Black Room

Black Room
A negligent servant



Three things are enemies in a man; treasure, throne and woman.


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One day, there will be a story that will be remembered. The past is a stopping point for a moment to remember a story as a meaning in life. Whether it's about truth and error, beauty or pain. But for sure, the essence of the past is just to be a lesson.


Nothing is in vain in this life. Good and bad are only human perceptions in assessing an event. Sometimes good is not good for us. And the bad is not necessarily entirely bad for us. Life is like a scale that can change instantly. Where everything depends on His will.


No child would be happy to receive both parents divorced. How much I hate my father's treatment of my mother. Their percerain remains the most profound sadness. But I try to think positively. And take wisdom so that I may not become like my father.


I began to understand the meaning of happiness and sadness in life. Sadness and happiness are born from our mindset in addressing a situation. Thoughts that dissolve in sadness will make us worse in difficult circumstances. And happiness is created when we can be heartened to accept all difficulties.


Heavy rain falls on Wednesday night. I talked to my mom after dinner. Mom told me about the conference that I didn't attend this afternoon. I hated my father even more when my mother told me that he was attending the trial with his new wife. But the mother seemed immune to the attitude of the father who was too stupid.


"Hate will only make the pain painful. The wound becomes pus. And your heart will continue to be tormented by vengeance" said the mother.


"But you deserve to be hated mom?" My law does not accept.


"Every living human being does not escape error. There was a deliberate mistake. And there are also mistakes that are never realized at all. But our job as human beings is simply to try to forgive."


I just kept quiet. I have no answer to vent my hatred for you. Mother always split father. Whether it is made of what the heart of the mother to easily forgive the father who has betrayed her.


"This world is like a lego game that will one day be greedy and destroyed. If you think about how this life started, it wouldn't fit with reason. It can be accepted with logic. It does not make sense when a dead man will be revived in eternity. But we have to believe. At least we believe that death is a certainty"


I just shut up and nodded. I agree with all of Mom's words.


"Kikan will take mother's advice. Kikan won't be like father" I said.


"The world is about black and white. Other colors are a complement to perfection. But life is only black and white. Like hell and heaven. Sin and reward. Death and life. People live a life between the good and the bad"


I looked at my mother not understanding. Mother's words are too hard for me to understand.


"Life is just a journey waiting to die. Every second we walk towards death. And when that deadline has come, our trials in the world have ended. Know, Son.... This world is just a test where the final score will determine us into heaven or hell"


I'm nodding. She looked at me with teary eyes. Mom smiled holding back her tears that were about to fall.


"You don't want to be like your father, do you?" Ask mother.


I shook my head.


"Start praying from now on" said the mother.


I swallowed spit. I'm cleaning up the dirty dishes on the table. I just kept quiet and couldn't answer my mother's questions.


"Sholatlah who will be your helper at the end" said the mother and passed into the kitchen.


I remained silent at the table eating. I am not a holy man when I live in black space. I am a sinful and sinful man. I don't know when I'll be waiting for human life in the dark. Deep in the veins. I also want to go home to be a human survivor. However, I don't know if the door to his direction will open in my heart.


The rain outside the house began to fall. Vehicles began to pass in the streets of hamlet tuo. I locked myself in my room. Mom was heard turning on the television and shooting her favorite movie. I contemplate life before going to sleep.