Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

94. Missing and Jealousy

🍁If someone is falling in love, then longing and jealousy will surely dominate.🍁

Hara

I closed my eyes for a moment while breathing out, in order to dispel the sense that continues to bind. I took a cigarette out of the pack on the table, wanting to shake off the thoughts by smoking. However, once the twisting of tobacco touches the lips, precisely the various shadows increasingly flashed in the mind.

I threw my back on the back of the sofa, rubbing my face. Much work today requires full concentration, I must not be affected by unimportant thoughts. I took a match from my pants pocket, lit a cigarette immediately. Enjoy the twisting of vanilla flavored tobacco, hoping to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling full of prejudice.

What's the matter with me? Since last night coming home from Aneesha's house, many disturbing thoughts. The small talk with Jenar made me think of a lot of things.

Genar is not beautiful, but sweet and pleasant to look at. Almost every day we met, I realized that she had a different attraction than other girls. Even with his always modest appearance, being able to provoke my pent-up desire as a man.

She is a cheerful girl, though more silent if she is gathering with the crowd. Selfish, good at hiding his weak side so that others do not give mercy. It makes me want to always protect and be close to him.

Jenar is a careless girl, not diligent, but good at cooking. The taste of the cuisine is distinctive, like always want to taste it again. He often neglects important things, such as wearing seatbealt, carrying an umbrella, and even forgetting to tie his shoelaces in a hurry. I also found him forgetting to tie the ropes, when he was about to leave for campus. Looks like he needs someone who can manage his life to be more organized.

I shook my head, wiping my face once more to stop the wandering mind. What exactly makes me think about it? It was still morning and the image of a simple face with a smile that formed dimples on both sides of her cheeks was simply unfulfilling. Precisely more flashed, dominate thoughts and feelings.

Falling in love, is that how it feels? When the view is only in one direction, and the heart cannot lie if there is a growing sense in there. As one's face continues to overshadow, it presents the desire to meet at all times. It turns out that longing is hard.

Kurogoh pants pocket, to pick up the phone. I've been feeling uneasy only because I haven't heard from him. If it wasn't Sunday, I would've gone out early in the morning and sat outside her room waiting for her to finish teaching. I always drift in a soft voice that calms the soul, whenever I hear teaching.

Three times I tried dialing the number, but only the waiting tone was heard. Ah, I forgot! She must not have had time to hold a cell phone because she was teaching children to memorize scriptures. It is better to just send a message, he can reply later if there is time.

I put the phone back in my pocket, and took the cigarette and the match. Kyai Ali and Bu Nyai Aisyah appeared out of the main house, meaning I had to be ready to do the job.

“It's all ready?” ask Kyai Ali.

I nodded, and Kang Mardi opened the car door. Kyai Ali turned to his wife for a while and asked, “Are you really willing to come? There is still time to change your mind.”

Bu Nyai nodded, “I must know the field, before fighting.”

Kyai Ali laughed, then embraced the nyai bu. He let his wife in the car first while muttering, “This is my wife! Thank you for being my first and foremost supporter.”

“You’re wellcome! If not the wife who supports the husband, then who else?” replied Miss Nyai before entering the car.

Kyai Ali laughed again, “We like to go ahead with legislative candidates, yes, Mi? Though only want to share mukena and gamis.”

“Lho, if nyaleg even umi does not want to support abah. Wegah nek keeps busy campaign rono-rene, ora duwe wektu kanggo family.” Ms. Nyai joking, not wanting her husband busy campaign to forget the time for family.

"Yes, yes, Mi. Ngurus pesantren and santriya alone are very busy, kok, strange nyaleg." Kyai Ali chimed in with his wife.

Kang Mardi and I exchanged lyrics to hear the chatter of this middle-aged couple. Until Kang Mardi started running the car, Pak kyai and bu nyai were still throwing jokes at each other. Enough to divert thoughts in the mind that have not been lost.

My phone shook, moments when the car had mingled with other vehicles on the highway. Immediately I took it, to check the notification of incoming messages. A little relieved, see the contact name on the top row of chat.

Sorry, out of dluha, just open hp. What's the matter, Mr. Hara on the phone early in the morning?

Sentence reply from Jenar to the message I sent a moment ago. No need to linger, I immediately sent a reply.

'No pa-pa, just want to know what you're doing?'

After a few seconds, the reply came again. Start with a picture of a smiling emoticon, followed by a row of sentences.

Oh, this is again getting ready for a pilgrimage around.

I frowned for a moment, after reading the chat that managed to tickle my curiosity.

'Which traveling pilgrimage? Same who? You didn't tell me yesterday?'

I took a breath, for a few jokes waiting for a reply to a message from Jenar. However, the only thing that came was a photo, it made my head hot when I saw that. Without thinking for a long time, I called him immediately.

“Where are you going, anyway? Why should he be the same?” Without further ado I asked, as soon as Genar picked up the phone.

I shook my head while massaging the temple which suddenly felt dizzy, just because I imagined Jenar going all day to the places mentioned with a man.

“Why didn't you say yesterday?” I asked in an angry tone, feeling cheated.

[Why should I say to my father? No way you want to come, right? I often participate in traveling pilgrimage groups that are routinely held by Mas Faiz and the manager of this art house, kok.]

I kept quiet, listening to Jenar's long explanation. The words he spoke made me realize something. Who am I until Jenar has to tell her every activity? My attitude is too possessive, even though we have no special relationship.

[Sir Hara would like me to buy some souvenirs?]

I smiled wryly at Jenar's question. The naivety of the girl was able to dispel the anger that was originally about to rise. Though all thoughts are not perfect.

“No, thank you.” I replied briefly.

[Okay, then. Shrimp first, yes, sir. I'm leaving, here.]

“Yes, be careful! Bring an umbrella in case it rains.”

[okay! Insgalnn ..].

A roomchat view is visible, after Jenar ends the call. I looked back at the photo he sent a moment ago, making the discomfort come back. The photo shows several men, one of whom is Lion. The man seems to be more diligent in visiting Jenar. I didn't like to see him among the little kids, looking like he was chatting with Mas Faiz.

Holy hooch! Just looking at a photo that doesn't even have Jenar in it alone, can make me envious. It seems true that I am jealous. But who and what is my reason?

Suddenly all sorts of thoughts flashed in his mind. Imagining Lion staging an action to get close to Jenar, the man could have taken a chance in a narrowness. Use the weak side of Genar to take chances.

I let out a rough breath, while closing the chat room. Strive to get rid of unwarranted prejudices that just appear. All my life this time, I was worried about someone excessively. No doubt makes the head feel dizzy.

“Why, Mas?”

I turned to the right side, in order to hear the question posed by Kang Mardi. Apparently he was watching me. I could have forgotten, if I was in the car with three other people, just because I was so carried away by an unreasonable feeling.

“There's a problem, Hara?”

Holy hooch! Kyai Ali also noticed me apparently. Lest everyone in this car steal my conversation with Jenar on the phone earlier.

“Whose phone, Mas? Looks like there's a serious problem, huh?” Kang Mardi asked again, even though I had not had time to answer the first question.

“No problem, really. Just a friend's phone,” I replied accordingly.

“Definitely a close friend, huh, Hara? You seem to be worried once.” Bu Nyai's guess is right on target.

However, I still avoided. Slightly rotate the body to give an answer, “No, Miss Nyai. Just regular friends.”

Of course I don't want anyone to know about this unclear feeling. I'll keep it tight, until I find a good time to uncover. Because, I have to convince myself first, about this still gray feeling. I am not a child, who hastily took a step.

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Seriate....

Guys, sorry, just got up. 😉 Saturday-week many events, apparently did not have time to look here. Forgiven, huh? Yes, dong, definitely. Careful if you don't? 😁👌❤

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Hara is already aware of her feelings, nih, guys! But he still needs faith, huh? How will Jenar will be aware also not if being assessed by the man with the face of the fathers but this handsome. Next, we'll see what happens after Hara is jealous of her longing. 😉