Deepest Wound

DADDY'S GONE FOREVER

The awaited midterm holiday has arrived. But it coincided with the news that I received that Dad was sick.

I told Kak Laras that I did not go on vacation to his place. I chose to return to the village where Father and Mother were waiting for my arrival.

I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw Dad. Dad's body that once contained now looks very thin. And it seems like Dad has been sick for a long time. I heard Dad had complications with various diseases lodged in his body.

I approached Dad and called him slow. "Dad, it's Anita."

I saw a faint, fluffy smile on Dad's lips.

Slowly I raised my hand and rubbed the top of my head. "See me for Dad."

I nodded to my father's wishes. After the Maghrib prayer I immediately taught for Dad. After I finished the turn of Kak Ilham and Kak Rama who taught alternately.

I went to the kitchen to get a drink. I approached Mother who was seen cleaning up in the kitchen. I asked Mommy why not take Daddy to go to the Hospital whose facilities are much more complete and Dad can get special treatment about the disease that is in the current Daddy's suffering.

It turns out that before Dad had often taken hospital treatment. And all this time I didn't know that Dad was often in and out of the Hospital because of his illness. Mother deliberately did not tell me at Dad's request.

Dad asked to be treated at home, then after that Mother took the initiative herself told me to go home and see the condition of Dad.

I cried feeling that Dad did not love me and I was also sad because I did not know anything about Dad's illness. It's just fitting that Dad looked skinny at that time, it turns out Dad was sick.

"It's not that Dad doesn't love you, we even love you like a child. I just don't want the news to affect your learning process. You said you wanted to be a successful person, didn't you?" Mother grabbed my body into her arms. Warm and reassuring it feels to be in the arms of Mother. I looped my arms around Mother's waist.

Why am I not born from Mother's womb?

This afternoon is the third afternoon I'm teaching Dad. Actually every time I pray I always teach. But after the maghrib prayer I will take a little longer to teach him, until the holy prayer I just stopped.

When I was teaching suddenly Dad looked agitated and looked like he had trouble breathing. Brother Ilham immediately approached Father and whispered something in Father's ear. Moments later, I looked calm and went back to sleep. I thought Dad was just short of breath and was back to sleep. But I saw the people in the room looking very sad and even crying.

Brother Rama rushed out of the room and not long came with Mr. Ustadz. I just kept quiet watching as Mr. Ustadz checked Dad's breath and pulse. Until then Mr. Ustadz said that Dad was dead.

I cried to Dad and hugged him.

"Dad.., don't stay with Anita. I have to see Anita become a successful person first."

"Ikhlas is your father, son. He was calm and no longer felt any pain. Help with the do'a so that he gets ease there." Mr. Ustadz counselled me.

I can't believe Dad's not going this fast. I'm really sorry why I didn't go home at least I could tell you earlier about Dad's illness.

Tears still dyed the funeral mood that day. Even though I had held her back but still my tears dripped by themselves if I remembered the times I used to be with Dad.

Three days after Dad's departure, I took a walk to the plantation where I used to go there with Dad. For about 5 years I left that place,

Three days after Dad's departure, I took a walk to the plantation where I used to go there with Dad. Not much has changed from that place even though for about 5 years I left it. Even at the funeral yesterday I still heard some residents of the mothers still smoothly call my nickname. None other than they attributed the death of Dad for picking me up.

After being satisfied around I feel a little tired and then look for a seat. I occupied a fallen tree trunk and it turned out from there I could see the green landscape of the plantation. The blowing cold wind gently caressed my hair.

"Sorry, are you new here?"

I was shocked and immediately turned to someone standing near me. A man who seemed to be much more mature than me with a sturdy and fairly tall body stood there.

"Can I sit here?" He asked back.

"Sit down, this is a public place anyway" I replied. I looked back at the scene before me, although it was different from before the arrival of the man.

I got up from my seat and wanted to go home. But the man suddenly prevented me.

"I've been here a long time, and I really want to go home because it's late in the afternoon" I replied with a slight smile so that the man didn't feel too guilty.

"alright. I thought I was disturbing. Oh, yes, let me introduce my name Fauzan." While extending his hand.

"I am Anita" I replied without welcoming her hand. I walked down the path to the main road. And that guy is still following me.

Arriving at the main road the man rode his motorbike parked on the side of the road.

"Let me drive home" he offered me a ride.

"No. Thank you," reject me. The man named Fauzan was running his bike very slowly beside me.

There were some people who came across us on that street, and it made me feel uncomfortable when they looked at us both.

"Fine brother first, is not ashamed to see people? Brother followed me from earlier," I said.

"Yes, that's why you're on the hunt let me drive you home." I didn't care about his offer and kept my feet up. But this guy named Fauzan turned out to be quite stubborn too. He still follows me on his bike.

"Anita! An..ni..ta..., let's go up!"

I saw that there was a group of people coming home from the plantation and going to cross paths with us. Without thinking, I just got on the bike. I saw from the side his face looked very happy when I was behind him.

"Are you a new citizen here?" He asked me something I hadn't answered since I met.

"I'm a native here" I replied.

"I'm a newcomer, but my relatives are here. It's been over three months coming to this village, but why did I just see you?"

"I just came a week ago, and I've been leaving this village for about 5 years. Because I went to school in A."

"Oh, I deserve to have just seen you."

I told him to stop when he almost got in front of my house.

"You live here?"

"Yes. Thank you for the ride" I said.

"You're the family of the late Mr Ibnu?"

I took a breath before answering that question. "I'm his daughter."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know Mr. Ibnu had a daughter."

"We don't have to know everything, do we?" I don't know why I'm always sensitive to things that offend family matters. My cold attitude will respond immediately.

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...Tbc...