Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

39. Destiny is Never Wrong.

🌹Alloh presents love in the heart of man in His way, then when Allah takes a person from our side even at His will. Sometimes destiny is not what we expect, but surely Allah's destiny is never wrong, always comes at the right time. It is inevitable, it cannot be denied.🌹

String.

Wednesdays.

Day nine after Ghufron was sentenced to suffer from a terrible disease that until now has not been found with certainty what the cure is. Leukemia is also called blood cancer. Diseases that are damage to blood cells, causing the production of white blood cells in the blood to increase rapidly

White blood cells (leukocytes) act as antibodies, antidotes to viruses, bacteria and diseases that enter the body. While red blood cells (erythrocytes) function to carry oxygen throughout the body and carry carbon dioxide to the lungs.

Both are components in blood cells, in addition to platelets (pieces of blood) and blood plasma. Under normal conditions, the number of leukocytes will increase when there are viruses, bacteria, or diseases that enter the body. Leukocytes will form antibodies to fight bad bacteria, however, in patients with leukemia the number of white blood cells increases can not be controlled. If this condition continues, then white blood cells can eat other cells in the body.

Today is the schedule of Ghufron performing follow-up examinations at the central public hospital, the largest and most complete hospital which is the national referral hospital in Yogyakarta. Based on the letter of reference made by dr. Chandra, Ghufron had to go through several follow-up examinations, including examination of the spinal cord to determine the type of blood cell damage from the place of production.

I can't accompany Ghufron to check in today, because I've skipped college too often. I didn't want to get low grades just because I left class too often. Your hopes that I will be an exemplary midwife are shattered and I don't want that to happen.

I had just reached Dito's house that afternoon when the phone in my bag rang. I opened the bag to get the phone.

Ghufron….

I clapped my fingers to pick up the call from my future husband, smiling with relief. Finally what I've been waiting for since morning is telling you as well.

“Assalamu’alaikum, Mas.”.

“Wa’alaikum greetings, Nduk. Again where?”

“Just get home, Mas. It's still on the terrace, off the shoes.” I answered honestly, because I was sitting on the porch chair while taking off my shoes, "where's gold?"

“Mas is still in the same hospital sir Hara.”

I nodded, though I knew Ghufron couldn't possibly see me. I clamped the phone between my shoulder and ear, because my shoelaces were hard to break using only one hand.

“Now what's up? Have you eaten yet?”

“Mas again sitting in the canteen accompanying Pak Hara drinking coffee.”

Silent moment....

I waited for the ghufron mas to continue the sentence, because from the tone of his speech mas Ghufron like to say something but restrained. However, after a few jokes he did not say anything. Only his heavy breaths I heard faintly.

“Mas? How's diem?”

Ghufron did not speak, until I called him three times.

“Mas is okay?”

“Nduk?”

“Dalem, Mas.”

“So mas should transfusion blood again 2 bags. Should have been inpatient, but I asked to go home. Tomorrow you still have to go to the hospital again to check the spinal cord.”

“Lho, why ask to go home, Mas? Shouldn't be a problem hospitalization first.”

“Mas is tired, Nduk. Equal legs feel stiff hands, can no longer be pricked repeatedly needles. It feels already not koruan, to be confused mas rasain mas own body.”

“Don't do that, dong, Mas. Mas must be spirit, let it heal quickly.”

“Mas has resigned, Nduk. I'm tired of going back and forth to the hospital, tired of this check-it, tired of taking medicine. Poor Mr. Hara too, just now he had to painstakingly find a platelet donor for gold. It seems like it is enough to bother many people.”

“Mas?”

“Mas sorry, yes, Nduk. If you can not keep the promise to take you to psychiatry, sorry because mas can not accompany you realize the ideals-”

I cut a long sentence Ghufron mas not yet finished said, “Mas! Don't say anything, deh.”

“Mas resigned to the will of Alloh, Nduk.”

There was nothing I could say to respond to the words of my future husband, for I could not prevent the tears from falling down one by one down the cheeks. I closed my eyes, holding my sob while I was still hearing the final-goal sound of Ghufron breathing.

Until the phone call ended, we were silent. I forget that my shoes have not been completely removed, one shoe still covers my right foot. I leaned my back against the back of the rattan chair with a bright look. In my heart I said, ‘should I also give up, Mas?’

After that there was no more talk between me and Ghufron. The chat I sent out only ticks two shades of gray, not turning blue. He ignored my calls too.

I called Nalini and Mr. Hara, they compactly said that Ghufron was in need of rest. They asked me to calm down, but my feelings said something was going to happen.

Want me to go to the house of Ghufron mas that afternoon, if only Dito did not forbid me. Because the rain fell too hard and lightning struck, the wind was blowing too hard. Dangerous if reckless driving in extreme weather conditions like this.

I waited for the rain to subside, but until the time isya’ arrived the rain even more heavy. As if nature was not ridho I met with mas Ghufron. So that I can only join wailing along with the fall of water droplets from the sky. After I sent you the do’a practice that Kyai Ali had given me when my father was sick some time ago.

A little calmed down because ghufron replied to the last message I sent. Even if only in short sentences.

[Thank you, Nduk. Insyaalloh will practice.]

I sent a message to encourage my fiancee. Simple sentences that I hope will make Ghufron not give up. I send sweet and comforting words in the hope that Ghufron will return to optimism. Even though I didn't get any more messages from him that night.

I took the water, I put on a white channel and I spread out the prayer mat. Carry out obligations as a Muslim, namely praying isya’. I sent sholawat to the Prophet Muhammad SAW, I said do’a to my parents, I just gave al-Fatehah gift to Ghufron mas.

Heavy rain does not subside, even until the night is late. Quiz the night by reading the letter of Al-mulk, so that the worry in my heart slightly unraveled. I give all to the Supreme Owner of life, I call the name of Allah in a long dhikr. Until I lay down on the bed, unwind and tired after a day of activity.

***

“Nduk! Jenar ... wake up, darling!”

A heavy voice called my soul back from the subconscious. I opened my eyes and held my head, but a very bright light hit my face. I raised my palm to dispel the glare while narrowing my eyes. What light is this? So dazzling.

I straightened my body, straightening the legs that were originally bent while looking left-right. I sat on a green meadow that was still wet with dew. I heard the sound of water gurgling that turned out to be coming from a river that flowed not far from where I was sitting. As I recall, I was in the room twisting prayer beads to count dhikr, but why did I wake up here? Where is this?

“Nduk ...”

The voice calling out made me turn to the side, just as a man was sitting beside me. I lowered my hand, for the bright light was no longer blinding, covered by the shadow of the man next to me.

“English, yes, Nduk?”

I stared at Ghufron from top to bottom. She was wearing a sarong and white cocoa clothes, her slightly wet hair was blown off by the blowing wind. His face was very clean, his aura was glowing.

“If there is a place more beautiful and than this place, mas want to live there forever, Nduk.”

“This place is beautiful enough, Mas.”

“There are more beautiful, Nduk. A place where rivers of milk flow and fruit trees grow in very fertile soil. A place that can only be reached by people who worship Allah.”

I still stared at Ghufron who, not once, looked straight ahead at me, towards the vast green meadows.

“Means mas that place is heaven?”

“Iya, Nduk. You see up ahead there, Nduk?”

I followed the direction pointed by Ghufron with his finger. I had to squint for the sake of looking far past the vast grassland. There was a path that stretched, a path leading towards a very bright dazzling light.

“You know which way it goes, Nduk?”

I shook my head, had no idea to answer, “where did that road go, Mas?”

“Placement heaven. Wait for you there.”

After saying this, Ghufron moved from his seat. I had to look up to see his face that now looked cheerful. He smiled at me at a glance, then looked straight ahead, “forgive me, yes, Nduk! Mas can't take you there.”

“Where are you going?”

“Mas loves you, but mas loves the destiny given by Allah. Mas go, huh?”

Without waiting for my answer, Ghufron stepped away leaving me alone in this vast meadow. He paid no heed to my cry calling his name, continued walking without looking. My cry exploded as I continued to call upon Ghufron's name.

“Mas! Ghufron, where are you going?”

“Do not go, Mas!”

“I don't want to be left alone!”

Sleaking while squinting, I followed the long steps of Ghufron but still could not catch up with him. He stepped further and further into the extremely bright light. Far away until the shadow slowly shrinks smaller until it is no longer visible to me.

I fell down, lamenting his departure. I felt the bright light begin to dim as the meadow also shrunk. The dim turned dark, the green meadows disappeared, no more water gurgling sounds I heard. I was alone in the darkness, roaring and wailing but no one came, no one heard my cries.

My body feels cold, shivering, wet with sweat and tears. However, instantly I gasped like something was pulling my body into another dimension. I woke up with hunting breath, “astaghfirullhaladzim..” I said while wiping my face to wipe off sweat.

I lifted my heavy head, narrowed my eyes to match my vision with the white light above my head. I looked around, the walls were light green and the floor was white. I was in my room, I was dreaming. A dream that made me feel bad, a dream I didn't expect to be real.

I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall of the room, the short needle was near the number 4 while the long needle pointed at the number 10. At 03.50 WIB, it was still too early, the dawn was not reverberating. However, it was too late for me who usually woke up in the third of the night.

I spread both hands, writhing to dispel the drowsiness that still wants to attack. I dropped the blanket, then I lowered my legs from the bed. I walked to the study table, sat on a wooden chair and picked up my cell phone. I took off the charge cable from the socket, I've been connecting with the charger all night, surely now my phone battery is full.

Swab the screen to unlock, the first icon I touch is the most popular messaging app in green. I ignored a few chats from my friends, focused on one name that when I called my heart was always pounding. Ghufron.

[Nduk, Mr. Hara has already picked me up. After morning prayers, we went to the hospital. Do’ mas, yes, Nduk! Hopefully the results of blood tests and spinal cord examinations later both everything and mas quickly healthy again. Suwun top do’a-do’amu, Nduk.]

Without a second thought I typed a reply message, which was no longer answered by Ghufron. Maybe he was on his way to the hospital, so didn't have time to hold the phone. After all just a short chat from me, no need for a reply.

[Insyaalloh, hopefully Alloh immediately raised the disease mas. Spirit, yes, Mas. I'm sorry I can't accompany you, today there is an exam. Let me know when it's over, yes, Mom.]

Just one short sentence I got in return a few hours later.

[Suwong. (Still) Nduk.]

But enough can make me feel a little calm, because it means that Ghufron still wants to fight. Indeed our duty as humans is to strive, as long as the heart is still beating and can still freely breathe oxygen directly from nature.

I had no feeling that morning. Last night's dream didn't matter what it meant either. I move as usual, go to college, do activities on campus all day, without feeling something will happen.

Until 13.20 WIB at noon, when I just entered the room to take the next class. I got some unexpected news from Ghufron's contact number. The news was sent via broadcast messages to several chat groups and personal contacts by Nalini.

[Friends please gift al-fatihah letter to my sister. Now that Ghufron is in critical condition in the hospital, please do’a best of your friends. Do’a well will come back well anyway, thank you.]

At that moment my body felt weak, as if someone had removed my bones. My shoulders slit down until the rope of the hanging sling bag just fell down. Lucky I was standing in front of the classroom, so I could just sit down with a blank look.

Yes Alloh .. What should I do? What kind of destiny does God want? At that time I ran out of class, carrying a cell phone in my hand. I rushed down the corridor of the building, not caring about the people who came across me. I also don't care about the sound of yelling calling my name in the back, I don't know who.

With mixed feelings not because I call Dito's om number with trembling hands. I could no longer hide the shakes of the stifled voice when Om Dito picked up my phone.

“Om! Can I pick it up now? Otherwise, let me take a taxi to the hospital, huh? Mas ghufron critical.”

I took a breath while looking up, pushing the urgent clear liquid out of my eye. Standing uneasily I was at the front stop of the midwifery school building where I was studying, waiting for Dito to come. In my heart I continue to say’a may Allah allow me to meet with mas Ghufron, even for the last time ….

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Connect ....

What time is the next chapter up tomorrow? Just a surprise, huh? hehe.