Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

74. Angel Helper

🌵Alloh will not let humans alone walk alone, there is always someone deliberately sent to be a helper angel.🌵

String.

After browsing through some articles on the internet on how to cure phobias, I started to give it a try. Of the many ways, I chose the easiest, self-treatment (self-therapy). The first way is to motivate myself to face phobias, second I must be deliberately close to objects that make fear, then balanced with exercise and diet.

I had to buy those shitty things, then deliberately keep them in an area that was easy to reach. Try to convince yourself, motivate with positive thoughts and regulate emotions. Having become accustomed to the existence of beer and male perfumes, I only began the most extreme therapy. That is deliberately smell frightening that can cause traumatic effects.

The hardest part, because I had to force myself to touch something that scared me. Though just opening the lid of the beer can, this chest feels crowded, like squeezed by a big stone. Even when just a slight inhale of the masculine scented perfume that was deliberately sprayed, an overwhelming fear effect appeared all of a sudden.

I exhaled a long breath, staring at the beer cans and some perfumes with different scents lined up on the table. It hard. It seems like curing phobias through this self-help therapy method is failing. Instead of healing, I was increasingly feeling uncomfortable and afraid of the things that lined up on the table.

Non-rigid. Until I heard the rustling of the fish pond water surrounding my seat. The saung building in the middle of this pool is most suitable for solitude, because it is separated from other saung-saung.

“What are you doing there?” a voice made me look. Half surprised to see Mr. Hara suddenly already standing on the lip of the gazebo with a probing gaze.

I don't know since when the man was there, as I recall he hadn't come, when I came home from college. Damnit damnit! Alone in the quietest place, also take advantage of the opportunity when Ma'am Sayumi is busy cooking, there are still those who catch her. In fact, I have chosen the saung farthest from the main house that is being renovated

The man I didn't know when it came was walking in, then stopped right in front of the table, with his hands folded in front of his chest.

“Drunken?” asked Mr. Hara by pointing three cans of different brands of beer in front of me.

“Bir like this tastes bad, your head will only get dizzy if you drink this,” said Mr. Hara while lifting a can of white beer with the symbol of the anchor image brand.

“Since when do you like to drink alcohol? Or just trying? it's also-” Pak Hara pointed at the perfume lined up on the table, then asked in a trivial tone, “You try selling perfume or how?”

I took a deep breath before answering, “I don't want to drink, nor do I want to sell perfume.”

Not yet I finished talking, Mr Hara has asked again, “Keep, this is all for what?”

“Trial,”my answer is short.

Mr. Hara was silent, surely because he did not understand my words. I looked up, explaining, “I'm trying to get used to this stuff. If forced to often smell the smell of alcohol and perfumes of men, maybe my phobia can be cured.”

I bowed after I finished talking. Mr. Hara was probably holding back a laugh, just my guess because he didn't make a sound. He took a seat next to me, reaching into my pocket. We can be sure soon this place will be full of white smoke and the smell of cigarettes.

“How to cure a phobia that you are trying to be too extreme. Know where?” ask before lighting a cigarette.

“Internet,” I replied honestly.

“Oh! There are many ways on the internet, right? How many have you tried?” Mr. Hara asked again, exactly like the detective who was doing the interview.

“Ehm .. I think this way is easiest, so I immediately tried it.” I do not know why it feels necessary to answer all questions that are not his business.

“Age now, the internet is indeed a source of various information. Everything can be known just by searching on the internet, but you should know not everything you get there can be swallowed raw.” the thick white smoke comes out of his mouth, when Mr. Hara spoke at length.

“You should also already know, that not all phobias can be cured in the same way as you can on the internet.” explained Mr. Hara while hissing, smoking cigarettes.

Why is this guy so pretentious and smart-ass, anyway? Uh! He's smart, kali. Kan, a graduate from abroad. However, I do not like him interfering in my affairs. Who is he? Come directly to lecture, if you want a lecture should be on the pulpit there! Sucks.

“I'm sure every way you find on the internet, there must be a desclamer. Maybe you missed, try reading again!” mr. Hara's orders.

Without answering, I immediately packed up all the items on the table. However, Mr. Hara prevented it. He pulled my hand that was about to put a beer in a plastic bag.

“Where are you taking it?” ask Mr. Hara while looking at the plastic bag in my hand.

“Not a father's business!” ketus.

I threw his hand. Bad breath, because the pretentious Mr. Hara and like to meddle in my business.

"If Ms. Sayumi saw these things, she could have misunderstood." Mr. Hara's words managed to get me to stop packing. I let him take the plastic bag out of my hand, "Aren't you afraid he knows, just keep telling Mr Fares?"

"Sir Hara don't be so ignorant! Sayumi's mom is not a bad boy. Besides he's busy cooking, won't know I brought these things." I explained.

"okay! Then." Then." Mr. Hara took off the crackle bag, put it back on the table, "Please take it and do as you please with the stuff."

Right after Mr. Hara finished speaking, I heard Mbak Sayumi yelling, "Bak Jenar! Wanted Pakde Teguh!"

I looked up, there was no one in the backyard, the gate was also still tightly closed. Pakde Teguh must have come through the front door. It would be a question if I met him with a bag of crackers filled with foreign goods.

I hesitated to glance at Mr. Hara. He moved an eyebrow, as if he were welcoming and disparaging. Not yet I can find a way to hide these items, from the direction of the pendopo seen Pakde Teguh and Mas Irkham walk slowly. Ma'am Sayumi must have told them I was here, ouch! How'this?

"What are you guys here for?" pakde's question looked down, complete with a wrinkled forehead adding to the wrinkled gurat on his face.

I scratched my head wrapped in a veil that of course did not itch, thinking of words to answer Pakde's question. Not yet found the right sentence, precisely Mr. Hara has given an answer without me asking.

"Moreover, sir" said Mr. Hara.

"Thank you?" Pakde Teguh repeated the words of Mr. Hara.

"Here," Mr. Hara pointed to the plastic bag on the table, "So Jenar to the minimarket, I bought some goods, so this again it's a count of how many end."

"Researching, Jen? Why don't you ask Sayumi to leave?" Pakde Teguh began interrogating. Like that, whatever I do must be clearly known by him. I was confused as to what to answer, because I was not used to lying.

"So Jenar bought perfume, sir. Yeah, right, Jen?" Mr. Hara raised an eyebrow, forcing me to nod. Not entirely wrong either, because the one in the plastic bag is indeed perfume, although not today I bought it.

"It's my custody, right, Jen? I brought it, huh?" Not a question, but a statement. Because, Mr. Hara said while lifting a plastic bag.

I'm nodding. Mr. Hara took out his wallet from his pocket, took two hundred thousand bills, and handed them to me, "His return is for you, consider it a road wage."

"Well! Not bad also Jenar, titipin get a wage." joked Pakde Teguh.

I smiled wryly, accepting Mr. Hara's gift with a sigh. If I had the choice to refuse, why would Mr. Hara have to bother to help me who is in a difficult position.

"It's over, this?" Pakde Teguh asked, I answered with a nod.

"Follow sir now, huh?" pakde Teguh's Order.

"Where?" I asked while looking at Mas Irkham who had been silent since.

"Later tonight there is yasinan, Mbah Uti asked you to come." said pakde explained.

"True get ready first, yes, sirde." I replied, without the slightest bit of disputing the order.

"Take a change of clothes, tonight you go. Tomorrow we'll take you to campus." I'm obeying sirde's orders. In grateful hearts he was unsuspecting and asked a lot.

I rushed into the room to prepare, carrying enough clothes and college supplies. When it was almost finished, the phone located on the desk learned floundering signs there was an incoming call. I had to take a deep breath before receiving a call from the name of the contact whose owner was not far from me.

Mr. Hara Calling....

[Beverages and perfumes are mine, huh?]

The no-nonsense question I heard once the phone line was connected.

I did not answer, instead wanted to say the most troublesome thing, "The money that my beloved father entrusted Ma'am Sayumi, yes!"

[Why should I leave it to Ma'am Sayumi? The money was to pay for the beer and perfume I brought.]

"Sir Hara doesn't have to pay for it, because I bought it."

I took a long breath back. Mr. Hara makes me feel bad to refuse, hesitant to accept.

[Cruel?] Mr. Hara called because I was just quiet.

[Go to a psychiatrist and consult about your situation with a competent expert! Don't draw your own conclusions about how to treat the phobia!]

I closed my eyes for a moment, with my hands clenched. Mr. Hara is right, but I'm not ready. Other than time and cost, I don't know where to look for a psychologist. A person who is comfortable to consult and not to judge.

Once again I exhaled a long breath while staring at the reflection of my face in the mirror. The rustling sound of bamboo leaves in the wind can make me fixated. Yeah, Alloh! Should I give up on my phobia forever?

It was a moment of silence because we were silent to each other. Even I could hear Mr. Hara's heavy breathing. Then the typical baritone voice resuscitated the daydream.

[If you allow it, I can help]

***

Hara

I'm not the type of person who likes to interfere in other people's affairs, but saw Jenar tormented because of his phobias my instincts were tingled. Girls who used to get together with a lot of people, turned into private and often aloof. For the first time in my life, I felt the need to help others.

He did not ask for help. However, the magnitude of Jenar's desire to recover, made me unable to let him fight alone. The girl wouldn't tell anyone about her situation, except me. It was forced, because he relapsed while he was with me.

I just follow my heart, that no one else can help her. Although Jenar has a family, but she chose to face her own trauma.

It is not easy to find a suitable psychiatrist for Jenar, because here I do not have many acquaintances. However, it wasn't Hara if she couldn't work on it. Fortunately, you can ask for help from Kyai Ali and Gus Hafidz, who have many students, colleagues and friends. So that in an instant I can get a psychiatrist, Muslim woman and practice place close to the house of Jenar.

Without wasting any time immediately I made an appointment with the psychiatrist, as well as gave Jenar the schedule of his meeting.

I have made an appointment with a psychologist at the clinic, Thursday at 12.00 WIB. Do you want to be picked up or do we meet there?

Fill in the message I sent him. Jenar did not reply immediately, until I had to wait a long time. The reply from him was not a direct answer to my question.

Mr. Hara mis-sent the chat, huh?

Lazy to argue through a short message, I immediately called. The girl is not only innocent, it also has a low understanding power.

[I'm not sick, why should I see a doctor?]

As soon as the sentence that Jenar said, when the phone connection was just connected. I haven't even been able to explain the meaning of the chat I sent before.

“You said you wanted to recover from phobias, right? I find psychiatry and take care of the registration, you just come for a consultation.”

[Psychiatry? I, right, didn't tell you to get a psychiatrist.]

“Do not protest much, just come, really. You have special access, you know. Don't be late!”

Without waiting for an answer, I immediately disconnected the phone. Genar is the type of girl who likes to convoluted and think too long. Dealing with him needs a firm and undeniable attitude.

Because using the name Kyai Ali, I can register through a special route. The queue number from the place of registration of the patient, only as a formality. Luckily Jenar arrived on time, so we didn't have to wait in line for long in the waiting room.

“Pak Hara coming in?” jenar asked, when her name was called.

“Do what I enter? Who wants to consult you, of course it takes private time with his psychiatry.” replied I explained.

Long enough I waited, until Jenar came out with a sparkling face. I thought he was relieved after consulting. The smile on his lips was quite clear.

“It's done? There is a medicine that needs to be redeemed, no?” ask me for pleasantries, even though I had heard the nurse explain that Jenar only needed to pay the consultation fee.

Jenar shook her head before replying, “Say Mbak Tiara I don't need chemical medicine.”

"Tiara? I made an appointment with dr. Halimah, why did you say her name was Tiara?" I looked back at the signup sheet to make sure I didn't sign up wrong.

Jenar smiled, "Yes. I was in consultation with dr. Halimah, but there's a practice doctor too. His name is Mbak Tiara, he does not want to be called a doctor, because he has not passed the master of degree he said. He practices here as a co-asst. The guy's cool, you know. Nih! I'm given his business card."

Jenar gave a small paper, a glimpse of a row of names there.

"The card's funny, huh? Besides here, Ma'am Tiara also helps dr. Halimah at her clinic. " I don't respond to Jenar's words, no matter the business card.

“Continue? Next how?” I want to know the results of his consultation with the doctor.

“I just need storytelling therapy,” Genar answer sounds confusing to me. Fortunately he immediately explained his point, “I consult once a week, later the doctor will analyze the development of my condition. It does not have to be here, can go to Magelang clinic or make an appointment directly with Mbak Tiara.”

I'm nodding. As I thought from the beginning, Jenar just needs to share the story to recover from her hobby. May this be the right intermediary to treat phobia akibt trauma suffered by Jenar.

“We eat before we go home, huh? It's past lunchtime, you must be hungry, right?” Jenar smiled, without answering any questions.

“I am also hungry,” I firmly believe, so that Jenar does not reject the invitation.

“Ehm .. if you find a place to eat that has musolanya Pak Hara objected, no? You see I have not prayed dzuhur.” replied Jenar hesitated.

I'm nodding. Eating in a place where there is prayer, is not a heavy thing for me. After all, I was used to seeing or waiting for the prayer person, which made me no objection at all.

The distance from the hospital to the restaurant is not too far, within 10 minutes we have arrived. A waiter greeted us at the entrance of the restaurant. He kindly handed me the menu and booking notes, and let us choose our seats.

“Here is the musholanya, Mbak?” jenar asked, as I received the menu book from the waiter.

“There, Ma'am. Over there!” answer the waiter while pointing to the northwest of the restaurant.

“I pray first, yes, Sir?” pamit Jenar's.

Before he could leave, I prevented him, “What do you want to eat? Let me order first.”

“Pak Hara only, I don't eat. Sorry, I am fasting.” replied Jenar while then went to mushola.

I stared at his back away. Jenar, jenar .. why didn't you say you were fasting? I brought her to eat because I was worried she was hungry. You know, I just drove straight home. Fucking women! What's so hard to be honest.

For the first time in my life I felt wrong. Failing is the intention of wanting to be a helper angel who pays attention to him.

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Hi guys! Alhamdulillah, still had time to say hello😁. betewe still in the atmosphere of Lebaran, huh? So let me apologize born inner 🙏

Taqoballohu minna wa minkum, kullu aamiin wa antum bi khair...

Is there a similar notice to Tiara?😉

Eid al-Fitr 1443 H

La Lu Na/Desi Desma