Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

22. Kindness Replies.

...🌸Sometimes something trivial for us, it is worth it for others.🌸...

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I don't know for sure why my body responds to fear excessively. I also did not know clearly why I could not forget this fear of mine, only it developed into an acute phobia.

The worst thing I experienced was when I got close to Mr. Hara yesterday. Those shadows came to mind, forcing me to be thrown into the past despite all my might holding it back. My body reacted so badly that I couldn't remember anything. I collapsed and fainted.

For the first time I fainted because my phobia was relapsing. Usually I just feel like a racing heartbeat and irregular breathing. But yesterday, my body's reaction was too overwhelming. Makes everyone worry about my situation.

I thought that after coming out of a fainting state, nothing had changed with my body condition. As it turned out no, my body became weak, the drowsiness of attacking could not be prevented. Looks like my whole body's showing up for rest.

Mother woke me up because the dawn was almost gone while I was not awake. I would wake up just for dawn prayers and then go to sleep again. It felt like my whole body had gone on a long journey. Weak, tired, lethargic tend to be lazy and sleepy.

I woke up again when the sun was rising. The wrenching creaking sound that came from the friction of the bamboo stems disturbed my sleep. Sunlight entered through the wide open window of the room, hitting my body wrapped in a thick blanket.

I squirm, still reluctant to move. I saw the weaker clock on the nightstand showing at 10:15. That means I've been sleeping long enough since I finished the morning prayer. Unusually, what is with my body? Why am I so lazy to wake up.

I picked up the phone, removed the charge cable and turned it on. I wait until the phone is ready to use, while I pull the blanket to cover my body up to the chest. Outside the sun was already bright and hot, but I still felt the cold and humid air inside the room.

There was a sound notification of incoming messages in a row, deserved because I turned off the phone since yesterday. I ignored the group chat that had reached hundreds, Kuscrol down the list of incoming messages to find out who sent me messages.

One contact name made both corners of my lips pulled upwards. I opened a short message sent by Ghufron. He's been sending me a few chats since yesterday and I haven't read them all. Also 18 successful missed calls made my heart break.

I was just about to reply to Ghufron's message, but the owner of the number called first. I hurried to get up, because he must have been waiting for my reply since yesterday afternoon.

“Assalamu’alaikum ..”

“Wa’alaikum greetings ..”

“Yes, Alloh, Nduk. Where the hell, anyway? From yesterday no chat bales, call can not. Just worry about.”

“Ngapunten (sorry), Mas. I slept early last night. Forgot not to worry hp.”

“Mas find you on campus, you know. Not going in today? Still in Magelang, yes?”

“White, Mas. Your father is still here, it looks like I'm here for the next few days. What's up, To, Mas? How, run me?”

“Haadeeh. Do you ask, to, Nduk? Yes, obviously this mas misses you. Want to know your face after yesterday officially become his future wife Ghufron al-ghazali.”

I smile. I covered my face with a blanket, but I knew Ghufron couldn't possibly see my red face.

“Change video call, yes, Nduk? Can, right?”

I nodded, though I knew Ghufron couldn't see what I was doing. With a quick movement I got out of bed, picked up the headscarf hanging on the wall. As fast as lightning also put it on before answering a video call from my future husband. Uh! Just by calling it that, my face felt hot.

“Lho? Still in the room, to? Don't tell me you just woke up!” Ghufron's first voice as his face appeared on the phone screen.

I nodded, hiding a part of my face under the blanket. Shame to see Ghufron laughing at me.

“Ya Alloh, I have a lazy wife candidate apparently.”

I opened the blanket, sighed annoyed at being said lazy, “Eh! I'm not a slacker, Mas. It was awake, morning prayer, but sleeping again.”

“Ha ha ha. Jenar .. Jenar. Uh! Waitaminute! You look like a prune? Wh why? Sick, huh? Not feeling well?”

“Iya, Mas. Maybe yesterday forgot his body was not given salt, so not delicious.”

Mas Ghufron was wide-eyed while shaking his head, “mancing, here!”

I took off a smile, wanting to tell Ghufron that I was okay.

“Mas where else? What again? Same who?”

“Wah! You're starting to get possessive apparently. Which one to answer, huh?”

“Everything, dong.”

“Your base! I'm in the cafeteria, again. Same temen-temen, again chat while the stomach.” Ghufron deliberately moved the camera phone so that his friends could see me.

“Wah! The one yesterday's fiancee, now skipping college. Taste, Non?” Friends of Ghufron.

“Fear of being poked by a kali delivery cake, which is why he truant. Ha ha ha.” there are also those who just wave their hands towards the phone. Makes me smile embarrassed.

“Truly tired looks like you, huh? Yesterday's own show or what, Nduk? Until it looks like shoots so.”

“It's not because of yesterday's event, Mas. But-” I choked it was hard to say what happened to me yesterday.

“Let me guess, you .. relapse?” Ghufron's voice swallowed as his eyes moved to the right and left. He didn't want his friends to know what we were talking about.

I nodded without answering and he already understood what the nod of my head meant. His shoulders were falling like he was regretting something. Maybe because only he knows what I'm going through, but Ghufron can't help.

“When we should talk about this, Nduk. I can't bear to see you tormented like that.”

“Let's go, yeah, Mas. If the mas thesis is finished, much more important than that, Mas.”

“Nduk! Do not be too long postponed, mas afraid of getting worse.”

I smiled in silence. Ghufron could understand me the most. He always worried about me more than my own parents. If I told you yesterday I fainted, he might have darted straight here. I better not tell you, I don't want to bother Ghufron is very busy with thesis and campus activities.

In the morning we talked for a long time. Through a video call Ghufron made my spirit back. I, who had been reluctant since morning to get out of bed, after finishing exchanging ideas with him, wanted to take a shower and leave the room.

“Don't forget dhuha prayers, yes!” As soon as Ghufron messages before closing the video call.

Day went by, as I finished my bath and dhuha prayers. I just realized the state of a quiet house like uninhabited. Ms. Sayumi who is usually busy in the kitchen or in the laundry was not found.

I came out of the open back door. Feeling the wind blowing in my face, waving the tip of the instant hijab I was wearing. Hot sun feels pierced into the skin pores. It chilled in my body, replacing warmly with my blood.

I walked down the path between the fish pond and the garden. Passing through the small gazebo, bamboo groves and pendopo, straight towards the gazebo located in the middle of a large fish pond.

I entered the gazebo while saying greetings so that my brother who was concentrating on reading the book was not surprised. Putting my head on her comfortable lap, I kissed my sister's slightly swollen belly.

“Assalamu’alaikum ponakan utun? Healthy, yes, you're there.”

“Wa’alaikum salam aunt utun idler.” Neesha's voice was made like a child, she replied without taking her eyes off the book she was reading, “virgin children at this hour just woke up. Lose the chicken, huh! This hour has got a lot of food.”

“So I forgot, if I need to sleep 14 hours a day?”

“Basic slackers!”

“People where, Brother! Very quiet, this, home. Almost like a grave.”

“The same father Reyfan is going to Temanggung, a tobacco survey that is ready for harvest. If the mother since morning to the house mbah uti want to chat four-monthly event tomorrow. Ma'am sayumi is going to the market, brother told me to buy cethil, really want.”

Cethil\=cenil's chat. Credit photo by. private collection.

“Silent brother here from earlier? So four months here, sister?” Brother Aneesha nodded.

He reached out, picked up something from the table next to the laptop that was on, “ada tidakan from Hara, nih!”

I received a plastic bag with the logo of the most famous Muslim clothing brand in the country. I peeked at the contents while waking up from the most comfortable lap of my sister, “what is this?”

“So sister knows. Gifts from Hara kali.”

“Tumben pak Hara give me a gift, do I have a birthday?”

“Hara time its birthday.”

“Ih! Strange sister, where there's a birthday present. Usually also the person whose birthday is a gift.”

“That, right, regular guy, Deck. You know yourself Hara is not an ordinary person, but amazing.”

We both laughed. Aneesha mocked her husband's most competent assistant. If there is no Mr. Hara somehow the fate of their company that is often left behind.

I took the stuff out of the plastic, opened it, “Wah! Hijab, Brother. Mr Hara why give me hijab, huh?”

“Ndon't know! Ask yourself!”

I took Aneesha's cell phone lying on the table. Without asking permission, I searched Mr. Hara's contact number there.

“What do you want, Dek?” Asked Brother Aneesha to realize that I borrowed the phone.

“Call Mr. Hara, say thanks.” Right then I heard a connecting tone but it wasn't lifted.

“Freely call, he's mengyetirin father same brother Reyfan. Don't disturb!”

I decided to send him a short message. I know Mr. Hara's good intentions were to change my hijab I was wearing to cover his wound yesterday.

[Pak Hara, thank you for the gift. This is to change the hijab yesterday that I used to cover Pak Hara's wounds, right? It is not replaced by pa-pa.]

[It was replaced by a very expensive one.]

[Betewe thank you very much, may Allah repay Pak Hara's kindness with kindness too. Aamiin.]

[Yes.]

No matter what is answered or not. I put Aneesha's phone back on after touching the 'sent' button'.

I returned to my original position, laying my head on Aneesha's lap.

Earlier this morning my mother said that my mother could not clean the blood stains on my peach color hijab. I don't mind, it's just a regular hijab, nothing special. Cannot be cleaned, yes, already. Just wear a lap. But Mr. Hara instead gave me a new hijab to change my hijab. So I should thank him, right?

“Pak Hara is very good, anyway, Sister. The unwashable Jilbab is replaced with a new one, loh. It is so buy famous brand, ten times the price of my old hijab.”

“What is the price of your old hijab? Buy where?”

“Buy in Bringharjo, quadrilateral hijab rawis jumbo. One hundred thousand dapet three.”

Aneesha laughed until her shoulders were shaken. I automatically laugh too. How not? Because we know that the hijab presented by Pak Hara for me is a famous branded hijab. Ten times as much as my hijab.

Maybe Mr. Hara thinks the items I wear are branded goods. Though almost everything I wear is fashion style from traditional markets throughout Magelang-Jogja. The price is certainly nyungsep, the price of the common people.

This gift hijab from Pak Hara became the first expensive and branded hijab I had. If asked to choose mending I choose to buy a standard price hijab, so the rest can buy cethil and onion nuts my favorite. Sometimes what is trivial to us is valuable to others.

Aneesha and I stopped laughing, enjoying the wayang kulit performance from the laptop screen. Our favorite puppeteer is both playing the play Antasena Rabi. Stories full of meaning decorated with jokes that made us drown enjoying the groove played.

Not long after, a car entered the open gate. The green jeep is very familiar to us, because only certain people come through the rear fence. That person is certainly very familiar with us. Uh! Soon I will have to face something complicated.

“It looks like there will be a commotion, nih!” Aneesha's words were at the same time as I was gradually moving from my brother's lap.

“Kakak!” I held the arm of Aneesha's brother who was about to move, “ here only, don't go!”

Suddenly I felt that I was in the position of Dewi Jenakawati which was contested by Antasena and Lesmana. Jenakawati is betrothed by two princes from two kingdoms. War between the two kingdoms was inevitable.

I’a in my heart may my story is not like Dewi jenakawati, there should be no war between two families. Along the long stride of a man who just got off the jeep. Closer to us with a hostile face.

Seeing the flash of anger from his body gesture while walking, made me prepare myself for whatever would happen....

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