Black Room

Man in the dark

The man in the dark is the man who falls in love with the black world.

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The man in the dark is the man who seeks happiness in the black world. Humans who make drugs as a place to vent their emotions. People who think that life is just breathing and do not need to think. People who choose to love their own world.

People in the dark are people who are said to have no purpose and no future. Man who does not care even though many people denounce the negative about life and himself. People who think life without drugs is boring. And I was one of those humans in the dark.

I fell in the dark when I was 17. At that time my brother (Syuja atiendra) who became human in the dark was smoking marijuana in our bedroom. The pungent smell coming from the cigarette he was burning made me ask what he was smoking.

"Here, tranquilizer, try" he said by giving me the marijuana he was smoking. At first I felt dizzy, but often my brother gave me marijuana, I was getting used to it and addicted to it.

I fell in love with the darkness of the life I lived. My hard life and soul, often distressed by the quarrels of mother and father, made me find peace in the darkness. Restless, agitated, resentful, and angry as if subsided after the marijuana fumes billowed from my mouth.

My name is Dikan Alendra. I was born from the womb of a Sundanese woman with the father of the original descendants of minang. I was born in a village called ghost coral in the city of Serang there. Then three months after my birth, my mother and father moved to my father's hometown. Mother said the monetary crisis in the year of my birth made mother and father have to go home because of the difficulty of life in that age. Until I spiced up and grew up in a small village called muaro bodi.

I'm the last of two brothers. My brother (syuja atiendra) is now wandering in the city of batam. For several years he did not come home and only occasionally called as news that he was still alive.

I grew up under the pressures born of mother and father quarrels. Quarrels that occur almost every day make my mental slump. Their quarrel is not a trivial debate like other married couples. The quarrel always ends with the defeat of the father who left the house in a long time.

Mother and father quarrels are like a tragedy that makes me weak. I am weak in matters of heart and mind. It is like a heart and mind that never goes along and boisterous with debates. I live under my own pressures.

Every time I tell him about my father. I felt my soul so depressed. Like there was a disappointment I swallowed by force. The more I heard stories about my mother's father, the more I felt arrogant and angry. I don't know what's the cause they always can't get along with. I just don't want to hear any more stories about their fights.

Behind a hard family life. I grew up as a teenager full of freedom. There are no rules and the anger of the parents makes me have to stop with what I do. My mother reminded me with words of advice. My dad never cared what I did.

And that freedom is what makes me human in the dark. Drugs made my association and insight wide. I know many people as humans in the dark. People have become friends in the past year.

Call us with the RGM group (Rumah Gadang Minang) because we often hang out and spend the night in a traditional rumah gadang house of the jambak tribe. Almost every night we gather at the house. This house is like a base for us. This rumah gadang is no longer inhabited and is only used when there is a customary event.

The night was getting late, we went home to each of us. The distance from my house is only 200 meters. I went home on foot because I didn't have a motorbike.

When I got home, I was sitting in the guest room. It seems like mom was deliberately to wait for me. From the look on my face and the movements of my mother, I will get another untitled lecture. Like my mother's habit of being angry.

"Mother isn't asleep yet" Sapaku closed the door.

"Sit down first" tell mom

I sat in the chair facing my mother. I smell the annoyance of mother who will scold me with words. But I don't know what mistake I made.

"Your red report card has been reduced?" Ask mother.

I'm hissing. Mom was constantly asking me about my remedy at school. Just last night, Mom advised me to finish the remedy. And now I'm repeating it.

"It has. There are only a few more lessons yet" I said and stood ready to step.

"Sit" Mother snapped.

I sat back with a broken heart.

"Yes, there is only one more PKN just" Sahutku lazy

"There's nothing like that. Many lessons that we have not remedied" said the mother to expose my lies.

"Yes, yeah. Tomorrow I work" I said to calm my mother.

"You always have been. Since receiving the report yesterday, I told you to make your remedial nuntasin. But until now, have wanted to report on the class increase, not yet you finish" said the mother "Where you want to be able to remediate if you rarely enter the class"

"kikan get in. During the second semester there was no truant"

"You don't have to dodge. No way your teacher's lying to you" said mom

"Yaudah, if you don't believe me" I said and walked into the room.

"You know, you said the old man even volunteered"

"Tomorrow the work" I cried from the room.

"You are friends with people who are not real, so you are not really a child" said the mother who began to question my friends in RGM.

"They're not school. I'm the school. What does my school grade have to do with them?" My heart from inside the room.

"Mother lives first than you. The one who teaches you to walk and talk like this is mom. You shouldn't argue with mother's words"

I just sat quietly by my bedside. Mother is like a judge in a trial, while I am a suspect who must be advised with words. Mum's probably right about the neighborhood and my friends. But the biggest problem is within myself. Why blame my friends who in fact none of them are in school, except me. I'm the one who's lazy to go in and would rather skip lessons that I find boring.

Mom keeps nagging about things she knows. Yes, mom is chatty. I just know what he's saying is true. And there is no justification for everything he says. However, I realized, mother is the love of God who gave birth and introduced me to the world. As smart and powerful as I can't deny the truth that mom said.

"Mom never expected anything from you" Mother's voice rattled. "Mom just hopes you can finish High School" she said in a tone that was held back by crying.

Mom crying? I'm out of my room. I see you're still sitting in the living room with your head down. The sobs of mother's cries make haru in my heart. Suddenly the water began to fill my eyes.

I hugged his cold body from the side. I felt guilty for making her cry. This is the first time I made my mother cry. Oh no, I feel sorry for what I said to Mom.

"I'm sorry kikan ma'am" I said with tears that felt so bright "promise fish will change ma'am"

"Mom never forbid you. Because I know you'll get harder if you're bridled to the rules" she said sobbing.

I hugged his body tighter. I felt so guilty for making her cry. Ever since I was a kid, my mom always paid for my school. Even what is not there is always worked for by the mother. No matter what he owes. My dad never cared about my school.

"Let go, mommy wants to sleep" he said slowly.

I took my arms off my mother's body. I guided him to his bedroom. I covered her cold body. I kissed both cheeks with a feeling full of pain.

I fell asleep in my mother's room tonight. Mister? father is still in the time of his escape who chose to leave home.