Black Room

Dusk

Quite a beautiful twilight for a moment, you don't.

****

The sun began to docked in the western horizon. The light still shines on the earth in the afternoon. I was again immersed in the activities held by my class. I've been in the class a few days now. At my school there is a class beauty race that will be assessed in one month. I haven't been in a class decorating competition since tenth grade. But the last few days I've been involved and active in class activities.

The school looks very quiet. There were only us and a few teachers who were still busy in the office. Me and some male friends who one class with me shoulder to shoulder make a garden fence in front of our class. And this afternoon only the male students are still staying. The female students had already come home half an hour ago after their work was done.

Aldi and ijep had the task of splitting the bamboo into four parts. Nando and Doris are in charge of cutting bamboo that has been split using a saw. While I was in charge of composing the blades to become a fence. For the past week we have always been busy with local decorating activities after school. The bamboo we use is bamboo that we cut from the forest not far from the school. Activities like this are fun with cooperation and togetherness.

"Salut mom saw dikan now. Her spirit makes me proud" said buk yarnis.

I stopped my activities and looked. Buk Yarnis was standing with half of his body leaning back. Buk Yarnis smiled as I turned my head. Buk Yarnis is our homeroom teacher in this twelfth grade.

"Yah mother just found out" Sahut aldi chuckled "The fish has now changed buk" said aldi

My other friends laughed. Buk Yarnis laughed too. I smiled silently watching the laughter that was present in the togetherness this afternoon.

"Why do you want to know why she changed?" Tanya aldi looked at buk yarnis.

"Why?" Buk Yarnis walked over and sat down on the trench.

"Love that changes is better" said aldi with a poetic effusion.

Laughing broke. I shook my head to hear what aldi said. This one friend of mine can always bring laughter with his crispy jokes.

"With the teacher of history it is aldi" Sahut buk yarnis.

I immediately looked. Buk Yarnis looked at aldi with his lips still laughing. I was surprised by what buk Yarnis said. Does buk yarnis also know that I love buk mutia. But where does buk yarnis know?

Aldi raised his shoulders "Mother must be yes" said aldi laughing.

My friends laughed. I was busy with hammer and nail. Now my head is claustrophobic about the question does everyone know that I love buk mutia?

"Why haven't you been like this before?" Ask buk yarnis.

I looked at buk yarnis. I don't fully understand what buk yarnis means.

"Yes, all the teachers in the office were praising the change. Why aren't the tenth grade class like this. If it was possible to enter bidikmisi and smptn" said buk yarnis.

"Color is afraid not to pass the buk, so it changes" said Briefly and returned to my busyness.

"Emang yes is always the talk of the school" said Doris.

They laughed at Doris' words.

"But the real teachers in the office are proud of the changes you are making. Even buk nit just praises you with your high value"

I just kept quiet and didn't respond to buk yarnis's talk.

"It used to be because his canning was used as a teacher's talk, now he is a diligent child is still a talk" Aldi laughed.

My other friends laughed too. I was quiet and busy with my life.

"You used to think this guy would be a bad guy with his incredible mischief. Every class meeting teachers always argue with the name dikan. Buk ade, buk ida, and buk de who desperately defend to be given the opportunity to go to class. I couldn't believe it would change. His behavior in the eleventh grade was even more than the tenth grade. But now the words buk ida have been proven. This dikan is a smart boy" said buk yarnis.

"The fish has changed" Aldi chimed in on buk yarnis.

My friends laughed again. I threw aldi with the ground. With aldi dodging. I am busy with my activities. There was a feeling of pride that filled my chest. It turns out that being praised for that kindness turned out to be fun too.

In the end I assumed that good people and bad people were just perceptions of the individual himself. For example, a good person who has a spiteful enemy would be said to be a bad person by his enemy. A bad person is considered good if he can hide all his crimes. The good guys and the bad guys are just a mask in the play. Every human being lives with his own mask and secrets. Like I kept myself a secret as a human being living in the dark. However, regardless of the good guys or the bad guys. Every human being has the opportunity to change. And that opportunity will come through thoughts that are fed up with circumstances and actions.

"Aldi, you're staying is okay, right?" Ask the yarnis buk who stands from his seat "I'm busy to go before the market closes" Sambunya.

"Emang still open the market this afternoon buk" Sahut aldi asked.

"Still" Sahut buk yarnis began to walk "Dikan, everyone, mother stay first yes" Pamit buk yarnis

"Yes buk" We said in unison.

"Be careful on the street buk. If it falls on its own" Doris said.

We laughed. Buk Yarnis smiled and passed away. Shortly after the departure of buk yarnis. Doris also walked into the office to make coffee. I'm still curious about buk yarnis who knows that I love buk mutia. Where buk yarnis can tell.

"Where does buk yarnis know that I love buk mutia?" I asked my three best friends after Doris's departure.

Aldi and Nando stay together. They quit their jobs. They looked at me with a confused expression from me.

"What did buk yarnis mean?" I asked after buk yarnis passed.

Nando and ijep looked at each other. Aldi also quit his job. They looked at each other confused.

"You're done with buk mutia, brother" asked ijep

"******" I'm upset.

Aldi and nando laughed. Ijep is always silly and unobtrusive. Aldi hit ijep with when it is being held. Ijep picked up the blade and chased after the aldi who ran into the local next door.

Ijep is a call from Jefri geofani. A man taller than me is thinly muscular. Ijep likes to exercise and is active in scout activities. I nicknamed ijep with a handsome but geeky man. I nicknamed her like that because ijep always dressed neatly with clothes that always come in and pants that cutbrai. Ijep comes from nagari lubuak pumpkin in the depths of the Sumatran jungle dikabuhpaten dhamasraya. Ijep said the cellphone and electrical signals had not yet entered the village. The people of his village only use a large gindset for lighting at night. Ijep is a boarding boy and comes home every semester break.

"Maybe from a nit kali dik buk" said nando.

I remember last Thursday when I was studying Indonesian. Buk nit also insinuated me. I know buk nit didn't mean to insinuate. And maybe I'm the one who's too suuzon to buk nit. But I am sensitive to the words that lead to me.

Buk nit handed out a daily replay paper two days ago from his desk. Buk nit starts to distribute with the highest value. Aulia, nisa, and resi advance to the front of the class with a proud feeling. No one was surprised by the intelligence of the three of them. They always compete in the top three. I went forward to pick up my paper after the name of the rishi. I walked with a proud feeling that was accompanied by clapping. No one expected that my daily repeat score would rank four. But I did prepare it last night before the replay. And my efforts are not in vain with high repeat value. The nit buk told aulia, nisa and resi to be careful with me. Buk nit said that I could be their competitor. A whole class of noisily with their empathy for my high grades. Until kelakar aldi make a buk nit berpitaah.

"That's love. Good love will lead us to change for the better"

"Have not thought too much" said Nando disperse my daydreams.

I'm just smiling. My chest still feels claustrophobic with rumors that might be circulating among teachers. They preach as if I'm dating a buk mutia.

I continued with my hammer and nail. The sun is shining a little dimly in the land. His light began to burn the yellowing sky. Aldi, ijep, and nando walked to the office to make a drink. I ordered hot tea to Nando.

I'm still busy with nails and hammers. There are a few more blades that I need to nail to become a fence. My classroom front garden is square. That means we have to make four fences to cover all areas of the park. One fence was ready yesterday afternoon and was already standing at the back of the park. I keep putting nails in when using nails.

In my head I still think about the rumors circulating among the teachers. Maybe the teachers will argue that I changed because of buk mutia. I changed to make my mother happy.

If it wasn't for Mom, I probably wouldn't have changed. I am a foolish man who will not be easily obedient just for the sake of love. My ex-boyfriend used to tell me to pray. But I just obeyed his words in front of the sajan and behind him I remained myself. For me that love is not forcing let alone demanding.

If for example I do not change the way I learn and attitude in school. I believe I will graduate. Not because I'm smart and I feel arrogant. Further away. This year the government decided that the graduation system was the responsibility of the school. National Exam scores are no longer a determinant of student graduation. And the school will definitely graduate its students one hundred percent in order to maintain the good name and reputation of the school. However, I changed for the sake of happy mother who hoped that I could graduate.

"This is the drink, sir" said one woman.

I looked up with my head up. Buk mutia's. I was surprised to see a mutia buk standing on the porch of the classroom. I'm not allowed to reply to messages with buk mutia in a few days. Our conversation at BBM is still hanging and I have never been since buk mutia told a long story about her boyfriend's manta.

"Please sir. Drink it" said buk mutia smiling.

I also laughed intently at the behavior of buk mutia who was like a lady-in-waiting to the king. I took a glass of water over the tray. Buk mutia was still looking at me with her sweetest smile. The smile I missed the last few days.

"Drink" said buk mutia.

I nodded and drank. I put the empty glass back on the tray. Above the tray there are two more hot teas.

"Hungry as it may seem" said buk mutia and sat beside me on the moat. Buk mutia placed the tray on the floor in our midst.

"Lumayan. Mother why haven't you come home" I said as the porch stood to continue my pending work.

"Will continue with work. It's a soreloh" said buk mutia.

"Nanggung. A little bit more" I said and took the hammer lying on the ground

"But it can be continued tomorrow" said buk mutia.

I looked up at buk mutia. Mutia buk's forehead looks wrinkled looking at me "Pamali's name if the work is not completed" said I.

Buk mutia smiled "Give up" Sahut.

I chuckled at the porch continuing my work, which was only a few more blades away. Buk mutia was still sitting watching me work.

"Dikan's. The tea will be cold" said buk mutia.

"Yes great. Can be drunk" Sahutku.

Buk mutia pursed her lips. I've always liked to see a buk mutia with a manyun face like that. Buk mutia looks cute and funny. Buk mutia turned to stare at the yellowing twilight.

"Happy why not go home?" I am still busy with my activities.

"Master didn't throw away his daughter, did he?" Ask buk mutia.

I looked at buk mutia. "I mean?" ask me with a surprised face.

Buk mutia exhaled a rough breath. "Or do you just treat me as a servant? Okey... All right I'm going. I am not a princess" said buk mutia and walked in front of me. "Thank you is not accepted" said buk mutia.

I'm laughing a little. "Thank you so much buk"

"Thank you is not accepted" Sahut buk mutia harder without looking at me.

I was intrigued to see the mutia buk joking "Keep how to get her thanks accepted?" My toot.

Buk mutia stopped a few steps away from me. She turned her body to look at me "There's a condition" said buk mutia.

I'm laughing a little. "What?"

"Just accompany your daughter to tea this afternoon" said buk mutia walking over to me.

I laugh. Buk mutia once drama. Buk mutia probably likes to watch Korean dramas like most ABG girls are crazy about and the fever will be K-POP. But I feel good about buk mutia's behavior.

"I can't refuse to accompany a princess as beautiful as this" I joked.

Buk mutia laughed as the foyer sat on top of the moat. I resumed my activities that only one more blade remained.

"Say I want to drink tea. Nantik ibuk really went loh dikan" said buk mutia.

"Yes, just one more blade of kok buk" I said.

Buk mutia pursed her lips with her hands folded against her chest. I put the hammer on the ground after my work was done. I sat in the ditch next to buk mutia. We sat a little distance away with a tray containing two cups of tea that was still warm.

Dusk began to turn yellow with the violet began to prepare to guava the darkness. Me and buk mutia witnessed the beauty of twilight by brewing tea that is still warm.

"Why bbm ibm ngak dibales" asked buk mutia with the tea she still held.

"Aja males" Sahutku brief porch put a glass of tek on the tray.

Buk mutia laughed at the knot "You're a mysterious person"

"You?" I was surprised by the buk mutia who called me by your name. No longer a dikan.

"No" Buk mutia chuckled again "Emang why if my mother calls you. Is it still polite?"

"Yes engak. Usually I never use you-you, usually call me dikan" Reply.

Buk mutia smiled. "Why don't you ever dare to express your feelings to someone you like?" Ask buk mutia.

I settled buk mutia. We look at each other. The eyes of the panda buk mutia are very sharp to drown me. Did buk mutia just insinuate me who never dared to express feelings towards her?

"Fear that feeling is unrequited" my heart turned to look.

Buk mutia hissed "You're a man. You should be able to defeat your fear. At least you don't torture yourself by harboring feelings" said buk mutia.

"Wouldn't fear also be necessary" I stood up "Sometimes giving up is the right choice" I walked round up all the goro utensils.

"As dusk. Even though he knows how to go back. But being left in the dark is a wound. Not love" said buk mutia by staring at the shade and the reddened sky.

I frowned at the sight of buk mutia. I don't fully understand what buk mutia just said. I walked inside the local to store the goro tools.

"Sometimes trouble comes not because of a mistake" said buk mutia startling me from behind. Buk mutia put down the hoe she was carrying. I put the hoe in the closet.

"Sometimes problems come without ever knowing what causes them. But the essence of the problem is to be solved. Like the love that should be expressed. She has harbored feelings, years, and it feels very painful" said buk mutia.

I closed the closet door. I was still staring at the closet. The words buk mutia were code. Did buk mutia ask me to express my feelings towards her? I turned to look at buk mutia. Prepare to say the word of love to buk mutia.

"It is like sincerity that harbors feelings for the sake of her friendship with fiona" said buk mutia.

I swallowed spit. Fiona's? Where does buk mutia know about fiona? And how can buk mutia know that I've loved fiona?I never told anyone about Fiona. I walked past buk mutia.

"How difficult it is to state" said buk mutia

I continued walking regardless of buk mutia. I picked up my bag and walked out of class. Know what buk mutia is about how I feel about fiona.

"Dikan's. You are talented as a writer" said buk mutia.

I continued walking without looking at buk mutia. I felt my heart ache when buk mutia snapped fiona's name. Buk mutia brought back the sincerity to a wound.

"Dikan's. Pretty beautiful twilight for a moment, you don't" cried buk mutia.

I continued walking in the parking lot without caring about buk mutia. On the way home, the names fiona and buk mutia ran through my mind. It feels so torturous.

Yes, Ganja? Only it became an outlet for all the disappointments I felt today. Cannabis can make my head feel that wants to explode into cold. And my mind can make peace with my own heart.