Deepest Wound

IS THERE AN ANTIDOTE?

...Happy reading...

I returned to work as usual and Mr. Erik has also apologized for his proposal so suddenly yesterday. I'm not even bothering about it. I understand that maybe Mr. Erik was just carried away because we met every day and now we are working together. I really feel sorry for him, hopefully he will marry a woman of his age again. Being younger does not have to be half his age.

Out of nowhere Bang Fauzan knew about Mr. Erik who proposed to me yesterday, suddenly he invited me to speak seriously.

He returned to express his seriousness with me. I don't have the heart to honestly say no. But if I say my willingness, it means that I accept it only because I have to.

One afternoon after finishing our last assignment on the estate, I intended to talk to Bang Fauzan. We walked down every block of the estate to find a suitable place to chat.

Little did I tell you about my love experience that ended in disappointment. Although not everything at least I tell the core of the story that makes me not ready to start again the same story.

"Everyone's life is different. If there is such a thing as happiness, there is such a thing as sadness. If it falls, then there are two options for it, choosing to keep falling or rising from that slump. It's all in your hands, you decide. I can only pray that you can reopen that heart. If that time comes, may I be the first one to get into it."

I am relieved and happy that I can finally reveal a little burden that has been stuck all this time. "Thank you, you'd understand. This brother is a good man and also educated, I've heard that a good man will get a good woman, and vice versa." I said as I smiled towards Bang Fauzan who was beside me.

"Oh so you think I'm a good guy?"

Then I answered with a nod.

"I think you're a good woman, too. Does that mean we're a soul mate?" While Bang Fauzan plays one eye and smiles at me.

"Ck! Where did you learn from? Curious, huh."

"If you are curious, then Brother Kasi knows how. But we got married first. Haha...!"

If it is like this, it is useless to continue to talk. There's nothing more to discuss. I first left Bang Fauzan.

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Although our relationship was still as friends, but my neighbors started to fuss and ask about my relationship status and Bang Fauzan. How not, every time I go back to the city, Bang Fauzan always follows me. He deliberately rented a hotel close to my house as a place to stay and to easily also visit my home.

”Who is Anita, the guy who often plays here?” Ask Pakde Kus whose house is opposite to mine.

”Oh, that's his friend. What's up, Pakde?” Ask Kak Laras back. I know Pakde Kus is also nosy and likes to cheat, so I let Kak Laras talk.

”Temen what is temen..?”

”Dihh, Pakde kepoh really,” sahutku start lured.

”Do'ain aja, if you are a mate surely Pakde will be invited,” said Kak Laras while laughing.

”Aamiin.., Pakde always do'ain.”

After replying to Pakde Kus's injustice I invited Kak Laras in and hurriedly closed the door. Then we peeked out of the glass window how Pakde Kus was being watched by his wife.

”Basic! You love to play people!” Laras's brother hit me in the arm but we didn't stop laughing.

Pakde Kus' wife is indeed a person who is easy on the stove with things that are not sure of the truth. That's why I used the situation to avenge Pakde Kus.

In the afternoon I went to the washing place of my subscription motorbike.After from there I went around for a while. I accidentally passed the road that leads to the cafe where my favorite used to be with Kak Ardi. I haven't been to that cafe in a long time. I hesitantly parked my motorbike and passed through a narrow passageway resembling a passageway before reaching the cafe. This is one of the highlights of the cafe. For those who have never come here will not think that there is a cafe with a very amazing view.

I went through the hallway and looked for an empty table. It just so happened that afternoon there were a lot of visitors. Visitors consisting of young couples may be waiting for the main moment that became the uniqueness of the cafe, which is watching the sunset.

I looked at the teenage couple who looked cool chatting. I remember how I and Ardi used to be just like they don't care about other visitors and like the world belongs to both. I took a piece of tissue on the table and put it in both of my eyes alternately before it escaped from my eye.

I'm not a hypocrite, if I still love the man who filled my heart a few years ago. The first man who introduced me to the world was called love. But I know enough myself that it is no longer possible to hope for him.

But not wrong, right if I still remember it?

I woke up from the daydream when the cafe waiter came to my desk to ask for my order. I ordered a drink so there was a reason for me to be there.

Dusk began to come, visible streaks in the sky produced by the sun that began to hide behind the clouds. My heart was screaming hysterically considering the time when I had once witnessed it all with happiness and a sense of peace.

Oh my...

Take this memory for a while

so that I can feel that peace again.

”An...”

”Anita..!”

I heard that voice clearly calling my name.

I went back to crying in my sleep, waking up in the middle of the night.

Memories are like movies being replayed.

It's been almost two years I've been through it, but why it still feels new and fresh in the memory.

Spreading out the prayer rug, and raising my hands in the third of the night, even I was angry at God for giving this feeling.

Roaring alone, until back to sleep in the face with tears that still flowed through the corner of the eye even though I was asleep.

If there's an antidote, I'd like to pay whatever it costs.

...Tbc...