Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

72.2. Meeting Heals Wounds

...🌵Maybe all wounds can heal just by forgetting. However, the reality ... some people actually have difficulty just to forget.🌵...

“Ehem ahem!” A throbbing sound from behind, managed to break the frozen atmosphere in the living room.

Jenar immediately pulled her hand a little rough. Making Varen aware and immediately apologizing in a very slow voice, until almost inaudible. Hara and Danish both stared at the source of the sound.

Sayumi's mother emerged from behind the sintru. He walked slowly with a tray containing a plate of fried bananas that gave off a distinctive, sweet aroma.

“Sorry, nggih. The snack is late coming,”, said Mbak Sayumi while putting a plate of fried bananas brownish with a sprinkling of palm sugar on it.

Varen rubbed his own nape, confirming the sitting position. Jenar suddenly felt wrong, because he had let a man touch his hands. The behavior of the two men did not escape the sight of Hara and Danish. Both define Varen and Jenar's attitude in different ways of thinking.

“Please sample! My original, you know, this. If the coffee runs out, I can make it again.” said Mbak Sayumi with friendly.

The woman in black veil looked at Jenar who was looking down while rubbing her hands. It makes Mbak Sayumi surprised, because Jenar looks like she is uncomfortable.

“Mbak Jenar why? Want me to make coffee or what?” mbak Sayumi asked with a head tilt, looking for Jenar's face that looked down deeply.

Jenar shook her head quickly, with her palms still continuing to rub against each other. Apparently he was sorry he could not resist Varen's touch earlier.

It was very noticeable that the girl could not sit quietly, being stricken with uneasiness. Varen feels guilty, because he knows Jenar does not like to be touched carelessly. In fact, he was carried away, taking the hand of Jenar without permission.

“Mbak Sayumi can sit here?” Hara stood up, giving her seat to Ma'am Sayumi.

The man seemed to be able to guess that Jenar was uncomfortable. He thought, the presence of Ma'am Sayumi could neutralize the atmosphere. Jenar should not be restless talking with guests who are all men.

“Maybe Jenar asked for company,” said Hara answered Jenar's anxiety.

Ma'am Sayumi was about to say yes, but Jenar refused in a high tone, “No! No need!” Then his voice swallowed as he continued the sentence, “Mbak Sayumi should not have heard this talk.”

“Lho ono opo to iki jane?” (What is this really). asked Mbak Sayumi want to know why Jenar suddenly angry.

Everyone stared at Jenar, the girl seemed to be trying to control herself. Avoiding anxiety and discomfort that reigns. He took a deep breath, before looking towards Ma'am Sayumi.

“Mbak can enter only and please do not nguping!” jenar said with a warning look.

Ma'am Sayumi was about to refute, but stopped because she saw Jenar code by shaking her head. Understand if this young employer is not wanting to be denied. She knew that as a domestic assistant, she should not interfere with the employer's affairs if she was not allowed to.

Saysumi's mother then passed by carrying an empty tray, although curiosity flashed in the mind. Hara sat down again, while Danish and Varen looked at each other.

“Until now, my family includes Ms Sayumi, no one knows about my circumstances. I don't want them to know ...” said Jenar when she felt that Ms Sayumi was far from hearing.

Varen advanced the body with a focused look at the girl beside him, “Why?”

Jenar was silent, not answering Varen's question. It made Varen ask again, “You should not bear the burden alone, Sweety. There is a family that loves you very much. You should have told them.”

“Varen is right, why don't you want them to know?” Danish asked.

Jenar took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. The feeling of being uninvited. Suddenly he remembered the first time he felt something was wrong with him and he didn't know who to tell him. At that time his brother was also in trouble, so he did not want to add to the burden of his father and mother.

“When we are one school, you never escape from my supervision.” said Varen. He still remembers when watching Jenar was his work every hour, even every minute.

“How am I supposed to not know, if you have such trauma?” ask Varen to know.

Jenar took a rough breath before replying in an annoyed tone, “Because I used to rarely get together with men and in our school no one drank alcohol. So I was hardly aware if the incident left a trauma that made me afraid of things that were actually trivial to others.”

Varen nodded, confirming Jenar's reply. The man again asked, “So how long has it been since that incident?”

Jenar saw Varen, determined to tell a story. Perhaps by telling people who were also in the same place at that time, it could reduce a little mental burden that he carried.

“Sister remember the time of the graduation ceremony of the sister class?” ask Jenar.

Varen was silent for a moment, remembering. It's been two years since he graduated high school, but nothing has escaped his memory.

“All the students gathered at the event, but there was a group of male students who were instead aloof in a quiet classroom corridor. It just so happened that I passed by, unintentionally smelling the smell of alcohol. I think just because the scent is foreign and I don't like it. Apparently, the other day when I accidentally inhaled the scent of a male perfume, that painful memory came back.” After affirming his heart, Jenar smoothly recounted an experience that made him want to forget, but could not.

“Gosh!” Varen threw his back against the back of the chair.

“Then you saved all that until now?” ask Danish. Jenar nodded.

“As I remember we already brought in a psychiatrist, did you not tell me everything at that time?” danish asked again, reminding that his family had tried as much as possible to anticipate the effects of the unpleasant events that befell Varen and Jenar first.

Jenar shook her head, “Because of that time I did not know I would experience something like this. Hard to forget, even the shadow was like keep following me.”

“Yes, Lord!” Danish is concerned.

“Why, Sweety? How can you still keep remembering the incident, even though it has long passed?” Varen urged with a tone of blame.

“Yes, how, Brother? I was there, seeing firsthand what they were doing. Try saying! If you are me, can you forget just like that?” jenar replied with teary eyes and chest up and down holding a sob.

The worst part of the pain she had been in was telling others.

“I'm also there, if you forgot!” Excited Varen, “I am there and the victim is my cousin, but I don't want to remember the incident anymore.” said Varen.

“Not everyone is like sister. If I can I also want to forget, but the reality that happens is that the memory often returns.” said Jenar while looking down. Refuting the words of Varen.

Danish rubbed Varen's shoulder so that her sister was a little calmer and did not confront Jenar. Because the girl looks like she's going to cry.

“True?” Call Danish to try to neutralize the atmosphere that had been tense, “Forcuse us, if it is still less than perfect when dealing with problems that occur in school. I feel responsible for the events you experienced.”

Varen chimed in, “I apologize personally to you. Sorry for failing to look after you. If only that time I did not go, if only that time I could fight them.”

Jenar looked up for a moment. He spoke in a soft tone, full of frustration, “You are not wrong, maybe I was too excessive.”

Varen was about to take Jenar's hand again, but the girl had already withdrawn. Making Varen aware of his impulsive misdeeds, “Sorry ...”

“It is actually natural that you have trauma, because the event was indeed very heartbreaking. The actions of these criminals are inexcusable,”, Danish said in a furious tone that was detained.

The girl ventured to look up, revealing what was in her heart in a soft voice, “Actually I was just afraid that one day I would meet those people. I really remember their faces. Especially if the parents blame me...."

She squeezed her fingers again, when fear came over. Heavy indeed, just by telling what feels alone able to make the feathers stand up. Do approach without excuse, agitated hit unavoidably.

Varen exhaled harshly while exclaiming, “Not making sense!”

Jenar frowned, giving a sharp look to Varen. Look at the man who was apologizing, now just underestimate his feelings.

Danish smiled slightly, a little relieved at finding the root of the problem that had happened to Jenar. He picked up a pack of cigarettes on the table, pulled out a stick, then flanked it between his index and middle fingers.

“If about that, you don't have to worry. Because until anytime you will never meet them.” said Danish trivial.

Jenar frowned, staring at Varen and Danish alternately. Lastly he turned to look at Hara who had been silent since, as if she was just a spectator.

Though the one who started all this is Hara, he who has told about the situation of Jenar to Varen and Danish. However, now he was the one who did not want to do anything to help the girl.

“They will not appear in front of you or anyone,” Danish said after lighting a cigarette. The man continued the sentence with a smile, “Because they are already in a prison that is impossible to touch humans.”

Wrinkles on the forehead of Jenar plus fold, “I mean brother Danish?”

Once again Danish smiled faintly after smoking her cigarette, “You think we'll just shut up, after one of our family members is treated biapaciously? The death penalty alone will not be enough to pay our heartache.”

Little by little Jenar could grasp Danish intent. Also after Varen said, “They have been tried by the court version of the Wijaya family. Yes, right, Brother?”

Danish nodded, then said in a joking tone to Jenar, “You want me to tell you what happened to them? Why until now their status is still a fugitive police?”

“Do not, Brother! Later Jenar can not sleep and do not want to eat,” seloroh Varen.

Jenar was still hesitant, even though Danish had told the truth. The girl was afraid that Danish and Varen would only want to cheer her up. However, from the look in the eyes of the two, Jenar did not find a lie.

"What are the victims' parents? They must have blamed me for not being able to prevent that from happening." Jenar wanted to make sure clearly.

"They're in shock, just like you. But now it can accept, that what happened is God's destiny." said Danish wisely.

Relief runs through the heart of Jenar, although not entirely unpleasant feelings disappear. At least he's had an answer to his unreasonable fear all along. A little sorry, why not tell Varen. Or ask about the fate of the criminals.

“So, Jen. You should now learn to forget, treat your phobia. Because now you already know what happened to them.” pinta Danish.

“What can, Brother?” Jenar was unsure.

“Where is Jenar I know? You, really, are you that pessimistic?” Varen intends to encourage Jenar, “When you used to be able to really not care about me, it should now also not care about the past, dong.”

Jenar chuckled, remembering her indifferent attitude towards Varen. In the past, no matter what the man did for her, she would not care.

“What was I like then, Brother?” jenar asked as if she could not believe that she had been so annoying to Varen.

“More than that, actually. I swear you're really cool, wonder how I can chase you continue, yes?” Varen shook his head.

Instantly the living room was boisterous by Danish laughter, while Hara just smiled knot. The two grown men can hardly believe that Jenar can make Varen beg for love with her.

“Sorry, yes, Brother. If I ever snebelin, end Kak Varen also ngeselin. There is no kapoknya deketin me, whereas I know I do not respond.” said Jenar who can already neutralize the feeling a little.

Now Varen is laughing. The frozen atmosphere was filled with novelty, instantly melting. The conversation that was originally heavy, now became light flowing.

Varen and Jenar spoke like two friends. Meanwhile, Hara and Danish talked about other issues. Occasionally they chimed each other, while enjoying a sweet snack, as sweet as a smile that expands on the face of a girl with brown skin with dimples on both cheeks.

If yesterday's encounter with Varen had opened up his old wounds, then their encounter today might have healed him. Although Jenar still harbors guilt for the victim's family, Danish wisdom can slightly reduce the burden of prejudice.

“Om and my aunt are sincere. It initially felt very heavy, even my om up to the coleps and had to be treated a few days in the hospital. After the incident, the aunt also rarely went out of the house. They were devastated, but absolutely no one blamed you, Jen.” Danish explained at length.

“So you don't have to feel guilty,” Danish closes his sentence with a smile. A sign that he is very sure of what is being said.

“Alhamdulillah then, I am relieved.” said Jenar honestly.

“means that if you are relieved, you can find a way to get your phobia cured, dong?” varen.

“Insyaalloh, I will try, Kak.” replied Jenar hesitated.

“Spirit, dong.” Excite Varen.

Jenar smiled again, no doubt the dimples on both cheeks were visible. Although he had lowered his head, but the sweet impression displayed on his face did not escape the sight of the three men around him.

Danish felt free from guilt, Varen could still feel the shakes in her heart when she saw that smile. Meanwhile, Hara, suddenly did not want to take her eyes off the sweet face that was getting down. For the first time, Hara felt that something was tickling her feelings, whether she didn't know.

***

As the day wore on, Varen and Danish had to leave. Because they have an important agenda that must be attended. Hara drove them, but before leaving she had a chance to talk to Jenar. When Jenar invited them to look at the collection of photos Aneesha in the gallery room.

“I have to apologize to you, or you will thank me?” ask Hara.

Jenar looked up, looking at the man standing next to her with a frown. Meanwhile, Hara looked at Jenar before the girl could ask a question.

“I told you about them,” Hara pointed with her chin towards Danish and Varen who stood a few steps ahead of them both, “I also brought them here. Now you know the fate of those criminals, right? You also know that the parents of the victim are sincere.”

Jenar laughed lightly, turning her face away from Hara. He replied with a soft but thin tone, “I think, I don't need to thank Mr. Hara.”

Hara looked at Jenar while saying trivially, “Actually I don't need a thank you from you. Because I just do what I want. If my wish is contrary to what you think, I think there is no need to apologize to you.”

Jenar smiled smirk. This guy next to her, really has no feelings. Though the purpose of the answer is for Hara to apologize, because it has been presumptuous to tell about the circumstances that were kept secret to others. However, what Hara said was precisely like wanting to show that what she did was very beneficial for Jenar.

“Try thinking again! I'm not sure if you don't want to thank me.” Hara said as she stepped up, approaching Danish and Varen.

Jenar shrieks, then smiles sideways while shaking her head. Mumbled grumbling, “What do you mean, anyway? She's wrong, why should I thank you? Strange whiteboard base.”

Jenar continued to grumble until the three men came out of the gallery, "How come Aneesha's sister and Reyfan still believe the same annoying person?"