Deepest Wound

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Yesterday I got a message from Om Wandy that he has a job outside the area. So the next few days I go to school by taking a motorcycle taxi.

I saw Brother Ardi already standing in front of my class and he smiled when he saw me coming.

"Hey...."

"Hay too" I said. Then I went to class and sat on my bench.

"Sir Ardi seems to be chasing you really, An," said Salwa and several other friends approaching my desk. I just kept quiet without saying anything. After all there is nothing I need to explain anymore because, the other day even Kak Ardi had expressed his feelings for me in the same room.

He was nicknamed a crocodile at this school, maybe after getting bored he would stop chasing me. But my heart can't lie that I was so happy when yesterday she took me to the cafe. I intend to go there myself sometime.

I see the sky is very dark with the wind. It looks like it's going to rain and I don't have any preparations to ward off the cold.

The bell rang I immediately took care of my writing equipment and put it in my bag. When I got out of class, I heard someone call me. It turns out that Ardi's sister.

"I'll drive you home, yes" said Ardi.

Because the sky is getting darker and it will take some time if I refuse Kak Ardi's offer, so I agree.

Sure enough after a while the rain fell very fast even with the sound of earthy lightning. Brother Ardi stopped his bike in front of a shop and then invited me to take shelter for a while. Cold air started to enter my lungs. I scissored to reduce the cold that hit my body while waiting for the rain to subside to immediately go home.

"It looks like it's going to be raining for a long time. Want to keep waiting?" Ask Brother Ardi. And I just nodded because I couldn't go home in this rain or my pain would recur.

Ardi's brother approached the bike and took something from there. "You wear this" said Ardi, putting a jacket on my back.

"Why Brother bothers this way. Tuh Kak Ardi so wet," I said because it was not good enough to bother Kak Ardi who became wet with rain because he had to take a jacket from inside his motorbike.

"No what. I was worried that you were sick" said Ardi.

Aroma Kak Ardi is in the jacket I wear. And I started to feel awkward when I was near Kak Ardi.What is this...???

"Sit down first, deck" said the shop owner's mother let us sit down and gave us two plastic chairs.

"Thank you" said Ardi and I.

"An, how? Do you accept me?" Ask Kak Ardi about his feelings that he expressed the other day. "I know, you must be hesitant because of what your friends say at school, but I'm not that kind of guy. All this time I did have some girl friends, but that doesn't mean I always expressed my feelings to all of them. Trust me, I'm just like this to you." Ardi's sister tried to convince me while looking at me deeply.

"Ehm, the rain has stopped, let's go home" I said as I moved from my seat.

After thanking the mother of the shop owner, we went home.

"Anita, I don't want to force you to trust me but you need to know that I really like you not only, but I love you, An, too," brother Ardi said before I left from before him.

I still do not know what to say, if asked if I like Kak Ardi then honestly I began to like Kak Ardi. But I can't say if I love him, too.

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That morning I was actually lazy to go to school because the cold last night had made my body a little bad. But I forced him to leave because I always remembered Dad's message and also the challenge from Om Wandy.

As usual, Ardi was already in front of my class when I came. Then I remembered Kak Ardi's jacket I wore last night.

"Sorry, Brother's jacket forgot I brought it, later I return it after washing," I said.

"No need to hurry, if not returned it is also okay," said Kak Ardi while entering my class.

I just clucked to hear Kak Ardi's answer but I still intend to return the jacket.

"So why does she always come into my class? No shame in seeing each other!?" I said because for a long time I began to feel uncomfortable if Brother Ardi always followed me.

While Kak Ardi was just grinning while looking at some of the students in my class. "Yes, I'm going first. But he'll be back together again, okay?" Brother Ardi said and left my class.

The doorbell rang I took out my books and writing equipment and prepared to take a lesson. Slowly I got used to it and loved the lessons at this school. One and a half hours of lesson did not seem to pass, time to change the lesson hours. Now I'm really focused on my original goal. May I succeed in winning the challenge from Om Wandy.

The last lesson is over. I walked out of class and I saw that Ardi was waiting for me there. As usual he would walk beside me regardless of the ledge of his friends. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable but Kak Ardi looks very relaxed and not burdened at all with the words of his friends. Sometimes I wonder why Brother Ardi can be that relaxed.

"Come," said Kak Ardi when he was riding his motorcycle.

"I'll take a motorcycle ride," I refused.

"Aren't we promised to go home together?"

"When do I promise? Kan, Ardi's own brother who said, I didn't say anything," I said then I took a motorcycle taxi that had picked me up leaving Ardi's sister who was still looking at me.

I just don't want this feeling to go any further. I'm just afraid that one day Brother Ardi will find out about me that my own family doesn't want. It is better to lose now than to lose later, which might make me even more hurt.

When I got home I opened the door with the key I used to carry. But I was surprised when I went inside there were voices from the kitchen. I slowly walked over to see who was there because there was no way anyone could get in because I always carried the keys to the house when I was at school. Only Mother has a spare key. Who has entered the house?