Black Room

Can't sleep

My eyes feel heavy.

But my mind is heavier.

****

I knock on the door of the locked house. The sound of television was still heard from the front of the house. Mom was seen walking as I peeked out of the window. I exhaled. Get ready to face mom's anger because I came home the night with the school still complete.

"Where are you from?" Ask your mother after opening the door.

"So I was in a futsal match?" My leg walks in. I've been preparing excuses ever since I got home from Sandro's house.

"Mom thinks you've been home from school" said the mother closing the door.

"Not yet" I answered into the room. I just hacked my dead BlackBerry. Mutia must be worried about me too.

"Tokay's the futsal last night?"

"I played the futsal mama mocked" I replied as I had planned. The TV sounds were scrambled. Mom changed the broadcast.

"Keep winning?" Ask.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I believe in my reasons.

"Lose. Only until the semifinals" I replied

The atmosphere was silent for a moment. I changed my uniform. I went out and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. After that I sat down near my mom in front of the tv. I was watching her favorite Turkish drama. I don't know what the movie title is. I call it a songgul movie. But that's not the title of the movie. Songgul is the girl's name in the role of the Turkish film.

"You're playing futsal, you're not carrying futsal shoes" asked the suspicious mother.

Damnit. I didn't expect you to ask such a thing. "Yes, I didn't go to school this afternoon. So I fuckin' minjem buddy's shoes" I said.

Mom just shut up. His eyes were focused on the television screen. I hope you believe and don't prolong the problem.

"Have you eaten?" Ask me to focus on watching her favorite movie.

"Already. After returning home futsal immediately eat together" Sahutku.

"Goodoo. I did not cook it. I just got home too" said my mother.

I smile. I no longer suspect my lies. I accompanied my mother to her favorite movie. Girls living in an orphanage. The movie feels bad when one of them starts being picked up as an adopted child. Songgul's stepfather was a criminal. His father wanted to rape Songgul immediately home from school. Mom screamed enthusiastically watching her favorite movie.

My blackberry rings. I ran into the room. Tia(Mylife) written on bb screen. Mutia will be angry because I have no news tonight. But I prepared the reason.

"Hello" Sahutku.

"I was in a futsal race. My phone's dead so I can't catch you"

"You can lie to me. You said you were in afternoon school. But in fact, you did not go to afternoon school. You futsal what the hell was last night coming home"

Mutia knows I don't go to afternoon school. How did he know? "The tournament was just one day. Many teams are competing. It's only natural that I come home at night"

"Where's the tournament?" Tanya mutia cut off the conversation.

"In solok"

"Blank egg"

"Judek. If you don't believe"

"Ohhh so that's it. You are more indifferent now. Don't you walk with another girl?" Accuse mutia "Yes? Huh, did you get a new girl?"

"You why the hell? Why even accuse me of not being clear gini. I'm sorry for giving you news. But I wasn't intentional. Hp I'm dead. You should understand" I explained. Mutia was always possessive when I couldn't give her the news.

"No. I don't believe in you"

"Ohhh jaudah. If you don't believe me again. It's just that I made it clear that you don't believe" I'm getting sick of mutia's cynical attitude.

"How would I believe. You think I'm an easy kid to lie to. What is it that you are honest"

I breathed a rough breath. I don't know how to calm mutia down. "If you accuse me of walking or having a new girl you are wrong. I'm not like that. I just believe..."

"You lied to your mother. Just like your own mother you lied. Especially me" Cut mutia.

I let out a breath. "As far as you are. I'm tired of you being indistinctly angry" I'm fed up.

"Ohh tired. Okay"

"Jude" answered.

"Tits...Tittt's..." Phone's closed.

I lay with a guilty feeling in my heart. My lies are not without reason. I lied so that mutia would not feel disappointed when I told her the truth. Maybe when I'm honest he'll cry out feeling like I'm not going to be human in the dark. That's why I choose to lie so that everything is fine and under control. But lies also make the situation more runny with a fight that does not know what will end like.

My eyes were closed with my mind constantly talking. The offer of ipan was still tingling also became a burden in the head. I was very worried about the offer of ipan. One side in me wants to accept ipan's offer. The freedom of the soul and the tantalizing money made me see beauty in the dark. But on the one hand, they reject the fear of freedom that could end up in years of imprisonment.

I have trouble sleeping. Tired bodies and eyes were defeated by my heavy mind. The more I forced myself to sleep. The more my mind is out of control and unable to sleep. At times like this, I need marijuana to calm my messed up mind. But for a few days I did not smoke marijuana.

I lay with hopes born of my mind that kept speaking. I hope that our relationship with Mutia does not end with the word break up.