Black Room

Night of hope

Love is just a pleasantries before it eventually becomes stale. Strangers know each other and fall in love but end up not greeting each other.

****

Tonight I regroup with the humans in the dark. Mom would've scolded me if she saw me still hanging out with my friends. But, I wanted to prove to mom that I could change without having to stay away from my friends. Doesn't change start with yourself?

"Dog gates ni mah" angled bang pram with a restless look on his face.

We laughed at the pram bang. It's 8:39 p.m. It's been almost an hour and we've been waiting for a bang gates shower. The resentment began to unburden between our souls.

"It's just as good for men but it's taking longer than women's showers" said bang pram.

"Ah, you don't know gates, pram" replied bang dani.

We are not surprised anymore with the habit of bang gates. Bang gates are always long when bathing. Even bang gates can be two hours in the bathroom. That is the habit of bang gates that we always regret. As at this time for example, bang gates like no sense of grace. Bang gates knew we were waiting. He intentionally let us wait. That bad habit of bang gates feels strange to us. However, that strangeness is only for us to understand.

The atmosphere of the front of the tek lik cafe is getting crowded. Vehicles parked in front of the teak shop eat the shoulder of the road that makes congestion occur at a glance. Fried shops da jangguik opposite the cafe also looks selling well.

Pram bang's bash about gates let our emotions slip in laughter, melded into the happiness of our sakau souls.

Shortly after the bang pram. Bang gates came by piggybacking on momon. Bang gates looks handsome with a plain white T-shirt with rusti on his chest. Also the hair that is drizzled is combed to the side.

"Yok, vino bastian has arrived. Filming begins" Bang pram

We laughed out loud. Bang pram is a typical person who likes to talk. So with that bang pram often give birth to jokes with silly stories. Bang gates laughed. Aware of our disappointment. Bang gates as usual only apologized for reasons that can only be understood without needing to be understood. It's just an excuse anyway. And we're used to the bad habits of bang gates.

Bang gates gave ten thousand to bang pram. As a donation to buy marijuana. One packet of marijuana is worth fifty thousand. We always donate to buy marijuana. Or we call it CK (Find a friend).

"Where to snack pram" Tanya bang dani.

"Where else, if not to the manger" Sahut bang pran pram.

"Yuk. Temenin cave" said bang deni

"No need. The cave itself" Bang pram hurriedly refused. Afraid the show will be exposed. The theatricals? Well, going to the trough is just an alibi bang pram to lie to us. Bang pram actually also has several packages of marijuana for sale. And only I know about the charade that bang pram is doing.

Bang pram is an ex-convict. He was in prison for three years. I got to know bang pram a year ago after he got out of jail. Before bang pram went to jail, I was just familiar and not so close.

The day after his release, bang pram seeks out friends long before bang pram goes to jail. Old friends who sought bang pram was bang gates, bang febi, and bang james. They had been friends for a long time, and I was the new kid in their group. I was sitting around with my old friends bang pram. Bang febi, bang gates, bang eldom compromise to fool bang pram by saying that they are busy and are in different places. They were forced to lie for fear of becoming victims of the pram bang who had just come out of prison. But shortly after that bang pram managed to find us. Bang pram cried to see his friends who had the heart to lie to him. Bang pram said their minds were too short.

Since then I have known Bang pram. I got closer to the pram bang when ipan and dodi asked me to help me find a place to buy marijuana on a large scale. And bang pram who liaised me with bang teiko (Big city). Bang pram knew bg teiko when they were both in prison.

From bang pram I started drug sales. This illegal business has been running for less than a year. The profit I get from one transaction is one million. I made two transactions in two different stalls; one with ipan dinagari padang sibusuk, while the other with bang dedek who lived in Tanjung ampalu. The money from the sale of marijuana I use to complete my daily needs. Better than asking mom.

While bang pram gets a line of marijuana from bg teiko. Cannabis was accepted by the pram bang as a wage because it has helped bg teiko to find buyers. And some of that wage was sold by the pram to make money.

I once asked why bang pram did not choose to be honest if he was also a marijuana seller. But bang pram says he doesn't want a lot of people to know his identity.

"Later if many people know, many people are just asking. If everyone asks, which one will be the money?" Said bang pram one day

"But it doesn't have to be all people as well bg, our friends kekeman what's wrong to be honest"

"Dikan's. A friend of mine, friend. Business is business"

Bang pram felt safe with all the theatrics he did. Further away. Bang pram holds a grudge that is hard for him to forget. Bang pram still remembers the incident of old friends who lied to him when the incident was unleashed. Bang gates and bang eldom again lied to bang pram when after the events of the dieler. At that time pram asked their whereabouts to be able to gather. But bang eldom and bang gates lie pram for different reasons. Though they set up a strategy so that pram does not know that they are in line. Bang gates and bang eldom only left 50 thousand money to bang pram as an apology for not being able to get together. And bang pram feels his pride is only measured by money. Though bang pram just want to get together with them and do not need money. These events became the reason for the pream to lie to his friends.

"Before going to jail, brother once gave them marijuana for free. That's all you do for loyalty in friendship. But when my brother got out of prison, I regretted sacrificing like that for them. And it became a lesson for the elder brother not to repeat the same mistake" Explanation bang pram one day.

The night grew lively with uncontrollable frenzy. We are still waiting for the arrival of the pram bang. My hanpone is ringing because of the incoming call. Dende. I walked away and picked up the phone from Dendi.

"Yes" I started

"Where?" Ask from across there.

"Diwarneted. What's up?"

"Can you please cimeng ngak?"

"How much?"

"Corpule"

"Where else?" Much

"Front of the house"

"Jaudah will be informed of the cave" I closed.

I immediately called bang pram. I told him to bring me another package for dendi. Bang pram agreed to my request. Then I went back into the row of sakau men who were waiting for the arrival of the pram bang.

My friends are busy talking about people's skewed talk about us. I'm not surprised by the assessment of people who say we have no future. People will certainly look negatively at anyone who is entangled in drugs.

"It's actually a secret. But they make it their daily chatter" said bang eldom

"You know how else" said bang gates "Our village, which likes to gossip is not the mother, but the fathers" he said

We laughed side by side with the rambling bang gates. Soon after, bang pram arrived. Bang pram whispered to me that my order was in my motorcycle pocket. Then my friends started switching places. Towards the house where we used to sit for the night.

"Let's go, won't you come?" Ask the Denis who saw me still sitting.

"First bg, later the cave will be" I replied.

I'm nodding. Then they left by leaving me alone in the seat opposite the tek lik stall. I immediately called dendi and told her to meet me. A few minutes later dendi came with iit.

"Who are you sitting?" Much

"Fourths the same alpine and endo?"

Hah alpin's. I don't want to comment long. I immediately exchanged the package for the money given by dendi. There's no point in me talking about alpine anymore. It's all clear. Alpin lied to me that he no longer smoked. But what hurts even more in my heart is that the alps are starting to move away from me just because of the risk problem.

"You're not getting any better than an alpine" asked Dendi.

"The alpin is far away"

"Dropped. Because the girl friendship becomes damaged" said Dendi.

I don't understand the word dendi. I don't feel the word dendi. After all, dendi did not know the true events. Then I drove my bike to buy wine. Then followed my friends in our usual place hanging out.

Arriving at the house of Gadang. I opened the wine I had bought and poured it into a plastic cup. My friends were busy talking about women and love. Indeed, the enemies of man in the world are treasure, throne and women. Among the seven of us in RGM. Bang eldom, bang febi, and bang reno were married but divorced. Bang eldom and bang febi had one child. If bang reno has two children who live with his wife in the development. While bang pram, bang deni, bang gates, and I'm still a bachelor.

"Cats are given salted fish where it may refuse" said bang denni

"That's. Very hypocritical if you refuse" Sahut bang pram.

"It's not. But what about my son" obviously bang eldom

"Yes, if you are still thinking about children, you should just go back to your old bini" said bang pram.

They keep talking about love. I remember the risk. The woman who once offered love and promised to endure as hard as the waves of life separated. But now I hate to remember everything about risk. What's more, the resentment was burning even more at the sight of my friendship and the damaged alpine just because of the risk. I sipped a glass of wine. Eliminate the problems that were a burden in my mind. Can't a drink take the pressure off the problems we're facing?

In third grade at smp. I know a love that's not just monkey love. It grew and bloomed even though I was conscious of weakness; that I could not have that love. This love has meaning about sincerity.

"This is fiona loh kak's number, kak dila ngak simpen?" Fiona's message four years ago.

Her name is Fiona Lantika. The beginning of my introduction and closeness to Fiona started from a message that was not really for me. Long before that text I received. I've known of fiona since she was in Mos time. At that time I was amazed to see Fiona laughing with her friends as a new student.

"Ehhh zam, look at the laughing girl. Beautiful right?" ask me about izam.

Izam laughed cynically "why?" tanyanya.

And I started to remember about a month ago. About izam's amazement at the beauty of the fiona that we once ledeki it. izam claimed she was fiona's boyfriend. And we bullied the izam that her boyfriend was also black like her. We made sure we would not fall in love. And we know izamn is lying. Just for his genesis, so that he is not laughed at because he has never had a girlfriend. We know izam is making up a figure, making up a story. So that we do not always laugh and be cornered.

"Ndehh, because there are no pulses" complained to the three of us who did not believe. And it was my phone who called fiona with the number Izam mentioned. But the funny thing is, that answers the male voice. Izam said "it's his father fiona" and then laughed out loud.

And the fiona I saw was just like what Izam said. Even I feel prettier than just an izam appraiser. The large black eyes of fiona, her genitals and oval face shape give off an aura when she smiles. I feel like I'm swallowing my own saliva. I feel like I'm falling in love.

"So it's true that fiona's your boyfriend?" ask me about izam.

"Don't be his girlfriend. Just getting to know him I feel inferior"

Izam's right. I even gave up before I tried. I was afraid to approach even though I felt in love. I'm pessimistic that a pretty fiona girl wouldn't be my boyfriend. Further away. A girl as beautiful as fiona would definitely be arrogant and jutek to the man who approached her. And I don't want to try either.

Until a year later, suddenly text from fiona until contacted in me. Sms it for my classmate smp. Dila forced me to exchange cards with her. At first I refused for unreasonable reasons. Dila asked me to exchange cards so that her ex would believe that she already had a boyfriend and stop chasing after him. But I finally obeyed the plea dila in return for the kindness of dila who willingly do his duties I copied every morning. I've known Fiona ever since. Fiona wasn't what I expected when I first saw her. Fiona is a friendly and kind girl. I felt guilty for judging her badly before I knew her any further.

Long story short, the days I spent with fiona as a friend. Fiona is where my stories go. It's like finding a home in Fiona. There's almost nothing I hide from fiona, with fiona I can look what I am and show my true self. Fiona even knows all my problems. One more thing that made me fall in love with Fiona. He didn't leave, even though he knew I was human in the dark. And he stood still, as someone who was always there, embracing me as a caring person.

Fiona made me feel love ever since I was close to her. Love for me is someone who is comfortable around him, and also someone you always think of when he is not around. But I never dared to express my feelings to Fiona. I was afraid, Fiona would change and go away after knowing that I was harboring feelings more than a friend.

Even though I don't ask about it. But I know Fiona never felt the same way. There is no feeling more than a friend. And I realized that harsh reality. But I also don't feel like asking for more. Being able to get to know and get this close to Fiona for me is enough. But fiona managed to make the heart feel broken.

I still remember how upset I was after the fiona confession at dusk. When I had just arrived, I was greeted with ice kiko thrown by fiona. Fiona carries Eskrim and many snacks that are in small plastic next to fiona.

"Wieh royaall again" I said

Fiona just smiled. His eyes focused on his hand that was opening the ice-cream. Yeah, that's what fiona looks like. He was always royal. He always brings snacks with him whenever he meets me. Fiona said all that she bought for me to feel at home chatting with her. Another fact of fiona that amazes me. He was always kind and humble to everyone.

The sky is turning yellow on the west side. Add to the lively school field decorated by children playing basketball. We told each other, the beginning of the story went beautifully. I feel laughter and love hearing Fiona tell me about her day at school. Like the usual days, with fiona I can feel laughter more easily. Together with fiona I felt the problem that was difficult before felt so easy.

"I've been dating dendi" said fiona happily emanating from her smile. While I just try hard behind words and congratulations.

But I never showed that I was hurt. In front of fiona I was a great actor playing a role in my own drama. I've always played so that Fiona doesn't know the slightest bit of my feelings. I acted like I was happy when Fiona told me about dendi. Behind it, I felt jealousy stabbing my heart. One thing I realized after that. Fiona just felt comfort from me as a friend. I think Fiona should just be a friend. And I agree that holding is the best decision.

"From you, I feel I have an older brother" Fiona said, which made me believe that Fiona did not have the same feelings as I did. Love's.

My closeness to fiona began to distance as a result of the stacking of tasks facing fiona. Fiona rarely has time for me. But that love never goes away. I can feel the love still springing up when Fiona smiles when she accidentally meets.

If it was at the vingky school that I said I was heartbroken by risk and alpin turns, that's not true. My heart broke from seeing my family. Home is not my feeling place. Family is the karma that haunts my steps into the future. I don't want my family to be like my family today. I don't know, I feel like I'm pushing myself. Home is just a burden for me mentally to interact outside the home. That pain shaped my character as someone who was tough. And no one knew about the pain except fiona. For me, fiona is where all my feelings go, fiona is my soulmate. Because, without fiona I feel I am nothing. Whether it's an illusion or something. I just know it's beautiful. Fiona never thought of me as more than a friend.

Now, Fiona has someone who can take care of her. The lucky man was named Afdal. The man hilly sapodilla mature comes from the land nicknamed godok obuih. I don't know where they've been since. I got the news after two months they were dating. Fiona makes us rarely meet. Fiona said she studied and didn't have time for me. But someone managed to take his heart back without ever knowing where it came from.

That guy is a good guy. Fiona said there's no need for me to suspect. Afdal does not smoke. And to be sure, afdal is the man who never leaves his prayers. Even afdals sometimes remind fiona to pray. The man fiona coveted. Fiona feels lucky to have afdal.

But I can only be heartened. Although there was a wound I felt when fiona told me about afdal. I feel there is my sincerity that comes with being happy to see fiona happy. And I began to understand, friendship had forced me to bury those feelings deeply. Because in a friendship. Love is betrayal in friendship

I met a lot of women who ended up being girlfriends. They exist because I am not looking for them. Those who came to me alone. Kaena, imagery, and riska are strangers who once filled my heart. However, they again become alien to the character that has never been so long. Those who say they love me end up being someone who no longer cares.

Fiona celebrates her two-year relationship with afdal. I still don't understand what I call love. I just know that love is mom and fiona. It was those two women who gave strength to my heart to feel love.

Whereas what most people call love, is just a small talk before getting to know who will eventually become completely stale. Like the women who filled my heart, starting from a stranger and returning as a stranger.

And in the middle of a lonely night, I wish I had a girlfriend like fiona. Someone who can make me fall in love even though I can't have it.