Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

93. Reason to Meet

...🌵Nobody can resist the feeling, if love has grown in the heart of his permission.🌵...

Hara

I saw Jenar stomping her legs, puffing her cheeks while folding her hands on her chest. Highlight his sharp eyes, as if about to hit, pierced through the windshield of a car.

“Pak Hara ngeselin, huh? I, right, told you not to pick up!” jenar exclaimed in an annoyed tone, as soon as I stopped the car and opened the windowpanes in front of her.

“Quick in, want to rain!” Regardless of Jenar's protest, I pointed at the black sky.

Jenar took off the folds of her hand while breathing out in annoyance. He also obeyed my orders to get into the car immediately. The road traffic in front of the campus - where Jenar was studying - was so dense, that I had to be very careful about driving.

“Aina is home?” I took the initiative to start a conversation, when free from the complexity of the road. Now I can drive casually because the road is passed quite smoothly even though it is still crowded. Jenar did not answer, must have been holding back anger from waiting for a long time.

I was talking about the company matter with Naura at the branch office, some time ago. The weather was bad, making me suddenly remember the girl who was afraid of the dark, rain and lightning.

Impulsively, I called Jenar. I just want to know where it is and what it is. He said he had just finished college, was going home. Worries perch in the mind, imagining him alone on a long journey in the midst of bad weather. What if the trauma recurs on the bus, who will help?

Although he refused, but I still force to pick him up. The distance from the branch office to the Jenar campus is not too far away, but the traffic conditions, it is not possible to quickly arrive. So he had to wait a long time.

“Where are we going first, nih?” I asked, because Jenar had reasoned to stop by somewhere so I could let her go home by herself.

Jenar replied ketus, “Rome.”

“Lho! He said he wanted to stop by first,” I reminded him of the reason given when calling earlier.

“Ngak so.” Reply Genar briefly.

“Why not be? Because it's cloudy, huh? Ride this car, will not be rained if you want to stop by.” I tried to persuade, so that he stopped sulking.

Jenar let out a rough breath while turning her face away, seemingly reluctant to respond to my question. Maybe I was tired of taking classes, plus I had to wait a long time, changing the mood to be as bad as the weather today.

Nor did I force, letting Jenar sink into her own thoughts. Choosing to focus on the highway, because driving in cloudy weather, requires high concentration. Many drivers scramble to get to the destination before it rains.

The sky of Yogyakarta city is getting thick. Just wait for time until the black clouds can no longer hold water vapor and spill its contents onto the earth. The wind blew fiercely, striking the dry leaves that flew everywhere. The sound of the honky horn, the boisterous traffic coloring the streets.

I glanced to the left side, looking as if Jenar's head was limp facing the window. This girl is indeed strange, can sleep anytime and anywhere. Especially if you are angry, the impingement is by sleeping.

I had to pull over the car, stop on the shoulders of the road that was not too crowded to see the position of the seat of the Jenar who looked uncomfortable and without wearing a safety belt.

Without turning off the engine, I removed my seatbelt. Then leaning to the left, while sticking out a hand to pull the seatbealt near the head of Jenar. I carefully fitted her safety belt.

My hand stopped, when I was about to set the seat backrest lever. My sense of smell caught the fragrant smell of flowers. I closed my eyes, momentarily wanting to enjoy that gentle and soothing fragrance.

The sound of breathing from Jenar's nose made me open my eyes. Apparently the girl changed position by still sleeping in dreamland. From this close distance, I could easily look him in the face. Mature brown skin, oval face shape with pliable eyelashes. The eyebrows are thick, forming a perfectly beautiful, original without being painted. Plum lips look like xy even without lipstick polish.

I was glued, observing every inch of the girl's face. Jenar isn't pretty, but I can't deny that she has something interesting. I took my hands off the backrest-setting lever, tempted to touch that plain face. However, the loud sound of the truck horn managed to thwart my intentions.

I immediately regained consciousness, quickly distancing myself from Jenar. I had to draw and exhale many times, to neutralize the uncontrolled heartbeat. Not enough to get there, I also have to wipe the rough face to dampen the curiosity that appears without permission.

‘Gosh! What the hell just happened? Like not just me.’

I took a bottle of drinking water that was always available, immediately downed the contents until the toilet. I just reinstated the car, after being able to control myself and emotions. I cursed myself, who was almost provoked by desire just because it smelled a fragrant smell that was not even stinging at all.

The drizzling points started to drop one by one against the car glass. The streets were more rowdy, for a moment then the rain began to pour. As much as I could, I had to distract myself from the soft fragrance that almost drove me crazy. Intentionally I increased the volume of car audio, so as not to be affected by Jenar who was sleeping soundly. Luckily I was still able to maintain sanity, so it was not to deflect the car into the nearest hotel.

All the way from Yogya to Magelang which is very heavy I went through at this time. Not only because of heavy rain and slippery roads, but the brain that always wants to travel without permission, triggers a desire that has long not arisen want.

***

Stringing

I closed my ears, while breathing as dr. Tiara's. Take in air deep until the stomach deflates, feeling the flow of oxygen into the lungs. Then exhale slowly until the stomach bloats again. I repeatedly inflated my stomach, to loosen the tightness in my chest. As powerful as I try to eliminate the bad thoughts that arise about the past, while incessantly muttering dhikr.

The rain stopped, after flushing the earth all afternoon, but lightning and thundering still occasionally sounded. I asked to be accompanied by Ma'am Sayumi in the room, out of fear. The sound of azan reverberating, talking to each other was heard from the loudspeakers of mosques and musolas in all directions. I closed my eyes, answering the call of worship with all my heart.

“Nduk, Sister Jen!” Ma'am Sayumi called.

I took my hand off my ear and looked over. Ma'am Sayumi looks up “I wudlu dhisek, yo! Wes magrib.” (I take the wudlu first, yes! It is time for the magrib prayer.)

I nodded weakly, “Don't be long, yes, Ma'am. Salad is here only, jama’ah same me.”

“Iyo! Mbak Jen urung (not yet) canceled?” I shook my head to answer Sayumi's question.

After the death of Ms. Sayumi, I again tried to calm myself by doing breathing techniques taught by dr. Tiara's. I need to be able to control my own thoughts, to minimize the relapsing effects of the trauma. Dr. Tiara said, trauma sufferers like me will not be able to heal, if the mind is still struggling in the past.

“First, you must force your self! Love yourself, stop thinking about the past and people who don't even exist in this world. Appreciate the opportunity of life that God gives, do not waste time just to lament the past. Because the past will never come back. Leave all the events that have passed, change the future by utilizing today.” That is what dr. Tiara at our meeting last week.

He's correct. As bad as anything that has happened in the past, it is impossible to change. For too long I have blamed myself for an event that took place not of my will. Now I must accept the past as a whip to improve myself for the future.

As usual I filled the time after the magrib prayer by teaching. Sister Sayumi did the same thing, the woman was very loyal to accompany me. He seems to have memorized if I'm afraid of lightning. After performing the prayer isya’ new me and Ma'am Sayumi out of the room.

“Mbak Jen want to eat what?” as usual, Mama Sayumi always asked me about the meal menu.

“Mbak Say cook what?” instead of answering, I asked back while closing the door.

“Cock sambel eggplant ro tempe fried.” Ma'am Sayumi called the same menu as breakfast and lunch.

“Ehm ...,” I thought for a moment. No appetite without changing the menu.

“Maem njobo wae po?” Ma'am Sayumi guessed I wanted to eat out. Mainstay if I don't like Ma'am Sayumi's cooking.

I shook my head, lazy out at night. Besides, the streets must be muddy after being rained all day. I smiled when I came across an idea for a proper dinner menu.

“Bihun godog looks good, Ma'am.” suggests.

Ma'am Sayumi brandished the thumb sign agreed, “Hun raw he should buy first, do not have supplies because.”

“Please buy, yes, Ma'am. Later Jenar who cooks himself, deh.” I'm pinching Ma'am Sayumi's arm to seduce.

Ma'am Sayumi didn't answer, but I knew he couldn't possibly refuse. We then walked to the kitchen. I was shocked when I went through the dining room. There is an unusual sight to be seen there.

Mr. Hara was busy in front of the laptop with the screen open. On the table were scattered papers, and there were piles of books and maps. Since when was the man there and working on what? Tumben. Regretting I've hardened my voice earlier, I hope he doesn't notice.

“Mbak Say!” I pulled Mba Sayumi's arm to stop and whispered, “Pak Hara has not come home from earlier?”

Ma'am Sayumi nodded in answer to my question in a whisper too, “Tadi already wants to go home, but there is a phone. Looks like from Mas Reyfan, keep him so busy so.”

We continue our steps, passing Mr. Hara. I checked the contents of the refrigerator, looking for ingredients to cook. If there is less, let all of you ask for help Ma'am Sayumi bought it.

“Pickly buy chives, yes, Ma'am!”

“OK!”

After Ma'am Sayumi left, I immediately prepared the raw materials for cooking. From the kitchen that is not adjacent to the dining room, I can clearly see the activity of Mr. Hara. The man drowned in the busyness, until no matter the circumstances around.

The sound of the printer machine, then Mr. Hara moved from sitting down. He walked a few steps, approached the machine located near the television, waiting there for a while. I saw him take the printed paper out, glanced at it, then bring it to the dinner table. It looks like it is matching the writing on the paper with the one on the laptop screen.

Mr. Hara often irritates me, acting without consent. However, seeing her busy like that, I felt pity. He must be tired of working from morning to night, still had time to drive and pick me up college. If other people work in accordance with the rules of working hours that apply, but Mr. Hara does not. He works overtime, anytime, anywhere, as per the employer's orders.

I decided to make a drink for him. However, Mr. Hara has helped me a lot, a cup of coffee to accompany his busy life, maybe in return. There are a few pieces of steamed brownie as well, can be a pair of light dishes.

“Coffee, Mr Hara?” I put a cup of coffee and a plate of steamed brownies near Mr. Hara.

“Ya, thank you.” said Mr. Hara without distracting from the busyness.

I pulled out a chair to sit opposite Mr. Hara. Clearly visible crumpled face with a deeply furrowed forehead, depicting fatigue. That afternoon, I was angry with him for having to wait a long time after college. I should have gone home by myself, riding the bus as usual. However, he forced a pick-up, not heeding my protest.

I silenced him earlier, choosing to sleep throughout the journey. Tired and upset, making me reluctant to talk. Even when I got home I didn't care. So, I was really surprised to see him still working tonight.

“Report,” replied Mr. Hara very briefly, a sign that he did not want to be disturbed.

I picked up a tray that was carrying the coffee, about to move. Better to start cooking, than bothering Mr. Hara.

“True?” Mr. Hara called, as I turned around.

“Are you ok?” I frowned, not understanding the question. Mr. Hara took off his glasses before continuing the question, “From yesterday you did not leave the room, I think you why-napa.”

I sat back and replied, “Thank you for worrying about me. Alhamdulillah .. I am fine.”

Mr. Hara smiled, “Thank God then.”

Seeing the arch on Mr. Hara's lips, I smiled. It turns out that if you are smiling and without glasses, Mr. Hara does not look old.

“Pak Hara did not go home, because I was worried?” my guess. I don't know where this confidence just comes from.

“Ge er you! I am still here because of work. There are no laptops and printers at his house Mbak Nabila, so I have to work here.” explained Mr. Hara while taking his glasses. Suddenly I didn't want him to wear that looker again, didn't want his face to look old.

“Pak Hara!” I called him, before he came back busy with paper and laptops.

“Heem,” Pak Hara looked at me.

“Pak Hara can't, yes, if you don't use glasses?” I ventured to ask.

“Can, when sleeping.”

I laughed at that answer. There's always a weird answer to talking to Mr. Hara. It's appropriate that I call it a whiteboard, flat and stiff.

“Why laugh?” apparently Mr. Hara did not realize that the answer was strange.

I moved my hand, trying to stop the laughter. Mr. Hara shook his head, for a moment then picked up the pen and paper. It was predictable that he had no sense of humor at all.

“You didn't learn? No college assignments?” ask Mr. Hara, maybe because I don't want to bother him.

“It's Sunday night, sir. Time to relax from all college assignments, because tomorrow is off.” I replied, “Pak Hara himself why is this week night still working? Said Mr Hara was on sabbatical from his company Kak Neesha, kok, busy?”

“I am also clear that you will not understand,” ketus Pak Hara.

I scratched my head covered in a veil. Of course I don't understand what Mr. Hara is doing, because our world is different. Maybe even Brother Neesha also does not really understand the office work as Mr. Hara is doing.

“Eh, Mr Hara has eaten yet?” I asked again, as if unwilling to let Mr. Hara busy himself.

Mr. Hara shook his head, even though I could already guess the answer.

“I want to cook bihun godog, Mr Hara would like not?”

“What are you able to cook?” Mr. Hara is suspicious of my abilities.

“Can, dong. During my time here, I cooked more often than Ma'am Sayumi. Later Mr. Hara just feel the results of my cooking, must be delicious.” When it comes to cooking, I am very confident. Cooking is one of my main skills.

“Heem.” Pak Hara simply replied with a mutter.

He stopped the activity before I could move. The frown on his forehead signaled if there was anything he was about to talk about.

“Jen!”

“Ya.”

“From the beginning of the week tomorrow, I will be very busy, because the branch office is in trouble with the vendor. I'll drop you off earlier than usual, and pick you up on campus maybe later. Don't go home before I come.”

I pursed my lips to hear his explanation. This is why Mr Hara bothers so much? If he's busy, there's no need to drop me off and pick me up either time.

“Schedule your counselling stay on Monday, but night. I've made an appointment with your therapist.”

“Ehm ...,” hesitates I choose words to protest.

“If Mr. Hara is busy, I can go alone to the campus, also to the clinic. You do not need to bother going back and forth to my shuttle.” I carefully express my opinion.

“I don't accept rejection, Jenar! Follow the schedule I have made, or-” Mr. Hara hangs a sentence, making me curious.

“Or what, Sir?”

“Or I tell you about your trauma to Aneesha, if you don't want to recite what I said.”

I shook my head to hear Mr. Hara's threat. This arrogant man also turned out, the handyman imposing his will on others.

“Pak Hara is threatening me?” manya.

“Yes. Because I can't see you going alone, let alone taking the bus. What if there are bad people? Dicopet for example, or something brazen with you? Until you relapse on the road, how? Who will help?”

The long words said by Mr. Hara, unyielding made me hold back a smile. I feel cared for, protected and loved. It made my face feel hot, and my heart was racing.

“Why smile? You think my words are funny?” ketus Pak Hara's.

I shook my head, then looked down. Ingi hides a face that may have changed color to red. As much as I can, I try to neutralize feelings. Dare to look up to look into his eyes. The next thing I regret, because I actually feel short of breath looking at my gaze.

“Pak Hara is why? Until my same attention, lest Mr. Hara like me.” I say softly, while holding back embarrassment.

“What? Too confident of you! Who likes you? I just don't want anything to happen, if you go alone.” said Mr. Hara, but I read the sentence like someone who was jealous.

“Prestigious confess, yes, sir? Though the words of the father like a person who is jealous.”

“What? Of jealousy? You think I'm jealous of you? Don't you like me?"

“Ih! Who's on the table, sir? People already seen from the attitude of the father, kok.” I glanced at him, “Bapak likes me, yes?”

“Ngak!” Mr. Hara balked, “I can't possibly like the same little boy as you.”

“Tuh, right, prestige.” I lowered my head again, embarrassed for being too confident.

“Do not misunderstand, I just .. care just the same you. Because you are careless, weak and bo doh.”

I should be angry to hear the phrase swear, but the heart just wants to tempt Mr. Hara. I glanced at it once again, “Care because I like it, right?”

“Ngak!” jikak Pak Hara firmly.

Regardless of the vague murmur, I moved. Stepping away left the dining table and Mr. Hara behind. Along with that, the door of the house was opened from the outside. Sayumi's mother came in with a medium-sized bag of crackles. I turned my head, reading Mr. Hara's body gestures that were like being misbehaved. Mr. Hara .. Mr. Hara, I have great prestige when I am jealous.

Uh! Why am I this confident, huh? Maybe Mr. Hara is not jealous, it could be just a concern, right? Is there always a reason to pay attention to someone? If not for love, why care? Isn't care, the sign is dear?

So ashamed of myself imagining all my trumpets ....

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Connect ....

Kebayanga not Hara's face discakmat the same little boy like Jenar? uh, little boy from nowhere, guys are already college students too😁. Kira2 no one suspects, the same with the two of them? Ma'am Say, Irkham, or pakdhe Teguh?

Aneesha, how about knowing her sister is being judged by Hara, huh? 😁 wait for continuation ya😍