This time he dared to reply by looking at me. But stick with her sweet smile.

Hey hey hey.he's starting to show his courage.

“Hmm, I'm older than you.”

“If I had been a priest for you, yes want any difference of years still aja you will be a makmum who must obey the priest.” Then he took a sip of the cappuccino he ordered.

I was silent for a moment. Digesting words “should nurut same imam”. Will I be arranged? I can't do the things I love and I have to cook too.

If I lack that I can't cook, I might be able to overcome it by buying food outside or learning to cook slowly. But what if I get banned from working? Because I've seen for myself some of my married friends then have to stop working on her husband's orders. Some reason to focus on taking care of the household until someone stops because her husband is jealous if his wife works and meets male employees in the office.

Are women only born to do such things?

Owning a farm was my dream. It was hard until now I have it. I want to manage it with my efforts and from my own hands.

I used to want to get married because I wanted someone to take care of me, accompany me and strengthen me. No matter how hard I am from the outside, I still need someone who can love me.

If I get married just to be a housekeeper and obey what my husband says, then I don't seem to need a man.

After that conversation I started to put some distance with Dani. Not wanting to make him hopeful and protracted in uncertainty.

Although he has never spoken seriously about his feelings, I can feel from the attention he has been giving lately.

And also I still doubt if I can really accept it or just because I feel comfortable because he has managed to make me always smile.

...**Tbc...

-

-

-

Sorry if there is a lot of typo and crunch in this chapter.

Thank you so much for always supporting my work which is still in the process of learning to write.

Love U all**...