Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

115. The Expression of Submerged Flavors

🌵If you choose to express pent-up feelings, then you must be ready with the consequences and risks that must be faced afterwards.🌵

The night grew late, the wind blew quietly, presenting a cold caressing body. Hara sits on a bench located under a rambutan tree, a favorite place if you are in a boarding school. From this place, he could see almost the entire boarding building. The large mosque, located just in front of the gate, became the welcoming building of everyone who came. The main house of the Kyai Ali family is located in the middle, then the meeting hall next to it. The three-story building, which is the dormitory santri putra, is seen extending in the north. The building of a small house that became the boundary between the dormitory building santri putra and daughter. The building is usually used to teach small children who live around pesantren. It is really a simple pesantren complex, but presents a religious nuance that calms the soul.

I don't know how long Hara has been sitting there, but there has been no desire to move on. He looked up while opening his mouth, moving his lips and tongue slowly to let out white smoke that was held in the larynx to form the letter O in the air. Many times he did the same, enjoying cigarettes to kill the restless.

The man wearing the white shirt picked up the phone, opened the screen and made a phone call. He waited for a while, but his call was not connected. He repeats dialing the same contact number, again disconnected. Instead of giving up, he repeated it again, but the voice of the automatic answering machine was precisely what was heard.

[Sorry, the phone number you are going to is off or out of reach.]

He snorted in annoyance, put the phone on the bench just like that, let the phone die by itself. The worry is present, sneaking in the heart, twisting. Causing the heart to be unsettled, plagued by restlessness.

‘It's almost 11 p.m., where's the kid?’ hara in the heart. He looked at the cell phone lying on the bench, then leaned back while smoking another cigarette.

“Not told you too?” Hara turned her head, when she heard the voice of the man behind her. He stood up, welcoming Gus Hafidz and Kyai Ali who were walking towards him. It seems that they have just finished their activities with the santri in the mosque.

“Who hasn't told you?” Kyai Ali asked his son.

“Who else if not the girl who is being thought of at all times by Hara, Bah.” replied Gus Hafidz, giving the code to his father.

“Lho, this afternoon said that today you will meet, Why do you have to wait for news from him, Hara?” kyai Ali asked.

Gus Hafidz invited his father to sit on the bench that had originally been occupied by Hara, and he sat down next to him.

“Meet, Bah. But they quarreled, so he was confused waiting for news from the idol.” not Hara who answered, but Gus Hafidz.

“Nothing has been quarrelling, how would you step into a more serious level then,” grumbled Kyai Ali. He patted the seat on his left, asking Hara to sit there.

Hara only smiled wryly in response to Kyai's words as her master.

“After all, than you can not sleep tonight because of his thoughts.” Gus Hafidz's proposal.

Hara shook her head, “It's not good to visit at night, maybe she's asleep.”

“You sure? What if he doesn't get home yet? If the reason does not give news is because something happened to him how?” Gus Hafidz deliberately provoked the worry of Hara.

Gus Hafidz's efforts were successful, as Hara turned her head quickly with a frown. Thin smile decorate the beautiful face of Kyai Ali's only son.

“If I were you, I'd already followed her. Because I had to make sure, the girl got home safely. Not only his body, but his soul and his heart. Of course I didn't want to, just because of a minor disagreement and he decided to go home with someone else, eventually his heart was tethered to the man. I will definitely be very sorry if it happens.” said Gus Hafidz launched a long satire with the intention of triggering emotional Hara.

“What are you talking about, to, Fidz? Abah did not understand.” by Kyai Ali.

“Well, Hafidz wants to ask. If we like someone, can we fight for it? As Hafidz did to Aina, is it sinful for Hafidz to ask for an arranged marriage because he has fallen for her?” actually the question was only to insinuate Hara who did not also move to fight for her love.

“Yes it is okay, fighting for love is innocent, as long as it is in a good way, does not violate religious and sacrilegious norms. Who is in love?” Kyai Ali asked seriously.

Gus Hafidz pointed at Hara with his chin before saying, “It's been very noticeable if he's liking a girl, but don't dare to say, let alone chase. Just given continued attention, will not know the girl if someone is falling for her? Later in the first others just know taste.”

Kyai Ali turned to the left side, seeing Hara just silently watching all the words of her son. The expressionless man did not say a word, but from the glare of his eyes and forehead that was wrinkled in describing if he was thinking.

“If it's worth fighting for, you have to move forward. But if you are still in doubt, you should not. Because that love needs the same confidence between you and him, not different.” Kyai Ali paused the sentence for a moment, Hara frowned. A conclusion is almost present in the mind, if only Kyai Ali did not quickly continue the sentence.

“To create love, must have the same confidence between two people. It's free if he's sure about you, uh, his you're not sure about him. Not in sync with his name.”

Hara's eyes widened, apparently he mistakenly guessed the purpose of Kyai Ali's speech about belief.

“Wait another? I think he's sure of you, huh. Nah! Stay you are actually sure of your love for him, or not?” Gus Hafidz asked frankly.

“Then doubtful hunt shot at each other is really him, bite your finger!” satir Gus Hafidz.

Hara digested the words of Kyai Ali and Gus Hafidz, a moment later she got up from sitting down.

“It looks like I have to go,” he said as he grabbed the phone. Then ask permission to Kyai Ali, “I borrow the motor can, Kyai?”

“Wear whichever you want.” says Gus Hafidz before his father replies.

Hara nodded, immediately stepping towards the pesantren vehicle storage. There wasn't much he thought about except to make sure Jenar was okay. This was the first time he had acted without careful consideration, but it was precisely in the will of his conscience.

...***...

It didn't take long for Hara to reach her destination. Night conditions with cloudy skies make the streets not too crowded. The gate of a large house located on the side of the road side by side with the rice fields tightly closed. Hara approached the turnstile, without turning off the motor. The roar of the motor and the lights that were panning caused the two guards to approach towards the door, before Hara could call them.

“Oalah Mas Hara, to?” exclaimed one of the guards who peeked out from the small gap found at the gate.

“Yes, Sir. It's me, can open the door?” hara Pinta.

“Nggih, Mas.” The guard then took the key to open the fence. Without waiting for long, the door opened.

“Where are these nights from, Mom? I think Jenar Mbak who came, it turned out to be sampeyan.” said the keeper when invited Hara brought in his bike.

The guards made Hara undo the intention to enter the yard. He asked the guard to confirm his hearing, “Indeed Jenar hasn't come home?”

The guard who opened the turnstile shook his head, “Sayumi Mbak Jenar said to come home late because there was an event, so I standby open the door if he goes home.”

Hara looked at her watch. A few minutes later it was midnight and Jenar wasn't home yet. According to estimates, the girl should have arrived home at least an hour ago. Where did Lion take him?

“Mbak Sayumi where?” tanya began to feel that something was wrong.

“Inside, Mas.” replied the guard.

Without further ado, Hara immediately parked the motor. He then went into the house to meet a housekeeper who should know the whereabouts of Jenar.

“So I've said the same Madam Jenar, can not get home more than ten o'clock at night. Even until now it has not been seen, where the call can no longer be. Siji kok marai ndase!” mak Sayumi's grumble, saying Jenar gave her a headache.

“From yesterday did not tell you he wanted to go home at what time, or where did it go?” hara Cecar.

“Tadi said back home late in the afternoon, going to the same cafe opening Ma'am Aina. He said he had permission from Mr. Fares and Mr. Riani, but until this hour he had not returned. How will I go home, who? At this hour the virgin is still outside the house, I'm so worried." Ma'am Sayumi displayed an anxious look on her face.

“Have you tried asking Aina yet? Goods time to stay at the kostnya?” Hara is still trying not to panic.

Ma'am Sayumi shook her head, “I don't have her number Ma'am Aina.”

Ma'am Sayumi's reply made Hara sigh heavily. He immediately took the phone from his pants pocket, contacted Gus Hafidz to ask for Aina's number. His feelings began to be chaotic, his mind began to guess. Especially after contacting Aina and it turns out that she was already at the boarding without Jenar.

“What time do they go from your hostel?” Hara pokes Aina with hunting questions, estimating what time Jenar should be home.

“Around ten, because they had a chat with the mother kost.” replied Aina.

Hara again let out a long sigh, after hanging up the phone. All sorts of thoughts whirled around in his mind, about what Jenar was doing, where the girl was going and all of them were making his veins heat up.

Just now he was thinking of finding out Lion's mobile number, the sound of the car engine roaring and stopping sounded faintly from the front of the house. Hara and Mbak Sayumi looked at each other for a moment, then compactly rushed around the main house, passing through the park to quickly get to the front yard.

His heart beat rapidly with hunting breath, blood had boiled, rising to the top of the crown. He clenched his hands until his knuckles looked white from restraining anger. When Hara saw Jenar get out of the green jeep car that stopped in front of the house with the engine still on. As forcefully as he managed to catch his breath, Jenar waved with a smile towards the car that was running backwards. The girl stood there, nodding lightly as Lion honked his horn, before taking his car out of the courtyard.

Hara took a deep breath before walking closer to Jenar who was still staring towards the jeep car away. The girl was not willing to let go of Lion.

“Neither asked nginep all him?” sindir Hara sarcas, once near Jenar.

Jenar turned her head, smiling weightlessly at Hara.

“Pak Hara why here night-night?” jenar asked lightly, not usually Hara was seen in the house this late at night.

“I have many reasons to be here anytime. Precisely what must be asked is why you just got home now, but left the cafe earlier than me? Gus Hafidz has finished leading do’a night for the santri, loh.” Hara cetus.

“Yes, Ms. Jenar worries me. I haven't had dinner yet because I was waiting for the boat, you know. Where the phone can not, habits!” Sayumi interrupted.

“Sorry Ma'am, I am running out of data packages, have not had time to buy.” Jenar replied with a smile, like not doing anything wrong.

“Yo wes, arep digodoke banyu ora?” She asks whether Jenar wants to be stirred water or not, the next time the girl wants to clean herself with warm water.

“Bby, if not inconvenient,” replied Jenar.

“Repot yo tetep done, wong wes gaweanku, really. Check out the pleasantries.” Ma'am Sayumi grumbled again. Despite the hassle, he will still carry out his master's orders, so Jenar does not need to make small talk.

Jenar laughed a little, looking at the behavior of Mbak Sayumi who grumbled while passing into the house. Her mainstay household assistant was, at least able to get angry at her. Although annoyed, it must still serve him well.

Jenar stepped over while fixing the strap of her bag, passing through Hara just like that. He really didn't feel he had to answer the man's question.

“From anywhere?” hara asked briefly while trying to hold back the emotions from overflowing.

“Tadi, right, we meet. Did you forget that I came to the cafe opening?” Jenar returned the question to Hara.

“The opening ceremony of the cafe has been completed since a few hours ago, I am sure you really went home first from me. So why did you just get home? Don't you tell anyone, you don't realize that you've made people worry?” hara Cecar.

Jenar turned his head, “I've said the same Ma'am Sayumi, it was also clear that my data package ran out. Who else is worried besides Ma'am Sayumi? Mr Hara is worried because I haven't come home yet? No way, right?”

Hara snorts. This girl before him was not only innocent, innocent and naive, but also insensitive.

“It would be wrong if I was worried about you?” Hara stared intently at the girl in front of her.

“True?” call Hara to let Jenar turn around.

“What have I done all this time to you, not enough to make you know about how I feel?” asked Hara in a low tone.

“Paution, protection, I give you what you need. Is it not enough to express what I feel for you?” Hara took two steps forward, just as Jenar turned around.

The girl looked at Hara while frowning, “Pak Hara said what?”

Hara took another step forward, until it was only a meter away with Jenar.

“Aren't you able to read my feelings all this time, after everything I've done for you? You think, why would I want to painstakingly bring you psychiatry? Why don't I like you being close to other men, especially Lion! Do you still not understand, Jen?” Hara continued to scout the girl before her by mentioning the facts of her attitude and attention all along.

“Can't you read my sincerity, Jen? You don't feel I have any intention behind it all?” Hara tilted her head, staring right at that brownish round eyeball.

Jenar digested well all of Hara's words, she covered her mouth with a palm when she could deduce the man's intent. The girl's clear eyes were heating up, with tear circles gathering on her crackers. He turned his face away, not daring to stare at the sharp glare that led to him.

“Why can't you feel me, Jenar? You don't know I su-” Hara can't continue her words, because Jenar shook her head quickly.

“Do not continue!” jolt of raucous Jenar, a drop of tear has fallen on her smooth cheek, “I beg you not to continue, Sir. Enough up to this alone, I don't want to know more.”

Hara took another step forward, but Jenar pulled away. They are more distant, far from each other's reach.

“Why, Jen? Am I wrong to fall for you?” hara's question made Jenar shake loudly. However, Hara continued her expression of feelings, “I like you. I'm in love with you, Rinjani!”

Jenar looked up, staring at the sharp look before her with tears in her eyes. Lightning lit up, splitting the increasingly dense night sky shrouded in cloudy. Thunder rumbles sounded loud, as the wind blew fiercely. Drop by drop of rain falls, after which more and more minutes of heavy.

Jenar covered her mouth with both palms. His heart was pounding, his crying could no longer be contained. Falling down soaked his face, along with rain water flushed his body. Cold feels like rainwater is entering the pores, making Jenar not strong enough to support his own body. He fell down, crouching down without being able to stop the crying.

Hara crouched down, looking at the crying girl in front of her. Everything raged in the heart, but there was one relief from having managed to express his feelings.

“I really love you, Jen. Tell me that I do not need to apologize, for having this feeling.” Hara's voice vibrates.

“Shouldn't have said it, I told you I didn't want to hear, right?” jenar said softly, almost inaudible because it collided with the rumbling sound of heavy rain.

“Why? Because you already have someone else?” tanya Hara looked down looking for Jenar's face that sank between her knees.

Jenar shook her head, “We must not have this feeling, I know for myself who we are.”

“I do not feel guilty, because this feeling is sincere only for you.” Hara convinced Jenar.

“Can't, Sir. Still can not.” the voice of Jenar more raucous among sobs. His cry grew louder, his body shivering as the rain increasingly pouring down his body.

"Is it because I don't deserve you, Jen?"

FurthermoreHara could only silently stare at the sobbing girl before him. Both are equally indifferent to the body wrapped in wet clothes by the swift rain. Their feelings are raging, between despair, love and hope. How can the taste that should not be present, has actually thrived in the heart of each without realizing it.

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Seriate.

Wow, finally the sentence was triggered also😁. Accepted yes, Hara's feelings to Jenar?