Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah
57. Seeing your Weak side
🍁Be unconcerned does not mean lost empathy🍁
Muttering to each other, the voice of the person reading the scriptures echoed throughout. Successfully reached the ear, even though it was blocked by the wall. Shaking in the chest is still felt even though I am used to it almost every time I hear a sound like this.
Tonight, I was sitting on the porch of Kyai Ali's house, waiting for him to finish his activities with the students. While smoking and enjoying the sound that resembles the hum of the bee.
When deciding to stay in the pesantren, I had to adapt to the noise and activity of the students who seemed to be non-stop. No matter morning, afternoon, evening, night, there is something they do. From 24 hours they only sleep about three to four hours. Beyond that they do various activities related to worship. Like they did this late night.
If it wasn't for obeying Kyai Ali's orders, I would have slept. I don't know what he wants to talk about, so ask me to wait. No, no! He was waiting for me since the afternoon. However, I just returned to the boarding house at night. When he was busy working with the students.
In my heart I cursed myself. Had it not been for the useless bo-doh thing, Kyai Ali and I could have met this afternoon. It's my own fault, believing in a kid's bullshit. Wasting free time by waiting for him for more than three hours.
This afternoon was the first time I had done anything useless in my life. According to a girl's request, which turned out to be just a joke. Bo-dohnya I think what he said is indeed a serious request.
At 17:45 I arrived at the Jombor terminal. Rela left Naufal who still wanted to be accompanied by play, to pick up Jenar.
Before leaving, I had already thought about many things. Ternasuk ask for consideration to Mbak Nabila. What prompted the decision to pick him up, is the concern if there is no bus from Jombor to Magelang.
I was thinking, he'd be so late at home if he missed the last bus. The more dangerous the night becomes for a girl like her to travel alone.
But what do I get? There ain't! I'm not getting anything.
An hour of waiting, I can still tolerate. Maybe he did other activities after class, or did not immediately get a bus from the campus to the terminal.
However, after the next hour Jenar did not come, I became angry. Various kinds of estimates overshadow the brain, especially after several times I tried to call but not lifted. Still trying to survive waiting, until the terminal is quiet, because it's too late.
Don't ask me how many times I've tried to reach him. Since the phone number is active, but not lifted, until it cannot be connected. Success causes worry.
I tried to come to the campus. Security said there were no hours of lectures or activities on campus tonight. I saw the atmosphere of the campus was deserted.
Where's Jenar? Been home? Maybe he's staying at his friend's house, or coming home in an online taxi so don't get off at the terminal.
In order to confirm the estimate, I tried to contact him again. His phone is still inactive. For the first time in my life, I was worried about someone. Even with Cecilia having lived with me for a long time, I have never been this worried.
For a while I sat quietly in the car that was still parked on the campus courtyard. Crossed his mind to Magelang, check in case Jenar turned out to be in his house.
Before running the car, I checked my phone again. Seeing that Jenar's number was online, I immediately contacted her and connected in the second ring. Without further ado I asked where he was, in order to unravel the worry led to panic.
Although he felt relieved by the answer he gave, but could not hide the annoyance that burst forth. The worry that turned into anger heard a relaxed pitched voice from across the phone.
It turned out that Jenar had come home from earlier and she had not given me any news at all. Even deliberately ignoring my calls.
Without waiting for him to finish the sentence, I immediately hung up the phone. It felt free to listen, it seemed like he had forgotten to make an appointment. Unconsciously never express a request.
It felt like that night I became the most to-lol man in the world. A Hara, a man who never reneges on a deal, may be given false hope by an immature girl.
I can hardly believe what's going on. This time I was lied to. Not by a business partner, or competitor, but just a regular teenage girl.
Reading the message that Genar sent made me laugh at myself.
[Sir Hara wasn't picking me up, was she?]
What kind of question is that?
***
A busy day has begun. Kyai Ali gave me an extra job as his bodyguard.
“If the driver is easy to find. There is no you, there are still other students willing to replace. But to be a bodyguard, I see you are more suitable. Your body is stout and your face is not friendly, every day.” said Kyai Ali.
I did not immediately accept the request. Not because of the payment or type of work, but the place where Kyai Ali filled the study made me have to consider carefully. In addition, I have to ask for consideration to mbak Nabila and Pak Wawan first. I'm part of their family now, afraid of being blamed for making decisions without talking to them.
“Say you do not mind serving Kyai Ali, this is an opportunity, you know.” replied mbak Nabila when I asked for an opinion.
“My work is a lot, Ma'am. Aneesha's house has begun to be renovated, Jogja branch office is also having problems, not to mention I am planting capital in a new business.” I tried to reason in order to reject Kyai Ali's request.
“Kyai Ali's study schedule is only once a week, it doesn't seem like it will interfere with your other work.”
“No break time dong, Mbak?”
“But, Mbak-”
I haven't had time to continue the sentence, mbak Nabila has patted my shoulder, “just go, first. Who knows you can find the calm you have been looking for.”
Is that true? The calm I had been looking for was impossible to find by being Kyai Ali's bodyguard. Moreover, where kyai Ali filled the study, not a mosque or mosque but ….
“Then according to father and mas Akmal how?” The question mbak Nabila made me look at Pak Wawan and mas Akmal alternately.
As usual, Pak Wawan gave a relaxed answer, “ whatever Hara who underwent.”
While Akmal, it does not help to convince doubts. “Think about it, Hara! If mas is you, do not use it for long directly take. Good, can wash mat-”
Mas Akmal did not finish the sentence, because Mbak Nabila first grabbed his ears hard. Until he complains and begs for forgiveness. Sontan me and Pak Wawan shook their heads inexhaustibly with the ridiculous level of the harmonious couple.
“Remember, yes, Hara! If you are willing to accept Kyai Ali's request, don't be tempted! Intend to do good, not take advantage of opportunities.”
This is what makes me doubt, can I? Although it has not been in contact with the night world for a long time, but I have not forgotten how to play and have fun. However, it seems that Kyai Ali's request is quite interesting.
For a few days I thought about good and bad if I accepted Kyai Ali's request or refused it. I am indeed the type of person who is full of planning, not hasty to make decisions, until it causes regret later. Until I finally accepted, becoming a bodyguard every time Kyai Ali completed his studies in a localization. Wednesday morning became a routine agenda I must be ready to deliver and secure kyai Ali while in a place that managed to change views, since the first time I came.
So busy living the day, until I almost forgot to attend the pre opening cafe meeting. Yeah, I invested in a cafe built by Ghufron's friends. The cafe is Ghufron and Jenar's biggest dream. Now he is trying to be realized by his friends.
Lucky Akbar reminded, so I immediately darted after finishing business at the branch office. Previously no one had said that Jenar would come at this meeting. It turns out he designed the concept of the interior cafe. Oh, ja. This cafe is Ghufron's big plan of course he designed it with his future wife, right?
Some days trying not to offend with Jenar, it turns out to meet in one room, discussing the same thing. What happens sometimes does not fit what is planned, as funny as it is destiny.
I was professional when discussing the concept of the cafe, including the interior design. Trying to position yourself as the largest investor, so there is a right to disagree with the concept that Jenar exposes.
However, I did not tell him directly, choosing Akbar as the go-between. Besides being unkind, worried about offending, I was reluctant to argue with Jenar. Feeling upset because the incident the other day is still a little felt. He had underestimated a Hara, daring to play around with promises. Saying only jokes, not the attitude of an educated person.
It was not Jenar who answered my objections about the concept, but Nalini. I had a long argument with Ghufron's brother. He insisted on supporting Jenar, whereas I wanted the concept to be fixed. It is difficult to talk to young people who have not had much experience in business.
When Nalini and I were throwing thoughts at each other, someone accidentally nudged a can filled with beer that had just opened. I don't know who brought the beer during this serious meeting, it just makes me think nothing of it.
My eyes watch out for Nalini who is busy because her shirt was hit by a beer spill. While next to him, Jenar was covering her nose using the tip of the veil.
I counted in my heart, one second, two, three .. In the count of five, Jenar stood up rudely, hurriedly running away from the meeting without saying a word.
“Kebelet peed maybe him,” said Nalini. Others just shrugged their shoulders, not wanting to know.
Could it be that only I know about the state of Jenar? The stench of alcohol emanating sharply from the beer spill, must have made him uncomfortable. I know exactly what the reason he has to leave.
Of this group of people who he said were friends of the Jenar and Ghufron communities, no one felt guilty. Including people who bring beer, also nudge until the unpleasant-smelling liquid is spilled. Just this time I feel the smell of unpleasant, even though the spilled only alcoholic drinks with the lightest levels.
Is it because I no longer consume it, so forget the aroma of alcoholic beverages?
No one cared about Jenar's departure. Until the time kept turning, while the girl did not return. Too long if he goes away just want to pee.
“This is whose coffee?” nalini's question succeeded in disturbing the concentration that had indeed collapsed. I noticed he was picking up instant coffee in a small sachet lying nearby. Makes me remember something.
Without saying anything, I quickly moved on. Half-runningly snatched the coffee from Nalini's hand, following the direction in which Jenar had gone. My steps stopped when I got outside the building. There was no one there, but there was a staircase in the front room, attracting attention.
I deliberately hardened the sound of steps up the stairs, to be heard by anyone above. The wind blew when I got to the rooftop. Successfully pulled the hair slightly elongated because I rarely cut.
As soon as I swept my eyes across the rooftop, there was a sense of relief surrounding. Seeing a girl sitting hugging my knees, my foot reflexes moved slowly. The tip of his veil swayed in the wind, tempting to pay more careful attention.
Although it was faint, I could see his shoulders heaving and sounding irregular breaths. Yeah, God! This girl is shivering.
I bent one knee in front of him while unwrapping the coffee. The distinctive aroma of coffee powder is everywhere, because it is blown by the wind. Successfully make Jenar lift the head that was originally buried between the two knees.
With a quick movement, Jenar cupped both palms, grasping my hand that was holding the coffee. He pulled as hard as he could, inhaling the aroma of ground coffee deeply with his eyes closed. It seemed like he was seeking tranquility, successfully making my heart break.
I let her cold hand tightly grip my hand as she continued to sip the coffee grounds, until she found her own composure. Because this is all I can do to help her now.
For the first time in my life, I saw the weak side of a girl. All this time I knew the sweet and cheerful Jenar, not her who endured all this pain. This girl managed to pick up my mother's taste.
