Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah
68. 2. Meeting Opens Wounds
“It's good we order food, huh? The rain is very sloping, it looks like it will be long over. There's no way you're going home in this weather, danger. Wait until the rain subsides while eating, suitable, right?” seloroh Danish melted the mood of his sister who almost went cloudy like the sky that afternoon, only because of the attitude of Jenar.
“What do you eat, Ren?” tanya Danish started to open the book.
“Anything?” Varen asked back, looking at the menu book that her brother brought.
Danish put the menu book on the table, so that everyone could see it. Jenar had a glance for a moment, the picture listed in the menu list was quite interesting and appetizing. He had not had lunch, but it was late afternoon, it was natural that the stomach was empty and had asked to be filled. However, it was not good if he ordered first, while the others had not.
“What message are you?” Danish glanced at Hara.
The person asked did not answer and instead took out a cigarette from the packaging. He pinched the cigarette with his lips while answering before lighting it with a match, “You first.”
“What do you want to eat?” Danish instead asked Jenar who was taking off her jacket.
While wiping his own arm Jenar answered softly with a condolence, “I am not hungry, Kak.”
He was not not hungry, just feeling disrespectful to order first. It has become the basic nature of women, it is difficult to be frank, it puts forward prestige and feeling bad.
“It's past lunchtime, when you're not hungry? Did you eat before you got here?” Varen looked at Hara in disbelief at Jenar's words. If the assumption is correct, Jenar must only feel bad choosing the food menu first. Hara who was stared at shook her head while hissing held the cigarette smoke in her throat.
“Sini, Brother! I'll just order.” Varen reached out, asked for a menu book on his brother while grumbling, “Wait for rain water until it turns into tap water and also Jenar will not want to message himself. You stubborn! You will not be full if you just eat the taste of sungkan.”
"Varen, stop!" Danish rebuked his sister. Prevent Varen's mouth from breaking like a starving male duck.
He gave the menu book to his sister with a rebuking look. Danish understands that Varen is the one who understands Jenar the most because they are both near school time. However, he disagreed with Varen's attitude which spoke in a grumbling tone. Jenar's worry is offended by Varen's speech or attitude.
"I'm sorry my sister, yes, Jen. He did not get a courtesy education." said Danish, apologizing sincerely.
Jenar only responded with a thin smile, whereas Varen did not care. Hara did not say anything, although she also did not like Varen's pretentious attitude.
Varen had finished ordering food for Jenar, while Danish and Hara chose their own menu. The rain outside was very heavy, rumbling sounds were still heard with increasing intensity. Accompanied by lightning strikes, making the atmosphere inside the restaurant gripping. The audio of the room is turned off, so as not to add noise.
Danish is busy with her phone, Hara enjoys cigarettes, while Varen tries to invite Jenar to chat. The four of them sat around the same table, but with their respective activities.
A flash of lightning struck out like a camera flash, followed by a loud thunderous sound, making everyone alert. Some held the chest, jerked, involuntarily shouted, to the point of holding the chest in surprise. Like Jenar who spontaneously closed her ears while muttering istighfar.
Varen smiled seeing Jenar surprised. He remembered when they were in school, when every day his main purpose for going to school was to see the sweet face of the girl dimpled on both cheeks. The day feels less if you have not met Jenar. Although the girl always dodged, but Varen did not get discouraged from approaching. Until an event makes him have to ditch hope to be able to establish a serious relationship with Jenar.
After an argument with Aneesha at her father's restaurant, Varen realizes that the two are not meant to be a match. If Jenar reciprocates his feelings, they are difficult to unite, because as the successor of the family business, a soul mate has been determined by his parents.
“You remember when we were in school? You are most happy if it rains during sports lesson hours, because there is no practice in the field. I used to feel like you were weird. Most school children are most excited about sports lessons, but you are even the most lazy.” Varen story at length, regardless of the existence of Hara and Danish among them. He seemed to want to reminisce about the past with Jenar.
Jenar looked up for a moment, forced a thin smile then looked back down. The girl half-heartedly listened to Varen's story. His hands were squeezing each other in the lap, be alert if the lightning struck too hard he would cover the ears.
"Maybe Jenar doesn't like her teachers so doesn't like sports lessons, huh, Jen?" Danish tries to respond to her sister's story. Again Jenar only smiled at a glance.
"No, Brother. Not because he does not like his teacher, but Jenar does not like sports lessons because it makes you tired. He prefers brain-boosting lessons, sitting still and thinking. Yeah, right, Jen?" clearly Varen tilted his head in search of Jenar's solemn face in the bow.
A flash of lightning came back, this time striking very hard. Like there was an iron drum that was accidentally thrown right on the roof. Everyone was shocked, then a commotion broke out when suddenly the entire room went dark because all the lights went out. Luckily there was a glimmer of light, coming from an emergency lamp that was installed in the corner of the room near the cashier. At the very least, the room was not completely pitch-black.
In the dimness, Jenar tried to dispel anxiety. It is undeniable that Varen's story made his past called upon. Power outages, heavy rain, thunderous rumbling and lightning striking, chime perfectly wake up old memories. Memory about invisible wound scratches that until now still feels painful.
The gadit closes its ears, when the flash of lightning comes again for the umpteenth time. A loud thunderous sound as if breaking the ears, made him involuntarily scream.
"Quiet down! If the power goes out like this, it's safe." Varen tries to calm Jenar down. He didn't know that Jenar was yelling not because the electricity was off, but there was another reason.
The heart of Jenar beats fast, adrenaline rushes until it feels jerking in the chest. It was as if he saw a black shadow approaching in the darkness. A cruel grin, a hollow gaze full of pain, and the sound of laughter echoed, flashed in the brain. It's like a dejavu. It was as if he was in a terrible place with the exact same atmosphere as this moment. Seeing the flowing, deep red liquid stained the light brown uniform and the sense of smell was like inhaling the rancid smell of fresh blood.
The blank, frustrated and pain-filled gaze of his eyes was staring at him full of judgment. Frightened, he closed his eyes while continuing to close both ears. No one knows what Jenar is feeling. He tried to dispel the shadows that kept swirling in memory. Until you have to bow to the table, while raking do’a.
Restaurant employees successfully turn on the electricity with the help of a generator set (genset). The lights turned back on, turning the dark instantly into light. Eyes that have just adapted in the dark, make the light feel dazzling. Hara frowned, adjusting her eyesight to the glare of the lights. He looked around, the crowd was grateful for no longer being trapped in the dark.
Varen became the first person to realize, if Jenar was not okay. He wondered why Jenar kept bowing her head with both hands closing her ears. Is Jenar afraid of the dark? As long as they know each other, Varen Jenar is only afraid of cats, not dark, lightning or even rain.
“Why are you, Jen? The lights are on,” Varen said as he touched Jenar's head.
Jenar looked up, flinched. The girl was like a person who had just been roughly awakened from sleep. His eyes were giddy, widened with eyeballs that continued to move.
“True?” Varen called again because Jenar did not answer. Instead he vaguely heard the girl rummaging indistinctly, like a confused and frightened person
“Are you ok, Sweety?” Varen held Jenar's back slowly.
At that moment he felt the back of Jenar tremble, warm and moist. Even though the air is very cold because of the rain accompanied by strong winds. He was about to check on Jenar, gently rubbing the girl's back. However, Varen's hand movements actually made Jenar more surprised.
“Do not touch me!” jenar shouted while distancing herself from Varen.
Sontan Varen pulled his hand. Now he was surprised to see a flash full of emotions held in the eyes of Jenar. Jenar's face paled, her roar of hunting breath visible as the shoulders rose and fell. Just this time he saw Jenar like a frightened person.
"What's happend with you?" Varen was about to take Jenar's hand, but the girl hurriedly stood up violently. Causes a noise because his movement pushes the chair haphazardly.
“Gosh!” Hara immediately read the situation. He threw out a cigarette just like that, rushing over to Jenar who was staring at Varen with a stern look.
Hara, who was only a meter away from Jenar, was forced to retreat because the girl shouted again, “Don't approach!”
Danish stood up, approaching his sister who was fixated with questioning eyes. He whispered in front of his sister's ear, "What did you tell him?"
"Nothing! Brother heard myself I only talked about trivial things when we were in school" replied Varen also in a whisper.
"Is there a word you've written against him?" ask Danish again.
The two looked at each other, then Varen shrugged his shoulders. He was not sure, maybe there was a sentence that made Jenar angry. The girl could be offended when she tells him about the past.
Danish shook her head, as Varen was about to approach Jenar. The girl now turned back to cover her ears with both hands, shaking her head as she continued to fumble.
“I'm a killer, he's dead because of me.”
“No! He shouldn't have died!”
“They came again, the bad guy came again!”
“They searched me!”
"It wasn't him, I should have died!"
"Please! Help me!"
Varen was about to advance, but Hara raised her hand, coded for him to stop and shut up. It wasn't the first time Hara had seen Jenar like this. He knows enough, what to do. No need to be rash if you want to calm Jenar. The girl is out of consciousness, unable to control herself.
With slow steps, even with almost no sound ... Hara approached Jenar. The girl was still mocking and cursing herself. Hara did nothing, just in case until Jenar found a bit of calm. He let Jenar fall down, rumble with his hands still closing his ears and shaking loudly. The girl's cry broke, hysterically heartbreaking.
“I killed him .. he shouldn't have died because of me. I was wrong ...," jenar raved in tears.
Hara bent her knees, crouching in front of Jenar. Slowly once he took the hand of Jenar who closed his ears. However, because Jenar's hand was too strong, Hara could not grab it. He could only hold the hand that closed his ears, cupped Jenar's face, then turned her up. The girl was about to rebel, but Hara tightened her grip. As much as possible he held tightly to Jenar's head, but not to the point of hurting.
“Release me! Don't come near me, freelance!” yelled Jenar hysterically.
“Sstt! Yup!" exciting Hara. He tried to focus Jenar's gaze, "Look at me!”
Jenar was about to shake her head, avoiding Hara's gaze. However, Hara actually tightened the grip so that Jenar could not move his head. He brought his face closer, forcing Jenar to look into his eyes.
“Yes! View me!” strict orders.
Hearing his name being called, Jenar stopped raving. His eyeballs, which had been moving ever since, were slowly looking for focus. He looked at the face of the glassy man who was only a few centimeters away in front of him. His shoulders were up and down, gradually finding a one-on-one rhythm.
“I am a murderer! He died because of me, they came wanting to kill me.” Jeririh with wet eyes caused his vision to blur.
Hara shook her head without changing the direction of her eyes, “Nothing is coming, you are not a killer.”
“He died because of me! They're coming again, look!” Genar again exclaimed and began to rebel.
Hara held off Jenar's constantly moving head, once again she tried to restore the girl's consciousness, “See me!”
After Jenar's gaze could focus on looking at her again, Hara forced to continue to face her. He seemed to want to get into the subconscious of Jenar, to take control. The man then turned the head of Jenar to the left side while saying, “Now look around you!”
The girl said, like being hypnotized. Apparently Hara managed to take control of Jenar's subconscious, until the girl wanted to look around. The atmosphere was crowded, with everyone staring at him. Jara managed to make Jenar gradually able to control herself. The man took both of Jenar's hands which were still in the ears, but had his grip weakened. He grasped the palm that felt that ice-cold softly. Hara meant nothing but to want Jenar to be conscious and in control.
Now look at me!” hara orders slowly while pulling Jenar's hand to look at her.
“Who am I?” hara asked after making sure Jenar's consciousness was regained.
“You're not in that place. Now you are in Magelang, not Surabaya. You are with me, not those guys.” explained Hara, trying to make the tear-soaked girl calm down.
Jenar spread her gaze once again. He can control himself, but not completely. However, the gazes of those around who seemed like intimidating made her come back uncomfortable. The girl pulled her hand from Hara's grasp violently, then slumped her head between two knees. Between fear, anger, disappointment and shame.
He felt judged by everyone. The tonsils of tears that had stopped flowing again, wetting the face that had not dried. Jenar cried, sobbing while hugging her knees tightly. Hara felt pity, her impulsive attitude prompting her to pull the girl into an embrace. Ignoring the questionable eye gazes of all restaurant visitors and employees, including Danish and Varen.
Not a word came out of Hara's mouth. The man simply continued to hug Jenar, letting her spend a cry in the embrace. Avoiding the gazes of everyone, who did not know what pain the girl was feeling.
"Coffee! I need coffee powder, now!" hara shouted after a few minutes of crying.
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Hayo, who's stubborn, but keeps smiling? 😊
Staytune, yeah, guys!😊
